What is healthy?

Would you define yourself as healthy? What is healthy?

We live in a Western society. Western medicine tends to define healthy as not sick. No signs of disease. That's one way to look at it, and a lot of people would agree with that.

But there is another way to look at it...

Lack of disease just gets you to the neutral point. But you can keep going and really achieve so much more.

The example that I am thinking of is depression, because it affects me and a lot of my friends. To the left you would have suicidal thoughts and sadness. In the center you would feel okay. But on the right you could really be happy.

It's the same with your physical health and your spiritual health.

A large part of my job is taking people who are in pain and getting them back to that neutral point where it doesn't hurt. If I can get them there, people are thrilled. But more often than not, we can go beyond that to the point where people will actually feel good.

I'm not against Western medicine at all. They cured my mom of cancer. If I have a problem, I will go and seek the help of a doctor.

I just don't like that Western medicine sets the bar so low. They are happy with neutral health. I don't want neutral health. I want good health.

insults

Wanna hear the new insult I thought up this morning while staring in the mirror? Of course you do!

"Are you going on a trip somewhere?"

"No."

"Then why do you have such big bags under your eyes!"

(oh snap!)

inglourious basterds

Okay, so I've watched Inglourious Basterds twice in the last two weeks. And I can easily foresee seeing it several more times.

What is it about a movie that makes it rewatchable? We all have our favorites that we have seen time and time again. And movies that you couldn't make us watch again if you paid us. So what is it?

For some it is because the story moves us. For others because the lines are so funny that they make us laugh, no matter how many times we've heard them. Sometimes it is because we have a crush on an actor or actress. And then sometimes there is a movie that is just so beautiful that you need to see it over and over again, like looking at a painting. Each time you discover something new, another layer.

Inglourious Basterds does all of that. Quentin Tarantino is a genius. I like George Lucas's films, but I'm not going to say that man is a genius. Quentin (is it alright if I call you Quentin? Good.) is a genius. Does he just choose unbelievably good actors? Or is it his directing that brings out the best in the actors? Or is he completely hands off and just lets his actors act? I'd love to see him in action. Whereas, George Lucas (sorry, don't know why I am picking on him) can take amazing actors (like Natalie Portman) and turn them into bumbling idiots (albeit with really cool hairdos.)

If I made movies they would be like Quentin's. But with less gore. Kind of makes you wonder what kind of sick and twisted guy he is. Fine line between madness and genius. Very fine line.

stuff

Went over to my grandma Irene's house yesterday to help my mom and aunt with cleaning it out a bit.

Wow, all I can say is wow. You can really accumulate a lot of stuff over 94 years. Makes me want to purge. Get rid of all my stuff. How many knick-knacks does one person need? Answer: zero. So when my aunt tried to pawn a bunch of stuff off on me, I respectfully declined.

My sister and I have a new rule where instead of getting each other stuff, we are just going to get each other gift certificates for restaurants, museum memberships or go traveling together.

Down with stuff!

bad poetry

What's that you say? You want to read some really bad poetry?

Okay, okay, settle down. I'll give you some bad poetry. That has not been reworked or edited. Enjoy.

Winter Sunshine

You are my sunshine

my winter sunshine

not the overbearing

superfluous burden of summer sunshine

not the sunshine that beats down on you

and adds to the heat

oppressing you

and forcing you back into the shadows for relief

no

you are the sunshine of winter

a source of beauty

and hope

when all looks bleak

a source of heat

when the cold has penetrated down to your bones

and you think you'll never be warm again

you dazzle

you make people loosen their scarves and say

"if only every day was like this,

winter wouldn't be so bad."

you make the cold more bearable

your make the snow more bearable

you illuminate the beauty

which I would have otherwise missed

intense but fleeting

you are what pulls me through

secret talents

My best friend Jamie and I have been playing scrabble lately. Since she lives in Minnesota, what I mean by this is that we have about six games going online continuously. She called tonight to let me know that she was impressed by my mad scrabble skills.

Which brings up something about me... I am amazingly talented... but only at things that will do me no good in life. I mean, they help me out in life, but they aren't exactly resume builders.

Case in point, I am amazingly good at:

juggling a soccer ball on my knees

kissing

playing scrabble

reading people's moods

scrunching up my face

blowing bubbles through the gap in my teeth

playing Mario Kart

typing

making my way through my apartment with my eyes closed

remembering my dreams

taking fast showers

remembering the words to Disney songs

drinking wine

playing bubble shooter type games

ignoring yelling children

speaking mediocre French

flirting

falling asleep in moving vehicles

whistling

getting out of mowing the lawn

So, all in all, I'm glad I have these skills. But they aren't as useful as say, knowing how to use Excel.

promises broken

Be careful what you say.

My mom is in town for two weeks and yesterday my mom, sister and I were sitting around and talking for a little bit. Since they were about to head to my cousin's baby's Christening and had a present for the baby's older sister as well, we got to talking about presents for the other siblings when a child is born.

Apparently when each of her children was born, my mom did something special with her other children as well- since they were about to have a lot less of her attention for a while!

When my brother Mike was born, my mom took my sister Sam to see the musical Annie.

When my mom told my sister that she was pregnant with me, she got really excited. Because my mom had promised her that if she had six kids that we could get a maid- just like the Brady Bunch! "We're getting an Alice!" my sister exclaimed.

Oops. My mom had forgotten about that promise. Mainly because she thought it was a really safe promise to make since she only planned on having four kids.

We did not get a maid. But we did get our first dishwasher!

Be careful what you promise, because you never know what's going to happen.

shaving and razors

So here's a fun fact from the sex ed book I am reading...

Women did not start shaving until the safety razor was invented in the early 1900s, and the Gillette company began to advertise the supposed sanitary benefits of shaving your armpits. Women began shaving their legs during World War II, when a shortage of silk stockings forced women to go bare-legged more.

moments

Life is all about those little special moments.

I had one of those moments last night.

I was waiting for my sister on the Brown line Western stop platform and I started whistling the Andy Griffith theme song.

I stopped about two-thirds of the way through and the guy a couple feet down from me picked up where I left off and finished whistling the song!

We didn't say a word but he gave me a grin and a wink as he got on the train.

:)

sex ed book

As some of you know, I have been writing a sex ed book.

Well, I stumbled across some good news and some bad news yesterday.

The bad news is that someone has actually already made pretty much the exact book that I was going to make. Except that theirs doesn't include actual photos, which I think is a really important part of helping people develop good self-esteem. They need to see photos of what real people look like. However, including those photos will make the book a lot harder to publish I am sure. And, otherwise, this book (though it is geared toward 13 year old girls and not everyone) does everything that I want my book to do.

The good news, is that this book is a national best seller! See, I KNEW it was a good idea! :)

honesty

This post is about giving permission to all my friends to just be completely honest with me. Going through all those emails, I found a lot that had to do with stupid boy drama. How many months of frustration would have been saved if a friend had just come up to me and said, "Nikki, he is a douche bag. You are being an idiot." But nobody did. They let me go on and on (and on!) about stupid problems I was having.

Well, no more! When I am being an idiot, tell me I am being an idiot. When those jeans make my ass look huge, tell me they look huge. Be honest with me! Please!

We all know some drama queens. I don't really feel like I'm a drama queen. I do sometimes embellish some of my stories to make them a little bit more dramatic just to make them more interesting, but I don't think of myself as a drama queen.

So I asked my friend the other night if I was a drama queen. She replied no, but that I do seem to have a tendency to jump into relationships quickly. Fair enough!

I need more friends who are willing to tell it as it is. Not just what I want to hear.

bill gates' talk

Again, I am just copying here what somebody else wrote but it gave me a little food for thought so thought you all might enjoy it...

Bill Gates recently gave a speech at a high school about eleven things that students would not learn in school. He talked about how feel-good, politically correct teachings created a generation of kids with no concept of reality and how this same concept set them up for failure in the real world. So, love him or hate him, Bill Gates sure hits the nail on the head with his comments:

Rule 1: Life is not fair- get used to it!

Rule 2: The world doesn't care about your self-esteem. The world will expect you to accomplish something before you feel good about yourself.

Rule 3: You will not make $60,000 a year right out of high school and you won't be a vice-president with a car phone until you earn both.

Rule 4: If you think your teacher is tough, wait until you get a boss.

Rule 5: Flipping burgers is not beneath your dignity. Your grand parents had a different word for burger flipping- they called it opportunity.

Rule 6: If you mess up, it's not your parents' fault. So, don't whine about your mistakes, learn from them.

Rule 7: Before you were born, your parents weren't as boring as they are now. They got that way from paying your bills, cleaning your clothes & listening to you talking about how cool you are. So, before you save the rain forest from the parasite of your parents' generation, try delousing the closet in your room.

Rule 8: Your school may have done away with winners and losers, but life has not. In some schools, they have abolished failing grades and you get as many times as needed to get the correct answer.

This does not bear any resemblance to anything in real life.

Rule 9: Life is not divided into semesters. You don't get summers off and very few employers are interested in helping you find yourself. Do that on your own time.

Rule 10: Television is not real life. In real life people actually have to leave the coffee shop and go to their jobs.

Rule 11: Be nice to nerds. Chances are you'll end up working for one.

Okay, the comment in #3 about the "car phone" makes me think this is a little bit dated! But still, some interesting stuff there. I do wonder how the way kids are being raised today is going to affect them as adults.

In regards to #8, I was not scarred as a child from losing at things. I went to my nephew's soccer game a few years ago and I said, "Oh, is the score board broken?" and he informed me that they don't keep score. But he made us keep track for him so that he could know the score after the game! I can see the arguments for not keeping score. Especially for really little kids.

But back in my day, (yup, I am old enough to finally be able to say that!) we used to keep score, and sometimes we lost, and we still had fun!

mailboxes

One of the things that I found a little bit sad about cleaning out my inbox, that still had years' worth of emails in it, and sorting them into either individual mailboxes or the trash, is the number of people that I have emails from in my inbox or in mailboxes that I haven't talked to in years.

And I'm not just talking random acquaintances, I am talking about people that I used to hang out with multiple times a week and whom I've just lost touch with/ stopped being friends with.

I counted up my mailboxes and there were a lot. I am tempted to write an email to every single person that I have a mailbox for. That would be sixty-nine emails. Hmmm, maybe a mass mailing would work better! Of course, there would be a lot of really random emails in there- many ex-boyfriends, the random guy I met on the plane in Greece, old clients and, of course, family.

Though it would be nice to talk to some of them, it's probably better to just let sleeping dogs lie.

inbox

Ugh, do you know what one of the least satisfying things you can do is? Cleaning out your inbox. And yes, that sentence does cause me to collapse into giggles. But seriously, if I spend an hour cleaning up in the attic, I can at least see a marked improvement. When I spend an hour cleaning out my yahoo inbox (I was determined to get down to less that 1000 emails in my inbox) all I had to show for it was a smaller number in the right hand corner of my screen. Which begs the question, why bother doing it in the first place?

attic

You know that you need a break from work when you are excited to have a day off work so that you can go spend a few hours cleaning your attic.

To be fair, attics are really awesome places. They are just full of treasures. What did I find today? A bunch of old children's records. A cooler in the shape of a giant Pepsi can. Our Crossbows and Catapults game- best game ever! Enough Bernstein Bears books to keep a six year old occupied for a year. And a box of old costumes from the seventies.

And a hornets' nest.

Yup, a hornets' nest next to the small hole next to the window. Thankfully it does not appear to be an active hornets' nest.

It just goes to show, you never know what you're going to find.

world wide web?

When did we do away with having to have www. as part of a web address?

grandma's arm

Okay people, start sending out some good vibes to my Grandma Virginia. She needs to have surgery on her shoulder this week.

trader joe's

Have you ever noticed that the workers at Trader Joe's are ridiculously happy? I mean, ridiculously happy. As well they should be seeing as how they are selling yummy food at decent prices and manage to pack into one bag an amount of food that other grocery store baggers would have to use about six bags to pack up. They've got to feel good about that.

But I wonder about them sometimes, with their bright cheerful smiles and little, happy small talk. Is it all a show? Do they have to excuse themselves from time to time and go into the back room and cuss and swear and frown? Or does working with all those other happy people wear off on them? Does it just make them happier? Does it make going to work a pleasant experience for them?

Conversely, does being around negative people bring you down? Well, duh. Sure it does. Which is why I am so sick of riding the green line. You have never seen a more miserable group of people than the individuals who ride the green line. Outside of the green line they are probably actually happy people. But on the green line everyone puts on their unhappy "don't mess with me" face. I feel my heart chakra close down every time I get on. I've got to admit, it's making me a little bit miserable.

The Taxi Ride

I don't usually post other people's writings but I liked this story that I stumbled upon this morning so here ya go...

I arrived at the address where someone had requested a taxi. I honked but no one came out. I honked again, nothing. So I walked to the door and knocked. "Just a minute," answered a frail, elderly voice. I could hear something being dragged across the floor. After a long pause, the door opened. A small woman in her 90's stood before me.

By her side was a small nylon suitcase. The apartment looked as if no one had lived in it for years. All the furniture was covered with sheets.

"Would you carry my bag out to the car?" she said. I took the suitcase to the cab, and then returned to assist the woman.

She kept thanking me for my kindness. "It's nothing," I told her, "I just try to treat my passengers the way I would want my mother treated."

"Oh, you're such a good boy," she said. When we got in the cab, she gave me an address, and then asked, "Could you drive through downtown?"

"It's not the shortest way," I answered quickly.

"Oh, I don't mind," she said, "I'm in no hurry. I'm on my way to a hospice."

I looked in the rear-view mirror. Her eyes were glistening. "I don't have any family left," she continued, "The doctor says I don't have very long." I quietly reached over and shut off the meter.

"What route would you like me to take?" I asked.

For the next two hours, we drove through the city. She showed me the building where she had once worked as an elevator operator. We drove through the neighborhood where she and her husband had lived when they were newlyweds. She had me pull up in front of a furniture warehouse that had once been a ballroom where she had gone dancing as a girl.

As the first hint of sun was creasing the horizon, she suddenly said, "I'm tired. Let's go now."

We drove in silence to the address she had given me. It was a low building, like a convalescent home, with a driveway that passed under a portico.

"How much do I owe you?" she asked, reaching into her purse.

"Nothing," I said.

"You have to make a living," she answered.

"There are other passengers," I responded.

Almost without thinking, I bent and gave her a hug. She held onto me tightly.

"You gave an old woman a little moment of joy," she said.

"Thank you."

I squeezed her hand, and then walked into the dim morning light. Behind me, a door shut. It was the sound of the closing of a life.

I didn't pick up any more passengers that shift. I drove aimlessly lost in thought. For the rest of that day, I could hardly talk. What if that women had gotten an angry driver, or one who was impatient to end his shift?

What if I had refused to take the run, or had honked once, the driven away?

On a quick review, I don't think that I have done anything more important in my life.

People may not remember exactly what you said or did, but they will always remember how you made them feel.

spam

How do I get on these spam lists?

While I am glad not to be getting spam for viagra or naked women, the ones that I get are equally as bizarre.

In the past week I have gotten spam for buying or selling my timeshare, black singles, mature singles (50 and over), and power wheelchairs.

?

ridin' the rails

Have you ever read The Tipping Point? It was pretty popular a few years back. The first chapter talks about how the crime on the New York City subway was getting so bad that when a man was getting robbed by some thugs, he pulled out a gun and shot and killed one of the attackers. Everyone cheered for the killer. They were fed up with all the crime.

I understand where they are coming from. The violence and crime on the el has been escalating lately. It used to be that if you were smart and kept to yourself that you would be fine. Not so anymore. Everyone is a target.

As you may remember from a previous post, I had my iphone stolen out of my hands while riding the green line. A few weeks ago I read an article from one of my favorite Red Eye writers, Mark Bazer, describing the same exact thing happen to his wife.

http://www.chicagonow.com/blogs/redeye/2010/01/theft-theres-an-app-for-that.html

But it doesn't stop there! A friend's little brother was beaten up riding the green line home around midnight a few weeks ago. A gay man tried to break up a fight between two guys on the el just to have both guys turn and attack him, mainly for him being gay. They didn't let up until the man started bleeding and lied and said that he was HIV positive.

My favorite story of late is of the man who was minding his own business, watching a movie on his iphone as he rode home. A group of thugs punched him in the face and tried to take his iphone. What they didn't expect was to find some resistance. The iphone owner pulled out a knife and stabbed two of his attackers! Yes! Perhaps they will think twice about attacking someone again!

When will it end? How do we stop this? I don't feel safe. It is to the point where the hassle of driving to work and searching for parking seems worth it. Maybe I will do that from now on. Oh wait, I don't have a car. I don't have a choice but to ride the el.

Wish me luck.

Hi,

It's me, Nikki. Do you ever feel guilty about having a good day when you know other people are struggling?

tools

I just realized something as I was trying to tidy up the tool room... it is really hard to tidy up things when you don't know what they are!

I'd say that I know more about tools than a lot of my female friends- living in a house that is over a hundred years old you are forced to learn about fix-it projects whether you want to or not. But there was a lot that I still have no idea how to classify or how to group together. So a lot of it stayed where it is. Though the painting supplies are a lot neater. As a reward for my efforts though, I did find two caster cups- the things you stick under furniture legs that have wheels to stop them moving! And I needed two of them so that was just perfect. Try to do good deeds and the universe will reward you.

depression cont'd

The funny part is... there are days like today when I am not depressed at all and I wonder how anyone can be depressed, what with the wonderful world we live in and all that we are blessed with. Why can't I feel this way every day?

depression

I remember the very first time I posted about depression. It was so hard for me. Seriously, I was crying about it as I wrote it. And I wasn't even depressed at the time. Just thinking about it and reliving some of those hard times was enough to get me upset.

The worst thing about depression is that it is in your mind. It isn't like a broken arm that you can put a cast on and it gets better by itself. It is something that you have to think about and work on. The body has such an amazing way of healing itself and righting itself. Why doesn't the brain say, "Whoa! My joy level is getting too low, I better input some chemical to get that back up there!"?

For those of you who know, depression is a really hard thing to deal with. And what amazes me is how many people DO know. How many people DO struggle with depression. I kept it all locked inside of me for so long, never talking to people about it. And I've found that so many other people have done the same thing.

There is something so liberating about talking about it. So freeing about comparing stories with friends about our shrinks and our funks and our remedies.

Part of depression is feeling like you are alone. Mainly because nobody else can fix you.

So it really helps knowing that there are other people out there struggling with the same stuff. That you aren't alone. That you aren't crazy.

I just want to give kudos to the people out there who are brave enough to talk about it and share. You guys are great.

lotto

Do you ever wait to check your lotto ticket? I could check right now and find out that I have lost. Or I could wait a few hours and continue to have that hope that maybe, just maybe I won.

need my sleep

I had a dream last night that I was back at Carleton, living with my best friend Jamie and dating Zac Effron (who played on the Carleton basketball team in my dream). I am thinking that my friends who only claim to need six or less hours of sleep a night, do not have as wonderful of dreams as I do and therefore do not enjoy sleep as much as I do. Ah, Zac!

lists

I had a friend make a comment to me about one of my postings that I thought was weird. They told me that they don't like to make lists for an odd reason, "I don't like creating lists of things I would like to do because there is a chance I would exclude something I didn't know I would enjoy doing."

That doesn't make sense to me. Because it isn't like I would ever pass up on a great new opportunity that came my way simply because it wasn't already on a list of things that I wanted to do. The lists of things I want to do are not rigid rules to follow, they are mere guidelines to point me on my way when I start to get lost and think, "What do I want to do with my life?" That's why I enjoy revisiting those lists, because it is fun to see how the things I have wanted to do have changed as I have gotten older and tried other things.

But they did make another suggest that I liked, which was to make a list of the amazing things that happened to me this year that were not on the list.

It has been quite a year for me- this time last year I was packing up my rat infested apartment! A lot has happened and a lot has changed.

2009 in review (but in no particular order):

1. I was practically attacked by a rat. Though no actual physical contact was made, he was definitely charging me in a very bull-like manner until I started screaming my head off and he veered off into the kitchen.

2. I started playing volleyball again and realized how much I absolutely love the game and how much fun it is to play when your team doesn't consist of a bunch of snotty teenaged girls.

3. I started going on nightly walks (or at least a couple of times a week) with my sister where we opened up and communicated and shared like we never had before.

4. I took a seven month (much needed) break from dating. And loved it.

5. I painted my room. But more importantly I created a space for myself.

6. I flew first class.

7. I fell in love. Glad to know my heart is still capable of that. Past boyfriends haven't ruined me permanently!

8. I watched a sunset slip down over the Grand Canyon.

9. I traveled. It's been a long time since I've traveled and I have missed it. Once you get the travel bug in you, it is a disease that doesn't go away. I'd been itching to travel. This past year I went to Texas, Las Vegas, Atlanta and Minnesota.

10. I discovered Peter Lik's photography. Which kind of blew my mind and made me really excited. It's sort of like if you had never heard of Da Vinci and then one day stumbled across his works. Not that his works are similar to his in any way, I guess what I am trying to say is that it is fun when you randomly (while stumbling around a Las Vegas casino) stumble upon a true master. Check him out. And buy me one of his limited edition prints! http://www.peterlik.com/

11. I got laser hair removal done which has made my life so much happier/easier/ less hairy.

12. I lost a couple of my regular clients (not dead, they just stopped coming) and dealt with it.

13. I started playing tennis and was reminded of what it is like to be a beginner at something.

14. I attempted pole dancing and was reminded of what it is like to be AWFUL at something.

15. I joined a book club where I met a slew of terrific, intelligent women.

16. I have really opened myself and shared myself with a lot more people. Took chances at getting hurt.

What is funny about number 16 is how it is true, but not necessarily true for this blog. I still hold back a lot on this blog. For example, I am willing to tell you that I fell in love this year but not willing to go into the details. And I'm not willing to delve into the past and the things that made me wonder if I would ever fall in love again. But anything you want to know about me making an ass out of myself at pole dancing class, I will gladly tell ya!

This list is impossible. I give up. How can I create a list of all the things that happened to me this year? Way too many things! There were big things like moving back to the suburbs and learning to love it. And small things like the time the woman on the street in Vegas told my boyfriend that he was lucky to be with me because I was pretty and "had a black woman's ass!"

So many moments. So many memories. Time to stop blogging and go make some more!

misspellings

One of the pet peeves of my best friend is when restaurants and advertisements use misspelled words purposefully. For example, Taco Bell invites young ones to join the "Kidz Klub." As Jamie said, how are kids expected to learn how to spell when they see these misspelled words everywhere?

It's a valid point. While I am willing to overlook misspellings and grammar mistakes in friendly emails and text messages, I am a firm believer that things that are sent out to mass groups of people should be proof read and spell checked.

Therefore, I was a little bit disturbed at an ad I saw on the el the other day. It is about students having an option when it comes to what Chicago school they attend.

Let me repeat that, it is about them having a choice in which SCHOOL (where they go to learn proper English and grammar!) they attend.

The girl in this poster has a choice. Hopefully it is the choice to not go to the same school as whatever school the ad genius who came up with this poster went to where they obviously didn't teach them that "i" is always capitalized, especially when it is the beginning of a sentence!

video FAIL!

I've never wanted to cry so much in my life!

Strange things always happen to me when I'm on the el- but only when I am alone. If I ride with someone the journey is always dull and boring, nothing out of the ordinary. (That's not a comment on the friends that I am riding with, by the way!)

So today I was thrilled because when seven little local urchins got on the el (sans parents) and proceeded to demonstrate their gymnastic skills, I had my new iphone (with video capability) ready to capture all of their antics so that I could show you that I don't make this stuff up.

But what I just realized as I plugged in my phone to upload the video is that since I got a phone call in the middle of taking that video, that the video didn't save!

It was so awesome too! These kids must have been part of the Jesse White Tumblers. They would grab the bars on either side of the aisle fling their bodies in the air and do front and back flips. They used that el car like a jungle gym. And they were good! Part of me wanted to yell at them and part of me wanted to join them! Come on! Admit it! You are tempted to swing on those bars and poles from time to time!

Alas, I have no video to show you. You would have been impressed. Damn it! I really wish I had that video! Grrrrrrr!

resolutions

With the new year comes new resolutions. I really only have one resolution that I am making. That is to stop procrastinating.

It's kind of a big one. But such a good one! Case in point, I just put away the Nativity that we put up for Christmas. Packing it up and putting it away sucks. Big time. Especially because it then requires lugging a bunch of heavy boxes up two long flights of curvy stairs to the attic. But I did it. It took a long time. But now it is done. And I don't have it hanging over my head.

Life is better when you don't procrastinate. I need to keep reminding myself of that.

to do revisited

I was revisiting my "To Do" List, the very first post I ever made on this blog, to see how many things I have managed to accomplish so far.

#5- get Lasik eye surgery

Done and done. One of the best things I have ever done. It's true though, I do sort of take my awesome 20/20 vision for granted now.

#24- hang out with Ellen Degeneres

I went and saw her at the Chicago Theater. We were together in the same building- does that count as hanging out? Okay, not really. I will keep this one on the list.

#25- floss at least four times a week (cuz let's be realistic, it's not gonna happen daily)

I am pretty darn good at this!

#31- beat Dakota's top score on Scramble (this is actually attainable, I realize that beating June will never happen)

Ah, that was a good day.

#37- forgive my ex-boyfriend

Okay, I am still working on this but have made tremendous progress.

#38- see my Pookie at least once a year

Just saw her last week! And it was wonderful so I plan on definitely continuing!

#43- start a blog

Well, duh.

#44- keep writing my pen pals until I am old and gray

So far, so good.

#46- get a (consistent) killer serve in volleyball

Okay, so it may not be "killer" but it is consistent which is amazing since I used to be an AWFUL server and now it is totally a piece of cake.

#59- overcome my fears (of drowning, being smashed on the coral or being eaten by a shark) and learn to surf

So I learned to surf in Lake Michigan where I did not have to worry about sharks or coral but the point is that I learned to surf!

#73- forgive myself for all the stupid things that I have done/mistakes that I have made

Again, maybe not completely there but have made lots of progress.

#78- write my grandma a letter every month

I don't keep track of exact days but we have a good pretty steady communication going.

#79- get rid of half my possessions

Not half, but many, many bags and boxes full were given to good will this year!

#82- learn to do a really cool magic trick that I can impress drunk people with when I'm out at the bars

I know a sweet card trick now! And a sweet coloring book trick- which really impresses three and four year olds!

I thought that "riding first class in an airplane" was on that list. It had been on one of my lists at some point. I finally did that this year. And it was great. I highly recommend it. Did you know that you get to check two bags for free? And that they come out first at baggage claim? And even if you aren't served a meal that you still get sun chips and Twix and bananas? First class rocks. I have been spoiled.

So the list of things I have done really isn't that impressive. What I am more impressed with is the mental and emotional growth that I've done. That's a lot harder to check off on a list. How do you quantify something like "be happier" or "be more at peace"? I can't give you concrete evidence, but I am in a better place now than I was a year ago and that, my friends, is a very good thing.

New Year, New Pics

So one of the things that I have been piss-poor about is having photos in my blog. I do think that they add something to all the other blogs I read and so in this new year I vow to add more photos. I already try to take more photos (though I still don't take nearly enough!) but I try to take at least three photos a day- of anything that strikes my fancy. What I think is interesting about taking random photos during the day is that it gives people insight into how I think. Two people can walk down the same street and notice totally different things. Sharing with you the photos that I take can give you a taste of what I notice and how I think and see the world. These are not in the order that I want but it seems like a lot of work to put them in the correct order (I promised to add photos, not to not be lazy!) so we will just have to deal with them as is.

This is one of the Tiger Woods' ads in the airport. I don't know if this was made before or after his scandal but I like to think that it was made before and now takes on lots of new meaning and irony!

This is a picture of me and my Pookie! This is my best friend Jamie who just happens to work at the art museum that I was visiting this week. She is one of those rare people that I can not see for years and then see again and it seems like we were never apart!

Christmas with the Beckers. Nothing like a little booze and euchre to celebrate Christ's birthday! On the plus side, it is precisely because we do do things like play games and maybe drink a little that our family gatherings go from being a chore to being quite fun.

This is my new Yoda doll that I got for Christmas. Every time I look at him it makes me smile. Plus he is going to fit in so nicely with the Star Wars room that I am going to make someday.

This is my nephew Beck. I don't know where the fake mustache came from but there are few things funnier than a fake mustache on a six year old.

It may seem a little irreverent but it is nice to know that we could find some smiles and laughter in the midst of the sadness of my Grandma's wake.

Ella, me and Lily at the zoo. They obviously get their awesome taste in hats from me!

I love personalized license plates in general but this one that I found on a Smart Car at Target was one of the best I have seen in a long time.

This is a little bit ridiculous.

A girl and her moose. I try to be discreet when taking pictures of other people on the El but it can be hard because there are just so many good people to take pictures of! I saw her when I was coming home after a long day. It made me smile.

Hello, Grand Canyon! I find there is something about spreading your arms open like this and taking a deep breath that really opens up your mind and soul so that you can appreciate where you are.

These are from a book that we have floating around in the break room at work. I believe the book is called "What your pets do while you're at work." Very random. But kind of funny.

Anyways, that is my story. Expect lots more pictures to come during the coming year. Maybe not quite as random as this. Then again, maybe just as random as this.