pity party

I hate it when people cancel plans at the last minute. I hate it even more when that person is me.

I spent all afternoon trying to convince my body that it is my birthday week and that I, therefore, can NOT be sick but my stomach was having none of it. I've been feeling queasy all afternoon.

I'm blaming it on my lunch. I had a Lean Cuisine pizza which was so bad that it doesn't even deserve to be called pizza. They should just call it cardboard with pizza toppings. It was either that or the milk I drank. I don't THINK the milk was bad. It shouldn't be bad. But it was chocolate milk so I can't just do a sniff test because it just smelled chocolatey!

I kept thinking that I would start feeling better, but no, I had to tell my friends that I was lame and would not be making it out tonight.

I also kept thinking that if I just puked that I would probably feel a million times better. Which makes me wonder, do other people hate puking as much as I do? I will go to the ends of the earth to avoid puking.

But that reminds me of a client I used to have. Good ol' Larry. Larry hates toilets. Dirty toilets just disgust him. So one night he went out to the bar and got HAMMERED. He puked as he was leaving the bar and once more on the way home. He got to his apartment and what did he do? He got out his cleaning products so that he could clean his toilet before he puked in it!

That still cracks me up.

Send some healthy vibes my way, won't you? This belly ache is no fun at all.