just sending it out there...

thank you for
this perfect,
perfect
day

rearranging furniture

Oh, that is SO much better.

I don't know anything about feng shui. All I know is that the stupid sideboard in the dining room has been annoying me since it got moved in here. I didn't realize just how much it bothered me though until I finally moved it this morning (it's friggin' heavy! fyi) and now my soul just feels lighter.

Not to mention that moving furniture makes you end up doing some deep cleaning which is good (for the house and the mind) too.

They say that your space is a reflection of yourself. So what does it say about me that I've been sitting here for months with a room arrangement that bothered me but that I was too lazy to do anything about?

Wow, that is soooo me. If something isn't that bad and isn't a huge deal, I feel no need to really do something about it.

But the little action of moving the sideboard- taking action and changing things- actually made a huge difference in the room and in my mood.

Imagine if I took that sort of action with everything in my life? I'm pretty happy right now but how happy could I be?

changes/ improvements

Who is this new 31-year old Nikki? I feel like I don't even know her! Guess what I did last night? I watched the Bears game!

That, in and of itself, isn't that amazing. I've watched hundreds of football games in my life. What is amazing is that I watched it by myself. I came home from work, wasn't tired and needed something to do before bed and decided, "I think I'll go watch the Bears game." I had full control of the TV and that is what I chose to watch. On purpose. That might be a first in all of history!

Of course, if all football games were as exciting as the last quarter (which is all I caught) of the Bears vs. Packers game last night, I would watch football ALL the time! (I know, I know, this coming from a girl who actually enjoys watching soccer, possibly the most mind-numbingly-boring sport for non-players to watch) What amuses me even more (watching myself from an outsider's prospective) is that I even got really into it... yelling at the TV and at that smug little Aaron Rodgers!

Good times.

I wonder what other changes are gonna happen this year?

I think I know what the next one is going to be... I think I am going to become a phone person. I use my phone for normal things- to call and make appointments, to order food, that sort of thing- but I'm not a big phone talker. I don't chit-chat much. The only two people that I really talk to on the phone are my mom and my best friend- and I talk to them ALL the time so I know that I am CAPABLE of talking on the phone. So let's do it. Go ahead and call me, world. I'll actually pick up. We can chat.

snippets

What to write about today? I have an hour to kill before going to work and I have to write about something because my other option is cleaning the house. I'd much rather ramble and put out a sub-par blog post than get out the mop and attack the bathroom floor. Besides, I don't want to get covered in dust or smell all cleaning-chemically when giving my massages later. Yup, that's the excuse I am going with anyways!

Here are the things I have been thinking about:

So I think I am going to start dating again for real. I've been taking a break from dating for a while now. Which was great. It was much needed. I feel über confident in myself and who I am because I finally took the time to be by myself. That was great. But I think it is time for me to jump back in. With both feet. And just open up and do it.

So starting Oct 1st I will be available. Come and get me, boys! Why October 1st? Oh, I shouldn't admit this... not even to you, my lovely blog readers... but it's because my horoscope said that would be a good time for starting relationships! That's as good a time as any, right?

I'm kind of starting to look forward to it... to being courted and wooed. Receiving cute text messages. Being covered in kisses. All that good stuff.

No more crushing on boys that aren't really interested. I want to find a boy who is as crazy about me as I am about him. That shouldn't be so hard, right?

Heeheehee. If only it were that simple.

What else can I tell you?

My siblings gave me a crap load of good wine for my birthday... but then made sure to tell me that they DO also like me when I am sober, that it wasn't some sort of hint.

I'm pretty excited about fall being here because it makes for EXCELLENT sleeping weather. Cuddle. Cuddle. Cuddle.

I'm pretty not excited about fall being here because it is COLD! And it is hard enough to play soccer normally but when I can't breath because of my allergies it really ups the difficulty.

How hard must it be for Jamie Lee Curtis having everyone know you were born a hermaphradite? Much better to just have it out there and have people say, "Wow!" and then get over it than try to hide it as some sort of big secret your whole life, though.

And what else?

Hot chocolate sounds REALLY good right now. But it gives me weird breath so I will put off that craving until after I have my clients.

Wow, my standards for blog posts has really gone downhill now that I have hit 31. Sorry about that, guys!

massage pet peeves

I'm fairly laid back. When I'm in a good mood, pretty much everything rolls off of me. When I'm in a bad mood, not so much. But for the most part it does.

Especially at work I tend to roll with the punches and have infinite patient with my clients. They are paying me to be nice to them. I will be nice to them, no matter how annoying they are. I pride myself on my client handling skills.

But yesterday I had a client who was driving me nuts. She was jumpy. I understand that some people are a little uncomfortable the first time or two that they get a massage. I can cut them a break. But she has had at least 15 massages. And every single therapist has noted that she is jumpy. And I can understand that some people are ticklish- which again is annoying, but I can at least understand that a little bit. This woman was not ticklish.

There are certain things that you do to help clients not be jumpy... you start with your hand in a very neutral area like the top of the shoulders and then move it from there and you maintain constant contact with the client's body... no jumping around and moving your hand from their shin to their low back. And you go at a slow and even pace. No surprises. No REASON for a damn client to be jumpy! I mean, really? Why are you freaking out when my hand touches your back? Is it a surprise?!? I don't think so... you came in and are PAYING me to put my hand on your back, dumbass!

There is no reason for it to annoy me as much as it does, other than that it stops me from giving a really great massage. And when I get annoyed I just remind myself that I have no idea what is going on in this client's mind or in her life... she may have been abused, it might have taken her years to even get to this point where she could let someone else touch her.

Or she might just be annoying and stupid, but I will give her the benefit of the doubt just in case.

pole dancing revisited

My sister was telling me that a woman in her book club signed up for pole dancing classes.

This isn't that unheard of, I mean, even MY uncoordinated ass has tried it.

There are many classes offered throughout the city... What makes this new class different is that it is CO-ED!!!

And so my question is this... what kind of guys sign up to take co-ed pole dancing classes? Skeevy perverts? Gay guys? Normal dudes just looking to meet a "nice" girl?" Is it the new hip thing for married couples?

I am just having a hard time imagining this.

Libra

I'm going to get all hippy on you for a moment and talk about Zodiac signs.

I was born on September 23rd (tomorrow! yeah!) and different horoscopes list me as different signs. Some say that Sept 23rd falls under Virgo. Some say it falls under Libra.

But I know that I am a Libra.

There are certain personality traits associated with each sign of the Zodiac. I don't know that they are really true for everyone. How could they be? But for me it is 100% spot on.

This is what they (the wonderful people on the internet) say about Libras: (I've put in bold the things that really resonate with me)

Libra is the seventh sign of the zodiac and is represented by the scales. Libra is the only sign that is not represented by a human or animal, but the scales signify the Libra's need for balance, order, and equality. Many astrologers view Libra as the most enviable sign because it occurs during the peak of the year when the rewards of hard work are harvested.

Libras are very easy to like because of their charming ways. They are capable of making anyone feel interesting and important. They are great listeners, but they also expect you to listen to them in return. They have great observation skills and very good perception. They strive to bond with others and Libras are at their best when in personal relationships.

Appreciators of Beauty
Because Venus, the goddess of love, rules Libras, they appreciate beauty in anything, whether it is a person, art, or music. Because Libras love and appreciate beauty, their homes are often filled with exquisite and attractive items. They enjoy owning the best money can buy and take pride in their good taste. Because of their affection for beauty, Libras make great designers, artists, and musicians.


Sensitive
Libras are very charming, but part of their charm is in their sensitivity to others. They are great at seeing and delivering what other people need to pick them up. They dislike cruelty, nastiness, and vulgarity, as they are naturally gentle and loving people. Born diplomats, they often try to settle conflicts between people as this upsets them to see clashes occur. Libras themselves try to cooperate and compromise with everyone around them to help create a tranquil atmosphere.


The sensitivity Libras possess helps them be aware of not only their position on a subject, but also that of others. This along with their listening skills and willingness to compromise makes for great relationships. Even if a Libra does fight with a mate, their charisma and kindness always helps smooth things over. Because Libra is the most empathetic of all signs, the spouse of a Libra will always feel like his or her feelings are understood.

Weaknesses
With all their caring and kind ways, it may be hard to imagine Libras as having negative aspects to their personality, but as with all other signs, they can. Libras do not handle criticism very well, which often makes them seem insecure. But one of their biggest faults is the need for admiration. They like to be the center of attention and be praised for things they do, so some may see them as self-centered.

Because a Libra values beauty so much, they may sometimes become too focused on outward beauty and forget to look deeper into a person's full character.

Because they are so understanding of other's feelings, they may be seen as indecisive or unable to make up their minds. Any sign as blessed with charm as Libras are can always be seen as flirtatious.

Parts of the Body Ruled by Libra
Lower back, buttocks, and kidneys - Libras may suffer from problems in the lumbar area and may be prone to kidney infections and kidney stones.


Famous Librans

Actors/Entertainers
Michael Douglas
Susan Sarandon
Angela Lansbury
Carrie Fisher
Matt Damon

Musicians/Singers
Sting
John Lennon
Chuck Berry
Luciano Pavarotti

Artists/Writers
T.S. Elliot
Truman Copote
E.E. Cummings (my favorite poet!)
Friedrich Nietzsche

Leaders/Politicians
Mahatma Gandhi
Jesse Jackson
Margaret Thatcher
Dwight Eisenhower
Jess Helms

Libras are one of the most admired signs in the zodiac because of their kindness and compassion towards others. They make wonderful friends and great lovers who make you feel loved and appreciated.



If I were to get another tattoo it would probably be the Chinese character for Balance.

Balance. Harmony. Zen. Peace.

I feel so unsettled when things are out of balance in my life. If I am fighting with someone it eats me up inside.

And one of the hardest things for me is to pick a point of view and defend it. Because I can not only see both sides to something... I can usually see about seven or eight sides to a situation!

Balance. Balance. Balance.

Not only is my sign all about balance but I am also born on the Autumn equinox- the day of the year when the world is perfectly balanced between equal amounts of day and night.

I have the feeling this is going to be a good year for me. A balanced year. Lots of work. But also lots of play. How can people be sad about getting older when life just keeps getting better?!? :)

pity party

I hate it when people cancel plans at the last minute. I hate it even more when that person is me.

I spent all afternoon trying to convince my body that it is my birthday week and that I, therefore, can NOT be sick but my stomach was having none of it. I've been feeling queasy all afternoon.

I'm blaming it on my lunch. I had a Lean Cuisine pizza which was so bad that it doesn't even deserve to be called pizza. They should just call it cardboard with pizza toppings. It was either that or the milk I drank. I don't THINK the milk was bad. It shouldn't be bad. But it was chocolate milk so I can't just do a sniff test because it just smelled chocolatey!

I kept thinking that I would start feeling better, but no, I had to tell my friends that I was lame and would not be making it out tonight.

I also kept thinking that if I just puked that I would probably feel a million times better. Which makes me wonder, do other people hate puking as much as I do? I will go to the ends of the earth to avoid puking.

But that reminds me of a client I used to have. Good ol' Larry. Larry hates toilets. Dirty toilets just disgust him. So one night he went out to the bar and got HAMMERED. He puked as he was leaving the bar and once more on the way home. He got to his apartment and what did he do? He got out his cleaning products so that he could clean his toilet before he puked in it!

That still cracks me up.

Send some healthy vibes my way, won't you? This belly ache is no fun at all.

overkill

Sometimes I get a little embarrassed when I realize that I just sent someone an email and EVERY single sentence ended with an exclamation point.

I couldn't help it. I was really excited.

Perhaps I need to tone it down a bit.

Or find better ways to express my enthusiasm. So I don't end up looking like a third grader who just discovered punctuation.

theater

I'm super lucky to live in Chicago. We are a theater kind of town. All the best improv comedians come through here. (Some of the NOT-so-best improv comedians ALSO come through here.) Big shows like Wicked or Phantom of the Opera come here straight from Broadway. I like going to those.

But I also love checking out the little theaters. The little shows that people don't get paid a lot of money to be in and instead do it simply because they love it.

I saw a show on Friday that was put on by the Redmoon Theater. They put on shows all over the city, in parks, at the lakefront, at Navy Pier. Why do they do this? Most likely because the location of their real theater is a pain in the ass to get to and is in a bad part of town. But it gives them the opportunity to be really artsy and creative and use different venues to the fullest.

Friday's show was called The Astronaut's Birthday and was at the Museum of Contemporary Art. Or should I say it was outside of the MCA. There were some bleachers set up in front of the museum so that you sat staring at the front of the museum. We were lucky, we got seats. A lot of people just had to sit on the sidewalk. They aren't so big in making sure their audience is comfortable.

So the director came out before hand and explained what was going to happen.

There are 18 windows on the front of the MCA. Six on the second floor, six on the third floor and six on the fourth floor. The performers were inside the building with projectors.



Old school projectors. Two for each window. And a WHOLE bunch of transparencies that they had drawn on.

There was someone down by us who would use his walkie talkie to tell them when to switch to the next slide, keeping in time with the music, lighting up different windows at different times and keeping the story flowing seamlessly. There were a few times when you could also (purposefully) see the shadows of actors walking around inside the building. I'm not usually into comic books but they did an amazing job. (And it was actually easier to read/see than these photos from my phone demonstrate.)







Anyways, it was one of the coolest things I have ever seen. I got blown away with how creative the whole idea was. And I felt so lucky to live in a city with so many artistic and creative people!

you're welcome

Today I was riding the el home and there was a father who was entertaining his young son with his iPhone.

Sitting by the doors. Playing stupid games. Pretty oblivious to everything.

And I saw a man. A young man in a track suit, get up, and for absolutely no reason, move to the completely other side of the train to sit near this father and son. No reason for that. He had his own seat to himself where nobody was bothering him on the other side of the train.

So my guard was instantly up. Granted, I happen to be a *little* bit paranoid after my phone was stolen and I saw someone's phone stolen and I've heard eighteen million stories of people's phones being stolen.

But I thought, he wouldn't steal it out of the hands of a little kid, would he?

And then I stopped being so naive.

And I thought about something my friend and I had just talked about... about doing something. How often do we sit there and not do anything? When my phone got stolen a woman on the train said to me afterwards, "I thought they seemed suspicious!" A whole lot of good that did me after the fact!

So do I wait until they get their phone stolen to say that I thought that guy looked suspicious? That a feeling in my gut told me he was up to no good?

Do I walk over and say "Hey, phones get stolen on here a lot, you should probably put that away?"

I thought about that.

Instead what I did was get up and go stand by the door. And I made eye contact with the potential thief. Just to let him know that I was aware. That somebody was paying attention, even if the dad and his son weren't.

I didn't say anything and really I didn't do anything. But the guy couldn't have made it out the door with the phone without getting past me.

Sure enough, he got off at Central (the iPhone thieving capital of the world.) And he sort of slowed down as he walked by the kid but then looked up and saw me blocking his quick exit and kept on walking.

Now is it possible that this guy was just a genuine nice guy? Is it possible that I am crazy and paranoid? Absolutely. I will be the first to admit that. But thankfully, now we will never know. And it took very little effort on my part, but the guilt would have killed me if their phone HAD been stolen!

F.A.Q.s

One of the questions that people and clients often ask me is if my hands get tired/ hurt from giving massage.

Usually my answer is no. They don't hurt. That's the big reason that people go to massage school- to learn how to give multiple massages in a day without hurting yourself. Plus having the massage table really helps. You can adjust it to the right height and then use your body weight to apply pressure rather than having to work your arm muscles.

That's usually my answer.

Yesterday if you had asked me around 6 PM, you would have gotten a whole different answer. Yes, it hurts so bad! And then I probably would have broken into emotionally exhausted tears.

I've been on vacation for two of the last three weeks. Giving massage is like any other athletic activity- if you don't do it for a while you get out of shape! So it's been slow and it's been slow and it's been slow and then suddenly BHAM! Yesterday I was fully booked with five and a half hours of massage, and of course all of them wanted deep tissue. That's the equivalent of not working out for two months and suddenly playing in a soccer tournament. And did I mention that I didn't have a break? For some reason the front desk staff decided that I didn't need to take a lunch yesterday. I explained that just because my lunch time is "flexible" does not mean it is okay for me to not have one.

It was rough. It reminds me of when I first started out and overworked myself and had to go home and ice every night. Owwwieee!

So I'm not going to lie to you guys, it does hurt sometimes. But it is still worth it. Completely and totally worth it.

write

C'mon people! You need to write more!

I get up in the morning and check my email, glance at Facebook and then read my friends' blogs. It is my way to slowly ease myself into the day.

But when people haven't written anything I have no buffer. I have to go straight from waking up to working out. And that is no fun. We all already know how clumsy I am. I don't want to imagine what would happen if I tried running before I am fully awake!

I only see one solution to this problem... you people need to write more!

what are you saving it for?

I broke my favorite plate while doing the dishes tonight.

Which makes me a little sad.

But these things happen.

And it's better to use something daily where it gives you a little bit of joy all the time, than to let it just sit on a shelf somewhere gathering dust and getting no use at all but being totally safe.

People put away their "good stuff", their "fine china" for special occasions. But how often do they really bring it out?

I say screw it! Life IS a special occasion! Use it!

love

I've got two things to say about love...

The first was something I read in a book today. I am actually reading a satire. It is called Lamb: The Gospel According to Biff, Christ's Childhood Pal by Christopher Moore. It's pretty amusing. Not really the sort of book that I would expect to be quoting about love. But there was a passage today that struck me.

Let me set the scene... Jesus (who in this book goes by the name Joshua- don't ask) is talking to his buddhist master, Gaspar, at a monastery in China...

Joshua reached across the table and took the old man's hand. "You drill us every day in the same movements, we practice the same brush strokes over and over, we chant the same mantras, why? So that these actions will become natural, spontaneous, without being diluted by thought, right?"
"Yes, said Gaspar.
"Compassion is the same way," said Joshua. "That's what the yeti knew. He loved constantly, instantly, spontaneously, without thought or words. That's what he taught me. Love is not something you think about, it is a state in which you dwell. That was his gift."


Love is not something you think about, it is a state in which you dwell.

For a sarcastic satire novel about Christianity, that is kind of deep. Kind of goes with an idea a friend of mine shared with me that love is not something to be given or taken away, it is something within us.


The second thing that I was thinking about love is something that I read by Dr. Ruth.

She said that the secret to a good marriage is not love...

... it is commitment.

Which I think is 100% true.

If people go into a marriage just thinking about love, they are bound to be disappointed. ESPECIALLY if they are deeply in love on their wedding day because when that feeling fades they are going to think that something is very wrong. That they have a bad marriage.

We are human. There are times we won't like our spouse. There are times that we will have feelings for other people. Saying the magic words "I do" does not suddenly turn off our urges and our desires for other people.

If you go into a marriage thinking that "because I love this person I will never want to be with anybody else for the rest of my life" you are going to be miserable.

I'm not saying that love isn't important to a marriage.

I'm saying that a marriage can not survive on love alone.

Marriages are about commitment.

They are about looking at another person and saying, "Yes, for better or worse, I am throwing my lot in with yours. I WILL stick by your side. I will make this work. And because I commit myself to you, we will be able to grow and build a life together."

I think it is infinitely harder nowadays when we DON'T have arranged marriages. We now marry for LOVE. And so we expect to feel in love ALL the time. Perhaps our ancestors knew what they were doing... they knew that a marriage based on love alone could never work.

But maybe we are lucky. We now have the choice of whom we marry. We can have a marriage based on love AND commitment.

the el

I spend a considerable amount of my time riding the el.

And certain things always go through my head when I ride it. No, not "I'm gonna die!"

There are just certain phrases that pop into my head.

I can't explain them.

But whenever I round a turn I think, "The silver serpent slides through the city."

I can't help it, I like alliteration.

And there is a little song that I sing in my head while standing on the platform waiting for the train.

It goes:

Come on Brown Line,
Won't you be mine!?

(or green line, or red line, depending on the trip)

It is sung to the tune of "Look at that girl with the daisy dukes on."

I can't really explain it.

But if you ever see me doing a little dance while waiting on the platform, now you know why.

facebook photos

Do you know what is kind of a fun game? Post a bunch of photos on facebook and then when people comment on them you get sent an email but it just says that they commented on your photo, it doesn't show you the photo in your email so it is fun to try and guess what photo they are talking about!

Sometimes it is obvious but every now and then someone will comment on an OLD photo and you will be like "what on EARTH have I posted lately that would elicit that comment?"

Yes, this is what I do to amuse myself.

smile through the tears

I know poetry is NOT my strong suit. Do I have a strong suit? I think perhaps rambling is my strong suit. But screw it, I will subject you to my poetry anyways!




She smiled through her tears
because she knew it was just the ice
around her heart
melting

and liked chapped hands
on a wintry day
her heart was going to sting a little
as it thawed

smile

I'm waiting for my toenails to dry so that I can go to bed. Giving myself a pedicure right before bed is perhaps NOT the brightest idea I've ever had! :)

Anyways, my point is that I have a little time to kill.

And I discovered something... if you want something that is guaranteed to make you smile (unless you are a heartless, evil curmudgeon) you should do a Google images search for the word "smile."

I think this is going to be my new bad mood buster (not that I'm in a bad mood now but it is good to remember for possibly future grumpiness.) I can imagine all sorts of words that I can do a google images search for that would probably yield some good results. Such as "panda babies" or "laughter" or "hot soccer players." I haven't tried those yet but I'm sure they will be great.

taking chances

I was thinking today about taking chances and how that's almost never a bad thing. Things haven't always worked out exactly like I've planned them but at the very least I've learned something from my mistakes. Most of the time, however, taking a chance and going out of my comfort zone has greatly improved my life.

I was thinking specifically lately of taking chances when it comes to jobs. I remember when I got fed up with my boss and quit my job at Relax. Oh what a glorious day that was! I was (<---->) close to punching my boss. Instead I threw my shirt down (don't worry, I was wearing a different shirt) and yelled, "Fuck it! I quit!" That might have been the most liberating moment of my entire life.

There was a little bit of panic in the next few weeks as I scrambled to find a job. I won't say that the whole situation was without stress. But then what happened?

I took a chance. I moved into a new apartment a block away from the the job that I wanted to get. Call it positive thinking. A week later Jenny called me and told me that I had the job! I still remember that day. I was standing near my front window which is one of the few places I got reception and I was trying to play it so cool when I was talking to her on the phone. Then I hung up and started jumping up and down and dancing around my nearly empty apartment.

And then Ellen called me back and said that she WAS going to give me the other job I had applied for and that she had wanted to give me but that she hadn't given me right away because she had decided that they weren't going to hire people at that time but then she changed her mind.

Suddenly I went from being miserable in my crappy job to having the two best jobs EVER!

All you have to do is ask and the Universe will provide!

My next question I guess is what I should ask for?

Because I know that whatever I do, it WILL work out.

So do I move up to Minnesota and see how that works out? Do I move to Paris? Do I stay here?

Staying here is obviously the EASIEST move. But I don't think it is going to do much for me. Perhaps it is time to take a chance.

Hormones

Can I tell you just how horny I am today? It's like I'm a dude or something! I know that it is totally normal for women to have healthy sex drives but this is distracting! If this is what it REALLY feels like to be a guy, I am surprised that they get anything productive done EVER!

Butch

You want to know more about elephants? I'll tell you more about elephants! Besides telling you that they are the coolest creatures ever, which we all already know, I will tell you that they have six sets of teeth in their lifetime and once the last ones have been worn down they pretty much have to eat mush and so soon after that happens is when they tend to die but they can live up to 70 years old. Their teeth are crazy looking, sort of like ribbon candy. And they only have four teeth. Two on top, two on bottom.




(these two pics are from the internet but all the rest are from my trip)

This is when we first were greeting Butch and putting him on the washing pad while our guide told us a bit about elephants in general.



Then they had us move away so they could "stretch him out" or make him lay down.





He could probably do this a lot quicker but he likes to take his time and he is always trying to maneuver closer to the mud which is why they need the two workers there to direct him.

When we were washing them the workers were feeding him. This kept him happy. However, he really enjoys being washed and it is really good for him and his skin. The skin has wrinkles that trap the water which helps protect his skin and keep him cool.





This next video is mainly just for Nicki and anybody else that wants to sit through a 7 minute slide show of me washing an elephant! It was my first time using the "scrapbook" feature on my video program so sorry about the weird automatic transitions that they put in. I should also probably apologize for the odd background music choices. Whatever.



My favorite part of the elephant is definitely his trunk. There are thousands of muscles in an elephant's trunk. He does not eat food or drink water through his trunk, he picks up the food with his trunk and puts it in his mouth. He sucks up water into his trunk and then squirts it into his mouth. He can use his trunk as a snorkel when he goes swimming.



After his bath they brought Butch back to the enclosure with the other elephants, the zebras, the water buffalo and the ostriches. There is one elephant who is new and follows Butch around like an annoying kid sister. She is a runt because she has food allergies so she was stunted during her growth period. Don't get me wrong, she's an elephant so she's still really big, but for an elephant she is small. They have figured out what she can eat and she is doing really well there. During the day all the elephants have to eat the certain hay that she can handle (otherwise she would get into their food and get sick) but at night they separate the elephants and they get to eat other food. Also, an elephants skin is too thick (an inch thick!) to do allergy testing so they just have to figure it out by seeing what makes her sick.

He then proceeded to cover himself with dirt. Again, picking it up with that amazing trunk of his and spraying it all over himself. The runt stood right next to him and closed her eyes so that she would get the benefit of the dirt bath without the work!

I'm not sure what else I can tell you. They just have an amazing vibe about them. I love you, Butch!

Monterey

I could get used to living here. I don't say that about many places. I loved visiting Sonoma but I couldn't live there. I sort of hate San Francisco (shhhh!) with all those hills and tightly packed buildings. It seriously makes me feel a bit claustrophobic- what can I say, I am from Illinois and am used to being able to see for miles!

Anyways, I could picture myself living in Monterey, Ca. It's beautiful. It has a bunch of different festivals. Live music. A plethora of good restaurants. Plus I've seen more hot guys here in the last two days than I have seen everywhere else in the last five months combined. It's a little on the chilly side but the ocean and otters more than make up for that.

What can I say? I just really like it here. Perhaps I'll move here and get a job at the elephant reserve.

Oh, the elephant reserve! The place where really nice elephants go when they retire from the circus/ carnivals.

I don't even know where to begin because I know that no matter what I say I won't be able to do it justice. Elephants are just so cool. And smart. When you look in their eyes you can tell they are thinking. But what you don't realize until you are standing RIGHT next to them is how ridiculously big they are. It is sort of like how in your head you know that someone who is seven feet tall is really tall but you don't realize quite what that means until they are next to you.

When I was washing the elephant, Butch, today they made him kneel/lay down and I still couldn't see the top of him!

Their skin is crazy.

But my favorite part is the end of their trunk which has so many specific little muscles that it could pluck a blade of grass. I got to feel it as he sucked the pieces of bread out of my hand!

Anyways, it was actually a lot of work washing the dang elephant but it was a great experience that I would recommend to anyone!!!

This seriously has been the best vacation ever! Yeah life!

shhhhh! I'm a mega freak! Don't tell anyone!

There are some things that I should probably just keep to myself, especially around would-be suitors. People ask me why I'm still single (which, FYI, might be the most annoying question in the world) but the following facts might shed a little light on the subject.

1. I still sleep with a stuffed animal. Um, I just sat here for a few minutes thinking of ways to justify this and then I decided that I don't care. I did not bring my stuffed animal on vacation with me. Nor did I bring it into the emergency room with me, but he did come along for the car ride when I couldn't breathe and was having my panic attack.

2. I LOVE Martha Stewart Weddings magazine. I even had a subscription for a while. Want to freak a boy out? Have him pick you up for a first date and see a stack of wedding magazines sitting in your apartment! I hide them. But I can't help it, it's a great magazine!

3. I get as excited as a seven- year old girl when it comes to stickers! Today I actually got to go on a tour of Mrs. Grossman's sticker factory which is probably my favorite sticker company. Plus I got to shop in their store which has every sticker they currently make! Ah, the mother lode! The factory was cool and everyone who works there is very happy, loves their job and gets to bring their dog to work with them.

I'm looking forward to waking up tomorrow and NOT having a hangover! Now, that's an idea! Actually, my hangover this morning wasn't too bad. Yes, I drank a lot at my cousin katie's (very fun!) wedding but then I sweated it all out when I was dancing for hours straight! I reached a point where I was so sweaty and disgusting that I figured that I might as well go all out- and since I won't be doing my usual running workouts this week, I decided to turn my night of dancing into a serious workout.

I will admit that I'm not a particularly graceful or skillful dancer. But I more than make up for that with my enthusiasm! :) As my mom said to me this morning, "Well, at least you're a happy drunk!"

Anyways, we finally got home and decided to hang out and watch the stars for a while in the hot tub. (Have I mentioned lately just how much my life rocks?!?) That seemed to take care of the rest of the alcohol in my system. I woke up the next morning just a bit dehydrated and with REALLY sore calves. Apparently running does not prepare you for a hard core dancing session.

Anyways, there has been lots of drinking the past few days and each morning (similar to Senior Week in college) I wake up swearing that I will never drink again. But by the afternoon (again, like college) I was right back on the horse. Who am I to say no to good wine?!?

And I've been drinking LOTS of good wine. I'm letting my dad plan all my vacations from now on. He has found some great vineyards for us to hit up. Not only that but we also got to do a special food and wine pairing. We also stoppedby the Coppala vineyard which is a but on the cheesy side but still fun. The man we had pouring our drinks there was named Remy Martin (which he swears is not a stage name!) and though I didn't ask, I'm pretty sure he was a member of the Coppala family.

Today we visited Verite where I learned more about wine than I thought possible. These were super high end wines. One of their 2007 wines scored a perfect 100 from Robert Parker. That is only the 36th perfect 100 rating that he has given out in the last 30 years (for all of you keeping track at home.) We, however, were tasting the 2006 wines which only had ratings of 92, 94 and 96.

It's a rough, rough life, I tell ya!

Anyways, after a delicious home-cooked meal out on our back deck and only a couple of glasses of wine this evening, I am ready to soberly head to bed so that I can wake up bright and early to head to Mrs. Grossman's sticker factory. (OMG!!!!)

I don't think I'd want to live here permanently but for a couple of days Sonoma is a damn nice place to be!!!

worth it

Do you ever see things that are so beautiful they make you want to cry??

I know that in theory the stars in the heavens are glorious and awe inspiring. But sometimes, living in Chicago, you forget that. In Chicago you can see approximately 10 stars. Maybe thirty on a really good night. And the color of the night sky?? Orange. I'm no expert but even I know that's not right.

Last night, looking at the stars here in northern Calufornia, I was floored. Millions of them. You could even see the Milky Way.

We were joking about how God told Abraham that his descendants would multiply and be as numerous as the stars in the heavens. In Chicago that's almost an insult! Here, that actually means something!!

It's one of those things that you have to see to appreciate. And it's one of those things that you appreciate no matter how many times you have seen it!! :)

thank god!

Thank god for massage. (side note: it's weird how phrases like "thank god" are in my lexicon, and how I just use it as a general expression, not to actually thank God. But the phrase works so well.)

Anywho, thank god for massage! Giving a good massage and really connecting with a client can just turn a whole day around. Am I really going to be able to give this up and get a real job?

I'm not going to think about that now.

I'm going to think about me. And wine country. And one glorious week of livin' the good life.

Do you know what the only bad part about going to Napa Valley is? (Besides spending WAY too much money!)

The roads! I get so car sick driving around on all those tight, curvy, hilly roads.

I live in Illinois for Pete's sake! I can't handle curves! And curves mixed with hills?! Save me!

I remember trying wine (a sip at the dinner table) as a kid and HATING it. Now I love it. I wouldn't say that I was a connoisseur (nor would I say that I know how to spell "connoisseur"- it took me three mistypes and eventually using auto-correct to spell it right!) but I definitely can distinguish between different reds and I know what I like.

Which makes me think that maybe I should give beer another shot. I drank it my freshman year of college, no problem. I could learn to drink beer. I could learn to like it. Even thoroughly enjoy it. Which would be good because sometimes it is just too hot out to drink wine. And while I can drink red wine with ANYTHING, there are times that even I have to admit that beer would go better with a meal.

My friend told me that she sometimes puts grenadine in her beer. That sounds rather delicious- I might have to try that!

I just wish that it didn't make me burp so much.

Is there a trick to drinking beer in a certain way so that it doesn't make you burp?

Maybe I just need to drink it from a glass. I only drink pop from a glass because pop in a can makes me burp. Aha! This deserves some experimenting, me thinks!

Any suggestions of beginning beers for a non-beer drinker? I currently tend to stick with Miller Lite and Bud Light simply because they taste the least like beer! We'll have to do a progression to get me up to drinking Guiness!

snarl

Time to go take a nap so that I can wake up on the right side of the bed.

Today has not been going how I wanted.

What happened to my love fest?

I sometimes feel like every time I open my inbox I get more bad news. Which I know isn't true. I needed to stop focusing on the negatives. But it is hard because my uncle was just diagnosed with liver cancer and my aunt just had back surgery that had bad side effects and now she won't be able to make it to her daughter's wedding this weekend! How bad does that suck??

But good things happen too! I must remember that! My mom is so greatly improved that she no longer qualifies to get a defibulator (sp?) put in. Go Mama! And my friend finally quit her job so that she can do what she really wants! Way to be so brave! And other good things are happening.

We just need to talk about the good things more. Too much attention to the bad.