looking young

I had a classmate that I don't know particularly well, come up to me this weekend. The first thing she said was, "I'm not drunk." Which might be the best first sentence you can ever say to someone. The second thing she said was, "But I just wanted to tell you that you seriously don't look like you've aged a day since college!" And then she said a few other nice things.

I was surprised and taken aback and stammered out a weak little "Thank you. That's so sweet."

Had I been more prepared, I would have told her my three secrets to never-ending youth...

1) I have the least stressful job ever. I sit in a dark room with quiet relaxing music playing for hours a day. Plus as I do energy work the good energy flows through me giving me a little boost.

2) I drink insane amounts of water. Some day I will actually pay attention to it but I'd say that I drink at LEAST four nalgenes full of water a day. Sometimes much more.

and last but not least

3) I don't have kids. Kids add an instant five years to you. They are worth it, but it is true.

So there you have it, Nikki Becker's guide to eternal youth.

Reunion was rejuvenating

I'm trying to think of a way to start this post and I don't even have words to describe how wonderful it was to be back at Carleton.

First of all, the campus is gorgeous. When I first came to Carleton (I didn't go there as a prospective student) my family drove to Cowling to meet up with my soccer team for pre-season. My very first view of Carleton was Bell Field and it was love at first sight. So having a dorm room for reunion that overlooked Bell Field was perfect.

I live in a pretty green section of Chicago but even with the park across the street, it is very residential. There is a huge difference between a park with some trees in it and a true forest and there is something just soothing to the soul to see so many trees together. Of course, I was pretty happy to get back to my city where we don't have all the crazy bugs that there are in Northfield but for a weekend it was awesome to be there.

But Carleton isn't about a place, it is about people. And the people who go there are pretty damn amazing. Part of it was being uber PMSy but I was almost brought to happy tears several times this weekend. Convocation was particularly touching. My favorite part was how the class of '61 and the class of 2011 got together to make a time capsule that the class of 2011 will open at their 50th reunion. Clever. Creative. Quirky. Carleton.

People don't really like small talk, but it is a necessary evil. The best part is when you finally get past the small talk and have a real conversation with people. That was what college was all about... the late night let it all hang out conversations. And we got to have some of those this weekend. Sitting in a dorm room, four people to a bed, drinking wine and laughing our asses off- that's what Carleton is all about.

Carleton is also a feeling. I expected to feel many things after being at Carleton this weekend... sad, happy, tired, nostalgic, hungover, intimidated, overwhelmed, embraced, emotional... what I didn't expect was the feeling I felt the most... INSPIRED!!!!

It was driving me crazy that I didn't have my computer with me because the creative juices were just flowing. And I wanted to be working on a million little projects.

My boyfriend hated his college experience, and from what he has said, I think I would have hated his college experience too! I feel unbelievably blessed that I found a place that worked for me. A place where I fit. A place that challenged and accepted me. Whether it be at a college, a job, a family or something else completely different- I hope everybody gets to experience that feeling. That's my wish for the world today.

excessively expensive non-essentials

I'll let you in on a little secret... massage therapists don't make a lot of money. As a result I've learned to keep my overhead down. I don't have a car. I don't have a house. I don't have cable. I know that for some people those are necessities. For me they are extras. If I really felt the need to have those things I would get a real job. (I seriously just shuddered at the thought!)

I do have my weaknesses though. I could care less about designer clothes, but I adore good wine. I'm fine with hand-me-down furniture but I love going out to eat.

The one thing that I can not justify and yet stupidly still do, is spend a ridiculous amount of money on disposable razors. How are these things soooo expensive? I tried for a long time to convince myself that I didn't need a good razor. I used (and stockpiled) the frees ones from the gym. But then I got a free nice razor trial sample in the mail and I was hooked. The difference is mind blowing. But is it worth $3 for a stupid razor?!? Hell no! If we all got together and refused to buy them, would they bring their prices down? I fight with myself every time I go to the store. Don't buy them! Don't buy them! (I bought them.)

I'm thinking about this because I thought I had another razor and it turns out that I don't and I wanted to bring one on my trip this weekend. I thought about stealing one of my boyfriend's but he probably wouldn't be thrilled if I took his last one. That's the other thing... we become miserly over them! Are you willing to give away a razor that you just spent $3 on?! Maybe but I won't be happy about it.

Is there anything else that you guys begrudgingly spend money on?

reunion!

Oh boy, oh boy, oh boy! Reunion is this week! And I'm super excited as you can tell by all the exclamation marks!

When I talk to people (friends and clients) about it, they have mixed reactions. Most people have zero desire to go to a college reunion. But most people went to large schools. What the majority of people say to me is that they already keep in touch with all the people that they want to from college so they feel no need to have a reunion. Those, of course, are the same sort of people who don't want to join facebook because they already keep so well in contact with all their friends. Which, I find hard to believe. Because I know my friends like me. And we do send emails and try to get together but it doesn't always happen. My friends are also really busy and if it weren't for facebook, there are times when we would have no idea what is going on in each other's lives.

So why am I excited for reunion?

- I get to see my friends

- I get to go back on campus... for me the actual Carleton campus is a magical place

- I get to sleep in a dorm room... I'm not sure why that excites me so much, I guess it is just fully immersing myself in the college experience again which I miss (at times)

- I get to not be at work for a few days and go out of state--- yeah vacation!

Part of it too is that I am at such a good place in my life. I am blissfully happy. Annoyingly so. In fact, I often have to turn it down so I don't annoy my friends with my ravings. Had this reunion taken place last November it would have been a different story, but now things are looking good.

Did I mention that I get to see my Pookie! And hopefully my favorite neighbor!? Yeah reunion!

And I get to show off this awesome sunburn! Can't wait!

green

I have to say that in the wintertime I wasn't overly in love with my new neighborhood. It's far from my work and not the safest place I've ever been. But now that summer has come along, I see the attraction.

I'm lucky to live right on a boulevard which means green galore. For those of you not familiar with Chicago- the building planners created a 28 mile network of boulevards to connect our nine major parks with the lakefront. Parts of that are just normal looking streets, but most of them have a nice green open spot in the center lane. This is not my street, but a good example would be this:

So not only do I live on a boulevard, but I also live kitty corner from a cute park and just a few blocks away from an italian ice stand- which in the summer is a very good combo! I got to sit out on a park bench and read some of my book last night.

And then to top it off, at the corner as I walked home- there was a duck! What? There are no ponds around here so that was a bit random. But awesome.

things I like

There is a writing exercise where you write down things that your character likes and doesn't like to get to know them better. To flesh them out and make them a real person. The movie Amelie does this brilliantly.

Obviously everyone loves sunshine and happiness and love, blah, blah, blah... what I am talking about are the little quirks and peccadilloes. So I decided to make a list for myself.

I love the way my ice cube pops when I put it into my steaming hot tea in the morning.

I love when people who are running for the bus or train make it on just before the doors close.

I love assigning inanimate objects personalities and putting them in funny situations.

(check out Ollie in his hammock)

I love the feel of a toddler's hands as they press against my legs to help themselves stay upright.

I love my freckle in the shape of a heart on my thigh.

I love finding shapes- in the bricks outside the window, in the stucco on the ceiling, in the clouds, in the branches of trees....

I love opening a fresh jar of peanut butter and taking my knife and drawing a heart in it.

I love the smell of new plastic toys.

I love washing my hands after they have gotten really dirty and seeing the muddy water in the sink.

I love when siblings wear matching outfits.

***

I hate kissing people who are dehydrated and have dry mouths.

I hate when smokers throw their cigarettes down and don't ground them out and the stubs continue smoking.

I hate how popular Elmo has become.

I hate it when stores misspell words on their signs, eg. "Kidz Klub."

I hate when children yell at their mothers.

I hate needing four remote controls to get a DVD to play.

I hate when people put cryptic messages as their Facebook status, just begging for attention but unwilling to divulge information.

I hate when people put huge hoops into their ears (sort of like earrings) and then take them out and the skin of the earlobes is deformed and hanging loose.

I hate black bathroom fixtures (especially toilets.)

I hate when people don't hold open the door for the people coming through behind them.

***

It's a good exercise and one that is harder to do than you would think because you need to get things that are very specific and that say something about the person.

There's a big difference between saying that someone likes the smell of lavender and saying that someone uses lavender scented shampoo because when she was a little girl her mother told her that the scent of lavender attracted fairies.

Alright, now time to go do this for my characters.

uncle orson

Last month I submitted a piece of writing in an attempt to win a scholarship to Uncle Orson's Literary Boot Camp- a week long writing class with my favorite author, Orson Scott Card, in August. It starts with a two day seminar which is open to a large group of people and then there is the five day class with just fourteen people.

I had the option of just applying to get into the class normally... or I could apply for the scholarship. However, if you applied to the scholarship, you could NOT apply normally. I assume they did that to limit the number of people applying for the scholarship to those that really needed it.

So I applied, hoping that I would get it, but not really expecting it. And I didn't. I'll mention that now, instead of building up the suspense and letting you down later. However, I am the runner up. Which is awesome, but also sucks. Great to know that I was close. But sucks to know that I was SOOOO close and didn't get it.

So the piece of writing that they requested was the first 300 words or so/ first page of a short story. The only problem with that being that I don't write short stories! So I sat down and shot one out. It's hard to write something compelling in only 300 words!

It's not the best writing in the world but I was joking with Mike before I sent it in that I don't want it to be perfect because if it was perfect they would look at it and say "She can already write brilliantly, she doesn't NEED a writing class!" I wanted them to think that I had potential but could really use a writing class! I also left it with a bit of a cliffhanger/mystery so that they would want me to come because they would want to know more... um, I'd like to know more too... I never actually finished this story...

But since I'm not willing to share my novel with the world just yet, I decided you could read this tiny little piece that I threw together...

Wombmate

by Nicolette Becker

It was the first time she had ever kept a secret from me. I didn’t even know she was capable of keeping secrets from me. Was I capable of keeping secrets from her? I don’t know. I had never thought to try.

We kept secrets from other people. Sure. We did that all the time. But that was easy. Other people couldn’t read our minds. Keeping secrets from them was just a matter of keeping our mouths closed.

I stared at my twin intently across the dinner table, trying to get her attention. She focused on the milk she was drinking, focused on our mother who was recounting a story about the woman in front of her in line at the grocery store earlier that day, focused on everything except me, avoiding my eye contact at all costs. I tried to reach into her head to hear what she was thinking but she blocked me out. I knew her brain as well as I knew my own. Sometimes I forgot which one of us had the thought in the first place. We swapped thoughts like some sisters swapped clothes. Or at least we had, until tonight. I could still read some of her thoughts. The ones lingering in the background. I knew she was thinking about her test at school tomorrow and whether she should take a shower tonight or in the morning. I felt her mundane thoughts but there was a gray area that I just couldn’t penetrate. A new secret area that I couldn’t access. I tried harder, digging into her thoughts and she blocked me forcibly, shutting me out of her realm completely. I recoiled as if I had been slapped.

My mom stopped talking midsentence and stared at me, “Honey, are you okay?”

I gulped, choking on the ball of tears in my throat. Not trusting myself to speak I simply nodded. I took a bite of my chicken. All I could taste was sadness. My twin. Why was my twin rejecting me?

I’m sorry, my twin thought at me. I felt her enter my head, she calmed me and soothed me. I love you, she thought to me, but it’s not my secret to tell.

I got this note back from his assistant...

Dear Nikki,

Thank you for your scholarship application to Uncle Orson’s Literary Boot Camp. Unfortunately, the scholarship was given to another applicant. However, if for some reason she is unable to attend, you are the first alternate.

Mr. Card asked me to make it clear that not being accepted did not mean that your writing was judged “not good." The pool of scholarship applications was incredibly talented -- he wished he could have accepted more!

He also asked me to let you know, if you're interested, that he would like to offer you a scholarship to the two-day Writing Class portion of the week (August 8-9). This scholarship was not in the original plan, but your writing was so good, he wanted to extend the offer. There is certainly no pressure to accept, and you'll still be on your own for transportation, housing and meals. But he would love to have you as part of the workshop if you'd like. Just let me know and I'll add you to the list.

Thanks again. Sorry about the Boot Camp, but hopefully we'll see you at the Writing Class.

So that was nice. I think I'll go if I can finagle it. I'd love to read the other entries.