yeooooooowwwww!

Oh, the chaffing! Dear god, the chaffing! This is why sane people don't go running.

The worst part is that the chaffing didn't really start until after I had run to the park and done my sprints. But then it started and I still had to go over a mile to get back home.

Major dilemma, do I run home which makes the chaffing worse but gets it over quicker. Or do I walk which means I can spread my legs a little wider to stop them rubbing together so much but makes the agony last four times longer?

On the plus side, I have absolutely no hair now on my inner thighs! :)

catch 22

I saw someone walking Oliver the other day. Oliver is the bernese mountain dog that lives in my old neighborhood. One of the sweetest dogs ever. It is my favorite kind of dog. It made me so happy to see him.

And I realized something... I am an adult. I can just go and buy myself a bernese mountain dog! How awesome is that!?! I don't have to badger my parents for years until they cave and buy it. I can just do a google search and find one and go buy it!

But then I remembered that I am an adult and I know that it wouldn't be a good idea. And so I didn't do it.

Sigh!

plots

When my client asked me today what my novel that I am working on is about, I felt stupid telling her.

And then I realized something... the plots to EVERY sci-fi/ fantasy book SOUNDS stupid if you are just describing it.

Take Lord of the Rings for example. A classic. One of the best books ever written. And yet when you describe it... it's about a dwarf, an elf, a wizard and some hobbits- which are little furry humans, who need to take this ring and throw it in a volcano to stop the bad guy who is really just a big eye in the sky.

Well, it sounds stupid too. And yet, it has sold billions. Which gives me some hope. :)

ella

I have some of the funniest nieces and nephews in the world. Ella may take the cake though. This is a picture of Ella. It is a little dated, it was taken over a year ago. She is now three and a half years old. But I think the picture does her justice. It shows just how sweet and innocent she looks.

So guess what Ella wants to be called now? Her new nickname that she gave herself is... "Snake."

I'm telling you, this girl is going to grow up to be a rock star.

perks

Awwwww... I just had a client stop by just to get a hug from me.

I like my job.

so true

Diets and PMS just don't mix.

nikki-isms

We are all flawed. Hopelessly, wonderfully flawed.

jeff foxworthy with a twist

If you've ever skipped a workout because your boobs were too sore... you might be a woman.

If you've ever cried because someone was nice to you... you might be a woman.

If you believe that chocolate is a cure for cramps... you might be a woman.

If you've ever wondered why it is so hard for other people to put their dirty clothes into the hamper... you might be a woman.

If you know who Christian Louboutin and Manolo Blahnik are... you might be a woman.

If you know who puts Baby in the corner (that's right- NOBODY!)... you might be a woman.

one year

Well, I've been doing this whole blogging thing for a year. A year with Nikki. My mission statement was that you can change your life and get the life you want. You just have to have the guts.

I still firmly believe that.

However, it has been a year and I definitely don't have the life that I want. Not even close.

No husband. No babies. No money.

Though, really, if I wanted, I COULD have had that. But it would have gone against what my heart was telling me to do.

Do I still want those things?

Yes.

Would I probably be happier if I had them?

Yes. But only if I got them in the way I wanted. Getting them just to say I have them doesn't really count. Sure, I could get knocked up and force a guy to marry me. But that's not really what I mean when I say that I want to have a husband and a baby.

I was talking to a friend of mine who is married. I asked her if she was happy she was married and glad that she did it. She said that she was. She loves being married to her husband. It's even better than she thought it would be. But then she added something. She said that she loves being married because she found the right guy. She would rather not be married and just be alone than be with the wrong guy.

So what have I learned in a year?

Not a whole lot.

Okay, that's not true. But if I am sitting here in the kitchen of this house writing this blog again a year from now, I might just fall into a pit of despair that I never crawl back out of.

A tad bit drastic? Maybe.

But it's true. Life is way too precious to be living it the way I have been.

Let's do this thing.

hot tub time machine

Last night was super fun.

I got to go to an advanced screening of Hot Tub Time Machine for free last night, in a fancy new theater where you actually get to pick your seats when you get your tickets (so that you can spend the time before the movie in the bar attached to the theater.) I had never seen a preview for the movie.

Why is that important? It meant that all the great scenes hadn't already been ruined for me. I love previews, but it sort of made me never want to see another preview again. To see a movie and have no idea what is going to happen is awesome.

motivation

My wonderful clients are the reason that I get out of bed in the morning...

... or at least why I got out of bed this morning, pulling myself away from the awesome dream I was having, because I stupidly agreed to take one of my clients at 9 in the morning.

thinking about people

This post is going to seem sort of depressing which is random because I'm actually in a really good mood (having just laughed at a really inappropriate video that my friend had posted on Facebook.)

But do you know what the nice part about being in a relationship is? Knowing that somebody out there cares about you and how you are doing. Knowing that you are on somebody's mind.

There are billions of people out there and it is entirely possible that not a single one of them is thinking about me right now.

If you are in a relationship, however, it is almost guaranteed that the other person will think about you tonight (maybe not positive thoughts, depending on the relationship) and you will matter to them.

Right now that thought doesn't bother me because I am feeling very connected to people- my friends and family and clients and the world. But times when I am sad and depressed- that thought can be a bit overwhelming.

compliments

I'm really bad at receiving compliments. I never know what to say and I usually just try to dismiss them. I am working on taking my best friend's advice and learning to just smile and say, "Thank you."

I received a really nice compliment this week. My friend Kevin brought his four-year-old son Alex with him to our volleyball games on Wednesday. Kevin and I live close to each other so we walk home together after the games. So Kevin and Alex and I were walking and I said goodnight and turned down the block towards my house.

After I left, Alex apparently turned to Kevin and said, "Oh Daddy, Nikki sure is beautiful."

How sweet is that?!

It might by my favorite compliment ever- especially because unlike guys my own age, I know that he wasn't saying it to try and get in my pants!

overheard on the el

So I was listening to two men on the train (who knew each other) greet each other and start discussing the tragic death of a seven-year-old girl who got shot in the head while riding her scooter down the sidewalk.

The men started by saying how awful this was. That's normal. Right? Right.

But then they went on to say that, "Shooting no seven-year-old doesn't make you a gangster."

And the other man agreed. He continued, "You can't just be across the street and closing your eyes and pullin' the trigger. You gotta go up to that fool and shoot him."

The other man added, "In my day, you went up to a man's house to kill him."

That's right. They had zero problem with the fact that people were shooting each other, just problems in the manner in which they did it.

I love this city??

word of the day

So everyday I get a "word of the day" email.

Occasionally I already know the word which makes me feel like a big smarty.

Otherwise I get to learn a new word (if I can actually remember it.)

My favorite part of the emails is that at the bottom they tell you the origin of the word. Knowing the origin usually helps me to remember the word by making me recognize the root word. Other times, like with one of this week's words, it is just really interesting:

solecism \SOL-uh-siz-uhm\, noun:

1. A nonstandard usage or grammatical construction; also, a minor blunder in speech.
2. A breach of good manners or etiquette.
3. Any inconsistency, mistake, or impropriety.

...

Solecism comes from Latin soloecismus, from Greek soloikizein, "to speak incorrectly," from soloikos, "speaking incorrectly," literally, "an inhabitant of Soloi," a city in ancient Cilicia where a dialect regarded as substandard was spoken.

Snap! Look at us coming up with a whole word to mock the way these people talk!

:)

Okay, seriously, is there any better feeling than your legs shaking/quivering after you go on a long run/ do stairs?

Hells yeah that was a serious workout!

Usually I only get to the point of shaking when I have a trainer to push me.

Let's see how happy I am tomorrow when the soreness has kicked in!

Nikki B- in list form

Twenty more things about me:

1) I hate the little frowny face emoticon. It makes me sad when I see it so I almost never use it.

2) I'm a pretty good shot with a gun.

3) I was a vegetarian for a few years starting when I went to massage school and learned that filet mignon (my fav) is actually the cow's psoas muscle. Seriously, up until that point I had thought that cows had these extra bits of "meat" attached to them. I didn't realize that we actually ate their muscles.

4. I find the smell of popcorn really overwhelming (like I might be allergic to it, sort of makes my throat close up) and it makes me a bit nauseated. I do, however, like eating it.

5. I'm kind of glad I went to Catholic school for 10 years and learned about the Bible. Comes in very handy on Jeopardy.

6. I like people who collect things.

7. Part of me believes that I will never get married.

8. My sister and I are learning all the countries and capitals of the world as our New Year's resolution. We learn about three a week which is very reasonable.

9. I think the smell of hard boiled eggs is the most disgusting thing in the world. Followed closely by tuna fish- but just the canned stuff, real tuna is fine.

10. I was talking to one of my clients who is Jewish and lived in Israel for a bunch of years. There is mandatory military service for both the men and women. So most people do the military service when they turn 18 and then go to college when they are done. I don't want to ever be in the military but I think this is a smart idea. I think it would be greatly beneficial for people to go out and live for a few years and then go to college so that they have a better idea of what they want to do with their lives. Or, I think there should be a second college that you can go to when you are 28. I suppose there is grad school, but that's not quite the same.

11. My favorite movie is Amelie.

12. I sneeze whenever I am in really bright sunlight. It is an actual medical phenomenon called "achoo syndrome."

13. I had my first kiss when we played Spin the Bottle in sixth grade. Heehee, that sort of makes it sound like it was a school activity. Nope, it was in a boy's basement.

14. Spring is my favorite season. Though I technically like summer better, but summer is too close to fall which is too close to winter. I like spring because it is as far from winter as you can get. The days just keep getting longer and longer. The world is being born.

15. I am, at this moment, drinking green tea out of a big cappuccino mug that has Elmer Fudd on it. It was a present to my mom from one of her students. I only like to drink tea out of big mugs.

16. I hate it when people don't leave voicemails and I won't call people back if they don't.

17. I've never died in my dreams. I think it is because I read somewhere that if you die in your dreams that you will die in real life and so I always wake myself up before I die.

18. I hate folding fitted sheets.

19. When I am feeling sick I will sing and dance in front of the bathroom mirror and I swear it boosts my immune system and makes me feel better.

20. I still wish on stars and won't tell people what I wish because I think that will make it not come true.

hand motions

It's weird the significance we, as a community, assign to things. I was thinking about this because I (of course, because who doesn't?) quoted a line from Shakespeare the other day. It was the line from Romeo and Juliet about biting thumbs.

GREGORY

I will frown as I pass by, and let them take it as
they list.

SAMPSON

Nay, as they dare. I will bite my thumb at them;
which is a disgrace to them, if they bear it.

Enter ABRAHAM and BALTHASAR

ABRAHAM

Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?

SAMPSON

I do bite my thumb, sir.

ABRAHAM

Do you bite your thumb at us, sir?

SAMPSON

[Aside to GREGORY] Is the law of our side, if I say
ay?

GREGORY

No.

SAMPSON

No, sir, I do not bite my thumb at you, sir, but I
bite my thumb, sir.

GREGORY

Do you quarrel, sir?

ABRAHAM

Quarrel sir! no, sir.

SAMPSON

If you do, sir, I am for you: I serve as good a man as you.

Which got me thinking about biting thumbs and how people really don't do that anymore. We do, however, flip the bird. Give the finger.

And a funny story about that... my mom is a teacher. But she is not always up on the hip lingo. Her students were waiting in a line in the hallway. One of the kids, upset, said to my mom, "Mrs. B, David just gave me the bird!" My mom, thinking it was some sort of object said, "Well, give it back to him!" Classic.

Here is your history lesson for the day:

The 100 Years War (which actually lasted 116 years) was a bloody war fought between the British and the French. This was the first war in which long range artillery was used, and the first deadly long range weapon to be invented was the longbow, which was invented by the British. The longbow had an effective accurate range of about 300 feet.
The longbowmen were not the most battle worthy men, as they were usually trained to shoot an arrow long distances, and not to fight with close range weapons. The longbow was used in an almost machine gun like fashion. The archer would stick all of his arrows in the ground in order to get to them quickly. He would grab an arrow and quickly shoot at the approaching army, then quickly reload and fire again. He would use his index and ring finger to draw and fire the bow. This was known as “plucking”, as it resembled plucking a stringed instrument.
The French hated the longbow. Whenever a longbowman was captured, the French would cut of their index and ring fingers, so they couldn’t fire their weapons, and hence be useless to the war.
The captured English prisoners returned with nothing left but their middle fingers, and in a short period of time learned to use their middle finger to draw their longbows, and “pluck” once again.
Before one battle, the French, knowing they had their opponent greatly outnumbered (around six to one), had a grand party the night before the battle was to begin. Realizing this, the English attacked early the next morning, surprising the French, and destroying their advantage. As the English realized their victory, they began their victory celebrations while still waging a victorious battle.
One of the most notable celebrations was the dancing and cheering done by the mutilated longbowmen. They would dance and skip around the dead and wounded Frenchmen, showing them their only remaining useful finger (their middle finger), and yelling (in a British accent), “Look! I still have me middle fingah! I can still pluck you!!! I can still pluck you!!!”
This phrase was later modified to something else we say when we give someone the finger…
So the next time someone gives you the finger and says what they normally say, correct them by saying, “Actually, the correct term is pluck you!”, and see what kind of results you get!
It is also because of the pheasant or goose feathers on the arrows used with the longbow that the symbolic gesture is known as "Giving the Bird."

is it here?

I just went for a walk outside without my winter coat on. This makes me so happy I could cry. :)

to sleep, perchance to dream

Do you know what is nice about being an adult? Doing whatever the heck I want! You know when you are a kid and you think, "Man! I can't wait to be an adult! I can have ice cream for breakfast and do whatever I want!"

Well, we were right... it rocks! I mean, sure sometimes it is a little scary. And you have all these decisions to make and responsibilities... but all in all, it is pretty darn awesome.

I am contemplating going to bed, right about now. Yup, 8:30 PM. It was a long day. Soccer yesterday plus tennis today kicked my butt. And since I am a grown-up and get to do whatever I want, that means that I will be going to bed.

By the way, sometimes it is nice not having kids because it really means that I can do whatever I want. If I had kids I would not have nearly this much freedom. Don't get me wrong, I am crazy jealous of my friends who already have kids, but this doesn't suck either.

Anyways, what I was thinking about when I was about to go to bed so early, was how kids hate having to go to bed early and they think they are missing out on stuff. Which of course made me think of one of the best Growing Pains episodes ever where Chrissy is allowed to stay up late so that her parents can prove to her that nothing exciting happens and of course that night EVERYTHING exciting happens, like a circus coming into their living room! That was a great show.

I want to be totally against TV but I have some really fond memories of TV from childhood and I like being able to bond with my peers over it.

Enough blabbering. Goodnight my lovelies.

daffodils

Good morning, world!

There is something about waking up to a fresh bunch of daffodils that just makes me smile.

Is it because my sweet sister surprised me by leaving them for me to find in my room? Yes, that's part of it.

Is it because they are one of the most majestically beautiful flowers of all times? Sure, that plays into it a bit too.

But I think the main reason that they make me smile is because they are a sure sign that spring is coming!

Daffodils are early bloomers. They are pretty much (along with tulips and crocuses) the first flowers to bloom in spring. And they do so with abundance. They are one of those flowers that actually comes back stronger year after year.

So to me they are a sign that spring and sunshine are just around the corner. That's a happy thought that is surely worthy of a smile.

cuss

It's not easy being an adult. You have to make all sorts of difficult decisions. Like, should I have wine on a Thursday night or not?

Turns out that the answer to that one is a resounding "yes!"

And should I blog away while drinking this wine?

Another yes.

Oka,y these disicions are getinin easier and easier.

Ha! I am so not drunk. I have only had about three sips, but I decided to not fix my errors that I made in that last sentence. I'm usually a much better typer. I swear.

Speaking of swear words... what is your favorite swear word?

I've never heard my dad swear. He thinks swearing is for ignorant people and comes up with fancy four-syllable words to use when he wants to insult someone.

I might be a little too lax about swearing. I do it often. Though never at work or inappropriate places. Except for that one time. I can't help it, I get worked up when I am playing games. And so I just might have happened to call Travis's mom a bitch. I didn't MEAN it. It was all in good fun. Everyone stopped and STARED at me! And then they all burst out laughing. It is just a reminder that no matter how drunk you are in a little hotel room in France and how worked up you get played Spit, you should never, ever, ever call your boyfriend's mom a bitch. Now you know.

My French host sister loved learning American slang. She would ask me questions all the time. Usually they were sayings from rap songs and I had no idea what they meant. It was the first time I had ever heard the term "jonesing" and I was embarrassed to tell her that I had no idea what it meant. It hadn't trickled it's way down to the middle-class whites yet. Now I could tell her that I am "jonesing to get back to France." Jones-in'. How on earth would you spell that? I don't know.

Anyways, Marion's favorite American swear term was "Fuck! Shit! Fuck!" Always those three words strung together. It was actually rather cute and endearing the way she said it.

My mom had a bit of a potty mouth on her as well.

My oldest sister's name was Chestra Jo Becker. We won't go in to that. Seriously. Chestra? What were they thinking??!

Remember when you were little and your parents used to use your whole name when they yelled at you? Well, Chestra was a bit of a trouble maker. And my mom used to yell at her a lot. She used to yell, "Damn it all, Chestra Jo!"

She yelled this so much, in fact, that my other sister Chris actually thought that "Damn it all, Chestra Jo" WAS Chestra's full name!

To this day it is still my favorite swear word/term. Even when what I am cussing about has absolutely nothing to do with my wonderful sister.

Hmmmmm.... so not to go totally off subject, but this might be the first time that I have ever even mentioned my sister Chestra in this blog. I don't call her Chestra by the way. I call her "Critter." It is sad when "critter" is a step up from your actual name!

She is wonderful, but is fourteen years older than me and has lived in a different state than me for almost all of my life that I can remember. So while I call her a sister, she seems like more of an aunt. I feel closer to her kids than I do to her.

Hmmm. This wine sure is going down easy. :)

Sometimes it seems weird to me that I am the youngest of six kids. You know why? Because when you are in a family of six kids, it doesn't seem like that many. It just seems normal. And I even wish that I had more brothers and sisters. And I like having my brother and sister as my roommates (most days.)

I feel so bad for people who don't get along with their families. I feel so bad it makes me want to swear.

See how I did that? How I brought it back to the topic of swearing? I call that the ol' "loop-de-loop."

I sure am a creative speller tonight.

(big yawn!) Perhaps that it is my sign that it is time to sign off.

What's your favorite cuss word? How often do you swear? Do people swear too much?

least productive day off ever

Got a whole lotta nothing done today. I did do a few things, like laundry and cleaning and grocery shopping, and watching Wife Swap. I know, I know. I couldn't help it, it was on when I turned on the tv and I got sucked in.

But like I said, I did some laundry. My house is FREEZING and hence I am always freezing and since I was washing my long underwear I was even extra freezing.

But I just went down and got my comforter directly out of the dryer.

It was so soft and warm and I wrapped it around me for a minute and let the heat wash over me.

You always think that would be nice, but it was soooo much better in real life. I don't know that I believe in angels but if I did, I'd like to imagine that that is what a hug from an angel feels like.

my friendly riding companion

So guess what I was doing today... you guessed it- riding on the el!

And at this one stop about twenty people were getting on so I put my bag on the floor and moved over to make some room.

A respectable looking middle aged black man came and sat next to me.

He thanked me for moving over and I smiled and said "no problem."

Mistake number one and two.

Never smile. Head nods are okay, actual words are not. They encourage people.

I can ignore jerks, but I find it really hard to ignore nice people when they are sitting two inches away from me and are trying to talk to me.

Dude: I like your hat.

Me: Thanks. (stare out the window)

(a couple of minutes later)

Dude: Do you ski?

(which I thought was really random since I was carrying a tennis bag)

Me: No.

(stare out the window)

(blah, blah, blah, talk about tennis, talk about me not being in school anymore, he thought I was 17 or 18 and I told him I was 30)

Dude: Do you have kids?

Me: No.

Dude: Oh, you don't want kids.

Me: Someday.

Dude: Someday? Girl, you better start soon. Your clock is tickin'. You don't got much longer."

(uh, suppressed sob)

Dude: I guess you could always adopt.

A lovely way to start the week.

lice

I don't know if I have posted about this before so I apologize if it is a repeat. I haven't even been blogging a year and I already might be repeating myself?! Yikes!

Do you know what one of my biggest fears is?

Getting lice.

I've never had it but the thought of it just creeps me out.

I had a dream that I had bugs on me the other night and I woke up and was freaking out, convinced that I could actually feel bugs on me.

That's the problem, once you start thinking about it, then it really does feel like there is a bug on you. Mental case.

I ride the train almost daily with the masses. The dirty, hygiene-phobic masses. And I am terrified that I am going to pick up some nastiness on the train.

But really my fear started my freshman year of high school. We had to take a swimming test and were given swimming caps to wear from the school. We also had to wear school issued swimsuits from the seventies that had lost most of their elastic. Let me tell you, that was fun.

Later that day I was in gym class. Since it was the first day of classes we do this thing where everybody in your gym period (say it was 7th period) gathers together in the field house on the bleachers. There are cones set up on the floor of the field house that say the name of a class, i.e. "square dancing" or "softball." The teachers call out "seniors" and the seniors all go running to line up behind the cone for the class that they want to take. Then juniors get to go and so on and so forth. Obviously the more popular classes fill up first (meaning the freshman get screwed.) And it is a crazy melee. Not really the safest thing ever either, but whatever.

However, I was waiting on the bleachers and didn't know anybody yet and was sitting by myself and this pair of awful mean sophomore girls was sitting behind me and they were whispering to each other (but a whisper that I was intended to hear) about how they could see bugs crawling in my hair and how I had lice.

And of course, once you hear that, you can FEEL the bugs crawling in your hair.

So I pretended to ignore them, but after school I went to the nurse's office to get checked out! Yeah, totally did NOT have lice (or any bugs for that matter) in my hair. What jerks!

It's kind of funny though. But that is what started my fear of getting lice.

needy

Massage therapists are some of the neediest people out there. You can argue that they are very giving and spend their whole days trying to make other people feel better. But the truth is, we need validation.

We do what we do because we like having people like us. And so if someone doesn't like us, we get really upset.

The thing is, not everybody is going to like you. It's just not possible.

There are all sorts of techniques and personalities out there. My style isn't going to work for every body type. Nor is it going to work for stupid people who are ticklish. (Down with ticklish people!)

I had three clients yesterday. Two of which absolutely loved me and were singing my praises. The third didn't say anything negative but I don't think she was really digging the massage.

That's the way it is. The people who love you are going to come back and become regulars. The other people will go on and try a different therapist.

But it is still rough because as a massage therapist you really want to please everybody. Rationally I know I can't do it, but damn it, I wish I could!