tuesday night love fest

Do you know what else I love?

Minnesotans.

They are just good people.

Who know how to drink.

I love seeing friends be brave and take on new and exciting and scary challenges! Quit your job! Be your own boss! Rock on!

I love giving presents that people really like.

I love macaroons from Vanille.

I love that tomorrow is the start of my birthday month.

I love that I only have three more days until I am on vacation AGAIN!

I love that my mom believes in me.

I love meeting new people and slowly peeling away the layers as I get to know them.

blogalicious

Do you know what I love about blogs? They are a tiny little window into a person's mind. Because it isn't something that they are forced to write. And it isn't them responded to a question. It is just someone writing whatever happens to be on their mind at that moment. In that way it is a lot more interesting and real than even getting an email from the person. An email is written with a specific person in mind and is geared towards them. I obviously write emails to my grandma and to my best friend very differently.

And there is a freedom in writing blogs. You can talk about whatever you want because nobody is FORCED to read it. You don't worry about annoying your friends and clogging up their facebook homepage. You can just ramble away.

I love pretty much everything about blogs.

Blogs. Blogs. Blogs.

Blogs make me happy.

making the move

Do you know why I'm glad I'm not a guy? Because I don't want to have to be the one to make the first move. That can't be easy.

And I think that is why there is a lot of confusion when it comes to beginning relationships. It's a lot easier to say, "Hey, do you want to hang out sometime?" rather than, "Would you like to go on a date with me?"

No wonder people then are wondering, "Does that person really like me? Are we just friends who are hanging out? Or are we something more?"

And then comes the pressure of making the first move. I miss the good ol' days of drunken college parties. Dance close to a boy all night and seven or eight beers in he is finally going to A) pick up on the hints that he should kiss you or B) be filled with liquid courage and forget that there is even a chance that you might not want to kiss him.

But can you imagine anything more awkward and painful then going in to try and kiss someone and getting rejected? Who wants to set themselves up for that kind of rejection?

I don't know anybody that has actually happened to. Do you? Which means that really we are afraid of something that most likely isn't going to happen.

So why, if it isn't all that scary, and the actual possibility of getting rejected is so low, don't I make the first move?

Well, quite frankly, because I don't want to. I want to be with a boy who is crazy about me and who wants to kiss me so badly that he can't stand it. Is that so much to ask? Perhaps my old-fashionedness will be my downfall. I could use a little kissing.

As Rhett Butler said, "No, I don't think I will kiss you, although you need kissing, badly. That's what's wrong with you. You should be kissed and often, and by someone who knows how. "

those crazy Brazilians!

Am I the last one to hear about this new Brazilian dance craze? It is called "Surra de Bundan" and it involves a man sitting on the floor with his legs out in front of him. A woman dances around him for a little bit and then basically gets into a push up position with her hands on his ankles and her ankles up on his shoulders. She then proceeds to slam her ass into his face.

WHAT?!?! It actually looks like a hell of a workout for the girl and sort of painful for the guy.

Back in my day we had the Butterfly and the Tootsie Roll which were forbidden at school dances! I can only imagine if someone had tried to bust out with this!

so wrong

Do you ever just get a song stuck in your head? And it won't go away? And have you ever noticed that for some reason this never happens with GOOD songs?

I just realized that I have been humming the song "YMCA" out loud as I was reading things on the internet this morning.

Please, leave my head! I'll even get up and do the damn dance if you will just promise to get out of my head!

break-ups

Break-ups are really hard. It's been awhile since I've had one but last night made me think about it.

Why are break-ups so hard? First of all, they are scary. You might not be perfectly happy in your relationship but there is still comfort in it. When you break-up you get flung back out into the unknown. There is the fear that you will not find someone new. There is the fear that you will be alone. Forever. Which, while you sanely know that won't be the case, it is still a fear at the back of your mind.

As my life coach once said to me when I was really upset about a break-up, "It isn't just the end of a relationship, it's the end of a dream." You have all sorts of plans and hopes that go along with a relationship. You have this vision of a life that you will have together and it can be hard to give up that dream (no matter what the actual reality of the relationship is.)

And I think one of the hardest parts of break-ups for me is that you aren't just breaking up with the boy, you are breaking up with his friends and family as well. Which doesn't always have to be the case, but usually is.

Last night I got to hang out with Beanie and Maggie, two of my ex-boyfriend's sisters. I love them. I don't love them because they are my ex's sisters. I love them because they are funny and amazing people. Whom I never get to hang out with anymore. It is sad when I hear about these events and parties that I no longer get invited to (like their babies' christenings) that I would have totally been invited to if I was still dating their brother. I'm not really complaining. I think family should trump friends. But I'm just saying that for me, that is the hardest part about break-ups.

bummer

So I did NOT make it into the finals for the "Month at the Museum" competition that the Museum of Science and Industry had. They are choosing one lucky person to spend 30 days (and nights) inside the Museum and blog about it. My dreams of living in a museum (well, legally, at least) have been dashed!

volunteering

I was talking to my client today who is a regular client and is also a client who has cancer so I see her when I give volunteer massages. She just got re-diagnosed with a brain tumor.

She asked me today why I like giving cancer massages.

Which really, is the question, "Why do people like to volunteer?"

Part of it is that my mom has had cancer twice and I feel guilty that I didn't do enough while she was going through it. This is my way of giving back to cancer sufferers now.

Part of it is that it is what I can do. I can't donate large amounts of money to fund cancer research. I mean, I can barely even pay my bills. But this is something that I CAN do. Not something that everyone can do. But something that I can do.

Part of it is just wanting to create more positive energy in the world. Call me a hippie. Whatever. I think that the more positive acts that occur, the better the world becomes for all of us.

I tried to explain that when I see people who are dealing with such negative things, such things that are so much bigger than what I am dealing with, that my petty little problems seem like nothing. I like to give cancer massages because it gives me perspective.


You often hear about people who "get more than they give" when it comes to volunteering. Why is that? I believe it is true but I can't exactly explain it.

I don't volunteer so that other people will think I am a good person (then why am I writing about it on my blog?!?) I do it because it is a positive thing that gives me hope about the world. I do it because I like to see people happy and I like to see their lives improving.

We all want to live in a world where people are so nice and go out of their way to help others... but how often do WE go out of our way to help others? Be the change.

We need to step it up. What if people (and I mean EVERYONE) volunteered three hours of their time every week? What an amazing difference could we make?!?

We, as a people, can do so much more than we are currently doing. Let's step it up.

yearbook

My mom, while cleaning out my grandma's old house, stumbled across her high school yearbook from 1960. My mom went to a small Catholic all-girl high school in Illinois. She wanted to throw it out but it is way too priceless to let her do that!

How things have changed since 1960!



These were some of the nuns that taught there. Check out how even little things like nuns habits have changed since then!



I think more than anything what I found amusing were the captions. Things that would NEVER get said in this day and age!



This one is a little harder to read. It says, "What's in the oven, girls? Mmmmm. Watch those calories!" Wow.

My mom was also telling me how she had to get special permission to take some extra classes because at the time they didn't think girls could handle a heavy workload!

patience

Do you ever work out for one week or diet for two days and wonder why you are not suddenly magically skinny?

great idea

Do you ever just want to round up all your friends and family and move them to someplace where the weather DOESN'T suck??

Because there is no way I would be choosing to live in either Chicago, Minnesota or Detroit if it weren't for those wonderful people.

Let's all just get together and agree to move to southern California, deal?

tired

There are two kinds of tired. Emotionally/mentally tired and physically tired. Last night I was a bit of both.

What an intense day!

It started when I went running in the morning. I jogged over to the park to do my sprints and there was a teenage boy who was also doing his sprints on the soccer field. We both had our headphones in. Neither of us said a word but he looked at me, I looked back at him, our eyes narrowed and it was on! We raced each other a handful of times. Granted, he gave me about a two second head start and he beat me every time, but I made him WORK for it!

Of course later my body was like, "What the hell, we NEVER run that fast! We want to shut down now!"

Then my afternoon was filled with volunteering, giving massages to women with cancer. I've been doing this off and on (but let's be honest, mostly off) for eight years now. And you never know what your client is going to be like. Sometimes they are practically healthy. Sometimes they are in a bad way.

My first client just had a double mastectomy two weeks ago. So no laying face down. I told her that we could put her in side-lying position since her back could use some work. I said that I would just need to go get a few more pillows and admitted that I was a little bit rusty with side-lying but we could figure it out. We decided to skip side-lying and do the ENTIRE massage face up. Though skipping any work near the chest.

So I get back in the room after she gets on the table and she made some snotty comment about how I obviously didn't have any experience working with cancer patients. Okay, maybe she said it a little bit nicer than that but I got a little offended. I explained to her that I have plenty of experience working with cancer patients but side-lying work is mostly done for pre-natal massages which I don't do.

Once we finally got started the massage went great. She was in good spirits, joking about how she was looking forward to her hair falling out because she doesn't like the color it is currently dyed.

Then I had my second client. Who on top of having breast cancer also has ALS. Now you would think considering that she has been to the spa four times before that at least ONE of the other therapists would have made mention (in our notes) of the fact that my client couldn't speak! That would be a very helpful thing to know when meeting a client! Right?!?

But they just wrote, "Did a full body massage, skipped her neck per her request. Gentle pressure."

So I was not at all prepared when I met this client. She looked like your typical well-to-do 60-something client. My first clue however was when she asked me if I could unbutton her shorts for her. She was having trouble with the button.

Then I asked her if she was ready to get started (she was running a bit late) and she shook her head no and grunted and gestured to the spa area. This really could have meant several things such as "I'm going to go sit in the hot tub for a bit" or "I am going to go use the washroom." Well, it turns out that it meant, "I am going to go sit down and eat some apple sauce."

Okay. I learned a long time ago that it is best to just go with it. A few minutes later she comes back and I take her into the room. I asked her if there was anything that needed extra attention and she pointed to her lowback. And anything I needed to avoid and she pointed to her neck.

Then she pointed at the fan. I asked her if she wanted me to turn it on. She said no. And then she started touching her palm. I asked if she wanted me to do extra work to her hands. She shook her head no. I asked if she wanted me to avoid them. She shook her head no. She then started doing a bunch of hand signals. On the second go round I finally figured out that she was making letters. She made an "h" then an "e" then an "a" and I jumped in and said, "you want me to work your head?" She shook her head and continued with a "t." Ahhh! Heat! "You want me to turn the heater on?" Yes! Yeah!!!

Wow. The majority of my work is done in silence but the communication that I do have with my clients is sooooo important. And looking at this woman, she could have been my mom or one of my friend's moms. How frustrating must it be to her to not be able to communicate?!? How tired must SHE be at the end of the day?

pic of the day

I love the internet for all the information it gives us access to. And because it let's me see stuff like this...

who do you look like?

Who do you look like? Do you have a famous actor as a doppelganger?

What I find most interesting is that most people get annoyed if you say that they look like someone. Probably because they hear it ALL the time. Or, if they are like me, it is usually someone sort of unattractive that they get compared to! Though I did have one client, bless her blind heart, tell me that I looked like Julia Roberts.

For me it also depends how tan I am. When I am tan I will get told that I look like J-Lo. When I am pasty I will get told that I look like Kate Winslet. The interesting thing is that you would never say that Kate Winslet and J-Lo looked like each other!

Anyways, I had someone tell me yesterday that I looked like an actress in Nanny McPhee.

My first thought was that they meant Emma Thompson's character...



... and my second thought was, "Screw you!" :)

But then I realized that they were talking about Kelly Macdonald's character...







... and oh my god! She really does look like me! At least in profile! I usually can't see it but this one I can!

when will I learn?

I read somewhere that the definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and expecting different results.

This doesn't bode well for me.

Because I will read an article online and then I will continue to read the reader comments underneath it. Even though I KNOW that reading those comments makes me upset every time. So why do I do it?

And my question is this- are those reader comments an actual representation of the general population? (please say "no", please say "no!") Or do only racist, homophobic, narrow-minded jerks write comments after those articles?

To give you an example, this morning I read an article about how eight people died at an off-road racing event in California when a truck went off the road after a jump and struck some bystanders. What would you expect to see in the comment section? Would you expect someone to write, "Eight less rednecks. Guess the sales of pork rinds are going to go down in that area."???

Are our hearts and minds so fully saturated, are we immune to violence and tragedy? I refuse to believe that. I also refuse to read any more reader comments!

flood

There are some things that I just can't wrap my head around.

Sure, I knew that there was some flooding in Pakistan.

But did you realize that there are now over 20 million homeless because of the flooding?!?

That's like having the entire city of Chicago be homeless!

It's like having the entire state of Illinois be homeless!

It's like having almost the entire states of Illinois AND Ohio be homeless!

Holy crap!

Makes a little leak in my roof not seem so bad anymore!

Those poor people! Let's send them some love, eh?

first comes love then comes marriage...

My friend totally called me out the other day. He said that half the time I talk about how much I want to get married and have kids. Which I TOTALLY do.

The other half of the time I talk about how nice it is to be single and how I've really started to like being single and find it hard to imagine ever dating again.

So which is it?

Both.

First of all, it depends who I have been talking to and hanging around with that day. If I am around my happily married friends and family it really triggers that biological clock. When I am around people who aren't overly happy in their marriages, I feel pretty happy to be single. I don't have to put up with anybody else's mood swings and attitudes. I can do exactly what I want, when I want. That's sort of heavenly.

But I do want kids. Which means that I do have to start dating again at some point. But I want my married readers to think about what if (heaven forbid!) they got divorced and had to start all over again.

Are you thinking about that?? It's daunting! Just the idea of finding someone new and having to learn all their quirks and faults and share with them all of your quirks and faults. Why, that just sounds exhausting!

Which is where hormones and falling in love come in.

When you find someone that you really like something takes place in your brain and suddenly the idea of getting to know all about someone and sharing everything with someone seems fun and exciting instead of exhausting.

But until you meet that someone and start falling for them, it just sounds like work. You want me to email someone three times a day? I don't have time for that! Unless, of course, he has a great smile and amazing biceps and then suddenly it's no problem!

And this is why I seem so wishy-washy.

dating etiquette

Why are guys so dumb?

And that's not a rhetorical question. I really want to know.

My sister might kill me for posting about this but she told me a story this morning that made me laugh and laugh.

She went on a date with this guy via eharmony. She wasn't in love but she decided that she would definitely go on a second date with him if he asked.

And then she never heard from him.

After three weeks she deleted him from her "connections" on eharmony.

Later that day he sent her an email and was like, "I see that you closed our connection, I guess that means I shouldn't call you for another date."

Really? REALLY?!?

I don't know the guy, so was he just being unnecessarily sarcastic? Or did he really think it was appropriate to wait more than three weeks after their first date to call her?

Quite frankly, if a guy doesn't contact me within three days of our first date, I am going to give him the old heave-ho.

Ah dating! It's so much fun! :)

stand up

Did I mention that we had a seventeen year old girl living with us for the past two weeks? Her name was Allison and she was great.

I was a little worried at first. The last time I lived with a teenager, I was a teenager. But she was helpful and friendly and despite her tendency to respond to every single question with sarcasm, was actually quite fun to be around.

I was also worried because she is from a small town in southern Georgia and was going to be riding the el by herself. We gave her some pointers and went with her the first day and then sent her off into the wild unknown. She was a trooper and sailed through with flying colors and surprisingly no horror stories.

She was in town to take a two-week class at Second City, learning to do improv and sketch. At the end of the two weeks the kids put on a show for friends and family.

Her show was great. I mean, sure, some of it bombed, but most of it was actually pretty darn funny.

But then we stuck around to watch the other group of teenagers perform stand-up.

Oh my gosh!

They were so nervous. All alone on the stage. Squinting into the bright lights. Fumbling with the microphone as they tried to adjust it to their height. Inevitably getting their feet tangled in the cord. Pulling their notecards out of their pockets to have just in case they forgot what they were going to say. I'm not sure who was more nervous, them or me (being nervous for them!)

Teenagers are so little.

And they were so brave to get up there in front of all those people.

Most people have problems with public speaking but public speaking is nothing compared to having to get up and have all those eyes on you and have to be funny.

Some of the kids just bombed. Thank goodness we were a very friendly audience that was laughing at the jokes even when they weren't funny. Because of lot of them were not funny.

A few of the kids were hilarious. I have the feeling that some day I will be able to say, "I saw him perform at Second City when he was just a teenager!"

The best part, however, was that since there were a lot of younger kids around, the material had to be age appropriate.

So I know what you are thinking, what do teenage boys do stand-up routines about?

Video games. I don't even have words to tell you how adorable it was to see them do stand-up about video games.

Way to go you crazy, brave teenagers! You totally made my week!

the sky!

Alright people, I'm warning you now that I am in one of those obnoxiously happy moods where I look around the world and am amazed at everything I see.

I was riding the el home today and I had already finished my crossword and sudoku and I still had time to spare (because I am a super genius! booyah! that's right newspaper, I kicked your ass!) and so I started staring out the window.

And it just came over me, the realization of how lucky we are to live on this planet! Because- check out the sky! The sky is amazing. And not only that, but it changes every single day!

Can you imagine if we were stuck on a planet that just had a gray, overcast sky every day? It's called Chicago in winter, and let me tell you, people start to get a little cranky after a couple weeks of that!

But no, we get clouds and sunshine and sunrises and sunsets and stars and different shades of blue. Let's give it up for the sky!

Yeah sky! I love you.

don't read this

I am warning you now, you don't want to read this post.

Trust me, you don't.

You are still reading? Well, don't say I didn't warn you...

We have some visitors in town, staying with us for a few days. Alan is an opthamologist. He is also in the Air Force reserves and has served some time overseas.

We were talking about some of the "interesting" things he has seen.

Again, stop reading this, you don't want to know about this...

When he was in Saudi Arabia they had a bit of a problem with Sheep Bot Flies.

Do you want to know what sheep bot flies do?

You don't.

I wish I didn't know.

They fly into your eye and deposit their larvae!

And then Alan has to take his tweezers and a big magnifying glass and individually remove all of the little larvae from your eyes!

I was going to post a picture of this but it grossed me out so much that I couldn't do it.

I told you that you didn't want to know. Yeck!

don't be insulted

There are certain phrases that you should never begin a conversation with, such as "Don't take this the wrong way..." or "I don't mean to be rude but..."

Yesterday a woman sitting behind me on the el tapped me on the shoulder.

I turned around and she said, "Excuse me, can I tell you something? But I don't want you to be insulted..."

Oh brother! How can that sentence lead to anything good?

But my curiosity got the better of me so I said, "Sure."

And she responds, "The Lord loves you very much. He knows and He cares."

Well, that was a LOT better than what I expected her to say! And that was coming from a place of love so I said, "Thank you," and started to turn back around.

She said that some people get insulted when they hear that but she just wanted me to know.

My question is if she says that to everyone? Did she just have a powerful vision and really see how much the Lord loves me? Did I have an upset look on my face and did she think I needed comfort?

I was not insulted. Mainly I was just relieved that she wasn't telling me that I had bird poop on the back of my shirt, which is what my first thought was.

high heels

I want to wear high heels. I do.

As my friend quoted to me the other night, "Flats are for quitters."

I can give you all sorts of reasons why I don't wear high heels. They are uncomfortable for my wider feet, there is a much greater chance that I will re-sprain an ankle in them, they are bad for your body alignment (but keep wearing them girls because they are great for my business!), I have to walk a couple of miles daily to get to and from work, and I have to go through some seedy areas where I want to be able to protect myself by being able to either run or fight someone at a moment's notice. I just feel safer in flat shoes.

That being said, I wish I was one of those cute girls wearing high heels. I'm always amazed when I see people wear high heels. Even more amazed if their faces aren't contorted into a rictus of pain.

I often wonder how people can do it. And for some of the people I know their trick... they don't walk in them. They walk to their car/taxi, get in, and arrive right at their destination. Even I could do that in heels. My friend and I had to park two measly blocks away from our destination the other day and she was complaining because her shoes were uncomfortable to walk in. How does she get around all day?

But other people DO walk in them. I was at a concert on Monday night when my friends and I saw a girl in three-inch heels. And not just heels, but stilettos. My friends and I all looked at each other and started laughing saying "She's gonna regret that by the end of the night!"

But by the end of the night, she was still going strong, laughing and smiling and dancing up a storm. I would have been hobbled, sprawled in a corner applying neosporin to my blisters. More power to her! Of course, she did have the benefit of being completely wasted. I'd like to see how her feet and body were doing the next morning! Then again, I've heard that some people's feet were just designed to wear heels (like Carrie Bradshaw!) which makes sense because there are some people whose feet are designed to never wear heels (like me!)

Pictionary

I love board games.

I don't need a reason to play, just an opportunity.

And I don't mean to brag, but I am pretty good at them.

There is one game in particular that I love and that I rock at... Pictionary.

For those of you who live under a rock, Pictionary is a game where you read a clue (usually one word) and then have a limited amount of time to draw it.

What I've learned over the years is that people with artistic abilities often kind of suck at this game. Why? Because they spend way too much time with their drawings. They actually want what they are drawing to look like what they are trying to draw. I know better. I know that if I draw a blob with a little thing dangling off the lower right side that everyone will guess "The United States!" It's like this game was made for people like me who can only draw stick figures.

I'm good at this game in general but my sister Sam and I have this weird sister connection. It only comes out in Picitonary. But for some reasons it is like our minds meld into one and I know what she is trying to draw before her pen hits the paper. Our family recognized this a long time ago and now forbids us to be partners when we play.

Our new family friend Allison had never seen us play and nothing we said could convince her that we weren't cheating.


Cheating? Us?!? Heavens, no! I mean, obviously everyone could tell that this is "Galileo." I mean, what else could it possibly be. Soooo obvious.






And this one took me a little longer than usual but it is obviously "kidnapped."

If only Win, Lose or Draw was still on TV so that my sister and I could use our amazing talent to actually win some money!

writing style

I wonder how hard it is to change one's writing style/voice?

Whenever I read a particularly well-written book I think about how I should change my writing to sound more enjoyable, to sound more like the author that I am reading that day.

I'll be honest, I don't put that much time and energy into these posts. I sit down and write and just let it flow and very, very rarely do I edit. Some of my friends write beautiful blog posts but since they put a couple of hours into each post, that means they rarely find the time to post, maybe two a month.

I'm not going to change my style because this is me and it's better to be me (flawed as I am) than a copy of someone else. Though, perhaps I could use a few more descriptors. A well-constructed sentence can be such a pleasure to read. A few of those wouldn't hurt. We'll see.

I write like I talk. Simple. To the point.

I think this is a direct result of having to (or rather trying to) read Madame Bovary in French in college. It's not a bad book. But it is one of those books that takes two paragraphs to tell you that there is a vase sitting on the table.

Here is one quick example...
"To reach the nurse's house, they had to turn left at the end of the road, as though going to the cemetery, and follow, between small houses and backyards, a little path bordered with privet. It was in flower, and so were the veronica, the eglantines, the nettle and the young brambles that sprang out of the bushes. Through the hole in the hedge, they could see, around the hovels, a pig asleep in the sun on a dunghill, or cows with their wooden collars, rubbing their horns against the tree-trunks. Together, side by side, they strolled along, she leaning on his arm and he slowing his stride to the measure of hers; ahead of them, a swarm of flies drifted along, humming in the warm air."

Now imagine trying to read that in French. You end up looking up about every third word, because believe it or not, "eglantines" and "dunghill" are not your typical third-year French vocabulary words.

After taking fifteen minutes to read just one page, I began to pray for a simple sentence or two. I believe that is a big reason why I write in simple sentences now, even when writing in English instead of French.

to ponder...

Do I get hit on/ flirted with more when I wear a skirt because I just look cuter and more feminine when I am in a skirt?

Or do I get hit on more when wearing a skirt because I FEEL cuter and as a result project that cute/sexy image more?

good book

There are two types of good book... the kind that you can't put down... and the kind that you KEEP putting down because you want to savor it and don't want it to be over yet so you try to make it last as long as possible!