directions

Does anybody else have the problem where you get nervous when you give strangers directions?

A man stopped me tonight and asked me directions. He was trying to get to the Old Town School of Folk Music. I made sure I knew which one he was trying to get to (there are two of them) and then gave him directions.

But now I feel personally responsible for him.

Did he make it there?

Did he make the soft right onto Lincoln or did he accidentally take the hard right onto Ashland?

I should have been more specific! The anxiety! The worry!

Oh well, I'll never see him again so if he got lost it's not my problem.

crazies

My brother spends a lot of time on the weekends at his friends' apartment. It is only a block from where I work so occasionally, if the timing works out, he will offer me a lift home from work on Sundays.

This weekend he didn't have his car with him but offered to take the el home with me.

So we are waiting on the platform and he asked if I take the brown or the red line. The red line is way faster but you have to climb a lot of stairs to transfer, you have to take your card out of your pocket again to transfer, it goes underground which I don't really like, and there are lots more crazies on the red line.

However, we had just missed a brown line so when the red line came we decided to hop on instead of waiting another 10-15 minutes for a brown line.

And sure enough, after we had been sitting for five minutes, a crazy homeless lady gets on our car and starts yelling and ranting. She ends up coming and sitting right next to me and almost whacks me as she swung her arms about.

After she got off, my brother turns to me and says, "You really do attract them, don't you?"

I recounted the story to my mom and she said, "Well, it's not so bad, attracting them, it isn't like they are mugging you."

So I reminded her of how I had just been robbed on the el a few months back and she just laughed and said, "Oh yeah!"

Anyways, for your viewing enjoyment, I took a little footage today of a crazy who was doing an impersonation of how "fools" act when they are riding the train and how they can't handle when the train moves and she thinks they are dumb. Sorry about the poor videography but I was trying to be discreet in the fact that I was filming her.

pay attention

I was going along, a little bit grumpy this morning. And I thought, WHAT IF?

What if this is it? What if this is the best my life is ever going to be? I don't think that's the case, but what if? Shouldn't I be enjoying it? What if this were the my last day on earth? Shouldn't I take it all in?

So I did.

I enjoyed the warmth of the heat on the train.

I enjoyed the zoom zoom! sensation of zipping along about the world as we flew by in the train.

I enjoyed the people around me.

And because I was doing all this I also got to enjoy the snow. The crazy snow we had this morning. The flakes were ridiculously big. I've NEVER seen them that size. It was like being inside a snow globe.

When I got to the station I took some video. It doesn't show you exactly what my eyes saw- the layer upon infinite layer of snow coming down. In the distance the flakes looked black because they were so big. It looked like a huge swarm of bugs were invading the city- but in a cool way!

And then, as life's little way of thanking me for paying attention and noticing how awesome it was, my pain-in-the-ass client canceled and I got to take one of my favorite clients instead!

Yeah life!

seeing things

It's a little hard to make out in this photo but I spotted a shape in the clouds.

Do you see it?

Like the middle-left of the photo?

It is definitely a set of stairs!

I couldn't stop singing "Stairway to Heaven" after I saw it. :)

really?

Things that make me laugh...

... the number of pillows on my client's bed! And this is just the guest room, there are actually more on her own bed!

fashion week

Who needs to go to Fashion Week in Paris or New York?

I learn about all the latest trends when I ride the el.

Like the "starched bandana under the ball cap" look. It keeps the sun/wind off your neck and ears while letting you flash those gang colors.

It's gonna be all the rage this spring, trust me.

Danger! Danger!

Just a warning: I may have to kill someone if my computer doesn't start loading faster.

klutzy mc-klutzerton

I knocked my nalgene bottle of water off of my bedside table this morning.

I watched in horror as it plummeted face down towards my electric heating pad that was sitting on the floor.

And then, by some miracle, or perhaps the force of my will, it landed in my trash can. Which is full of old kleenex, which soaked up all the water!

Disaster averted!

beauty

I was thinking about women and ads today. There has been a big movement in the last couple of years to get more "normal" looking women in advertisements.

Women complain that these ads are setting the standard for some sort of ridiculous ideal that they will never measure up to. Destroying our self-worth.

And that most of the ads are airbrushed and touched up. Nobody is really that perfect.

That's what we tell ourselves anyways. And I agree. They should have more normal looking women in the ads.

I did, however, have a client today who was gorgeous. And she wasn't a model or an actress. She had some normal job. Lived a normal life. But she was stunning. Perfect hair, perfect skin, perfect body. Not a hint of cellulite.

If it makes you feel better, she DID have a lot of knots in her shoulders!

It just got me thinking, that yes, media does portray a ridiculous ideal that is hard to measure up to, but there ARE people who really look like that.

I have no point that I am trying to make, just thinking about it.

comfort zone

When's the last time I took on a real challenge? The last time I left my comfort zone?

It's been a while.

I haven't done anything that really made me nervous for a while.

But do you know what I realized?

I've been doing lots of things lately that used to make me nervous.

That's the thing about life... once you try something a time or two and realize that "hey, I can do this!" it stops being something that is scary.

I do need to set up some challenges for myself. Push my limits. Expand my comfort zone. I think that is how you grow.

the ink is flowing

I am a writer. I write, therefore, I am.

I had a very intense dream the other night. One of those dreams where you hit the snooze button hoping to fall back into it. One of those dreams that doesn't fade as the day goes on but instead you can remember every detail as if it really happened. Yeah, one of those.

It inspired me to pick up the pen (or keyboard as the case may be) and write about it. I've started a new novel. In the last two days I have written ten pages.

One of my problems with writing has always been getting a good feel for the character. But now it is coming so easily to me, because I know the character. I was the character in my dream so I already know what she thinks and feels.

And I've decided that for Lent I am going to give up being afraid of failure. I'm going to go ahead and write, even if it ends up being crap. I'll worry about that later. For now I am enjoying the writing process.

portable urinal

I had another lovely experience riding the el last night. Yes, another one. I do, for the record, have days like today where absolutely nothing of note happens while riding the el, but most days there is at least one notable/ bloggable event.

Last night I was calmly sitting enjoying my book. I was towards the end of the car, but was not in what I call "the booth"- the section of the el where the conductor would be if it were the lead car. However, there was a man sleeping in there. A second man got on and walked over to the booth. Let's call him Crazy Homeless Guy. So Crazy Homeless Guy looked pretty perturbed that there was already somebody sitting there. We all have our favorite seats. I chalked it up to that. Later, however, when the first guy left, the Crazy Homeless Guy moved into the booth.

I didn't think anything of it.

I was deep in the thralls of my book.

Until I heard a noise.

An unmistakable noise.

Well, my oh my, that sure sounds like somebody peeing! I look up at the Crazy Homeless Guy in the booth (which, did I mention was about five feet away from me??) and sure enough, he has his pants unzipped and is leaning up against the wall, peeing.

I decided that was my cue to switch seats. His friend, an overweight lady, who he went and joined at the other end of the car when he was done, was giving me the stink eye. Really? Because I didn't want to sit next to the urinal?

The thing that got to me the most was that this occurred on the Brown Line. I mean sure, the Green Line, you expect that stuff- but the Brown Line?!? The Brown Line has got class!

I relayed the story to my client tonight and she was in shock. She asked me if I called the police.

No, I did not. She asked me if there was a button on the train so that I could tell the conductor. There was, but I did not.

It just got me thinking, at what point is enough enough?

As sad as it is, when you are dealing with crazy people on the el, it is just better to let them be. As long as I am not physically or emotionally threatened or harmed, I am going to just put up with it. You know why? Because you never know when that Crazy Homeless guy is going to go ape-shit crazy and start peeing on me!

Sure, it would be nice to live in a world where you saw something bad happen so you called the police and they showed up and the problem was solved. But that isn't how Chicago works.

If somebody ever lays a finger on me, they are gonna regret it. But if someone quietly goes off and pees in the corner, I'm gonna write about it on my blog but that's about as far as it's gonna go.

Have I mentioned how sick I am of riding the el?

shapes

I am constantly seeing shapes and creatures and faces all around me. In the clouds. In the stucco. In the weave of the rug. I'd say that it was a residual effect from having too much fun in college, but I've been doing this ever since I was a little kid.

I even notice things in the dried salt/slush on the floor of the el. What can I say, it keeps me entertained and makes the ride more fun!

my workout secret

Okay, I am going to let you in on my workout secret...

If you wait to workout til you "want" to workout or "feel like" working out- it's NOT gonna happen.

So here is what I do, I get up in the morning and I am feeling tired and groggy and stiff and the last thing in the world that I want to do is work out.

But I get up. I can handle getting out of bed.

I put on my workout clothes and sports bra and shoes. No problem.

I go downstairs to the treadmill and I start walking. Everyone can walk. I mean, it's just walking. I can do that half asleep. And I tell myself that that is all I have to do. I just have to walk.

But once I hit about five minutes and I am feeling all warmed up, the feeling sort of hits me that "well, I'm here already, I might as well run." And then my real workout begins. And after the running (okay, who are we kidding- jogging) I am ready to go down the basement and do my weights and abs.

But there is no way I would have done it if I told myself in the morning that I had to go run.

So I trick myself into it. And you know what, if all I do end up doing is walking- that's still a good thing.

And not every workout is intense. But like I always say, "A half-ass workout is better than sitting on the couch eating potato chips!"

And what is crazy is how good I feel and how much looser my clothes are after just one week of this.

living in the present

I know all sorts of people who are trying to (and struggling with) living in the moment and being present.

It is easy to get caught up in harping on the past or worrying about the future.

We always say to "be in the present." What does that mean? How do we do it?

Well, I had a brilliant insight last night. What better way to mentally put ourselves in the present than to physically put ourselves in the present?

Pay attention to your five senses. Feel the keys under your fingers as you type. Hear the song that the keyboard makes as you tap out the words. See the colors. Taste what you had for lunch still lingering in your mouth. Smell the fabric softener in your sweatshirt.

There are so many great sensations out there that we just blow right by. Let your senses ground you in the present.

self-help

I love self-help books. Well, good ones, anyways. One of my favorite writers is Steve Chandler.

Last night instead of picking up a novel before bed, I decided to read of few chapters of Steve's book "100 Ways to Motivate Yourself." I've had this book for about five years and am only on page 59!

Anyways, none of the things in the book are particularly new. I've heard most of them before. But they are good reminders.

Here is a passage I really liked about being proactive:

Many of us can spend whole days reacting without being aware of it. We wake up reacting to news on the clock radio. Then we react to feelings in our body. Then we start reacting to our spouses or children. Soon we get in the car and react to traffic, honking the horn and using sign language. Then, at work, we see an email on our computer screen and react to that. We react to stupid customers and insensitive bosses who are intruding on our day. During a break, we react to a waitress at lunch.

This habit of reacting can go on all day, every day. We become goalies in the hockey game of life, with pucks flying at us incessantly.

It's time to play another position. It's time to fly across the ice with the puck on our own stick ready to shoot at another goal....

Plan your day the way Bill Walsh planned his football games. See the tasks ahead as plays you're going to run. You'll feel involved in your life at its very essence, because you'll be encouraging the world to respond to you.

blizzard. earthquake. I don't want to know what's next.

An earthquake in Chicago? What is the world coming to?

This morning at around 4 AM I was startled awake. It felt like the whole house was moving but the fact that we were having an earthquake didn't even cross my mind. My first thoughts were that a ton of snow had just fallen off the roof, or that my mom who is sleeping in the bedroom above mine had fallen out of bed (I almost went to check on her.) Okay, I'll admit that my third thought was that someone had broken into my house and was in my room and yes, I had to get up and go check and make sure that they weren't hiding in the shower before I could get my heart to stop beating so hard and get back to bed.

Turns out it was a 3.8 earthquake. I seriously can't even imagine what it must feel like to be in a real one. Scary.

a spot of tea, perhaps?

I had a client last night that cracked me up.

First of all, she was late for the appointment. Not like, really, really late. But it was supposed to start at 4:20 and at 4:20 she was still putzing around in the steam room or something. At least I assume that is what she was doing because at 4:25 when she bothered coming over she was bright red and covered in sweat.

So finally I get her in the room and start talking to her. Is something bothering her? What does she want to work on? Is she just looking for relaxation? Yadda, yadda, yadda. Okay, let's start face down, I'll be back in a couple of minutes. Do you have any questions?

Now, normally when I ask people if they have any questions, the answer is no. Occasionally someone will ask if it is okay for them to keep their underwear on. (It is.) But I've just covered EVERYTHING, so really, I just do it more as a formality. So I ask my darling client if she has any questions and she goes, "Oh yeah, could you go get me some tea?"

"What?" I must have misheard her. Or she is kidding, right?

"Could you go get me some tea?"

I can only imagine the look on my face. You know that in approximately 90 seconds you are going to be laying face down getting a massage, right? And do I look like your bitch?

Apparently I did, because I asked "What kind of tea?"

"Oh, any kind is fine. But lots of honey."

"Sure thing."

Ah, clients. You never cease to amuse me.

I'm not sayin', I'm just sayin'...

pookie vs. old pookie

278 426

236 428

303 382

333 377

404 365

184 428

257 395

That's what you get for calling me Old Pookie! Harumpfh!

Landmarks

This is an advertisement for Turkish Airlines that they had up on the el. There was a little boy on the train with his mother who was pointing to the various pictures and saying which city it was in. He was doing pretty good too. He got London and New York and then he got to the last one and goes... "Candy Land."

Awesome.

pregnancy test

My mom just came in the room and asked me who died. I guess I must have had quite the look on my face.

Nobody died. And to tell the truth, my life isn't going too poorly. Had nice clients lately. Won all of our v-ball games. Have been hanging out and connecting with friends lately.

And I'm not pregnant. I mean, I knew I wasn't pregnant, that there was no possible way that I was pregnant, and yet, like every girl, I freaked out when I missed my period and had to go buy a pregnancy test this morning. The young woman at Walgreen's was very nice and she even double bagged it for me without me asking her to so that people couldn't see what was in my bag.

Speaking of pregnancy tests, have you ever seen this commercial for them?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DqX7VxW3wL0

Cracks me up!

Life is good. And I know it is good. But I am reflecting on sad things and so it is okay to feel sad.

spam

Okay, seriously, spam mail has such a way of picking up my spirits sometimes.

I got one today that said...

Flag this message

You have little joy in life? Lacks warmth and affection? Come to me.

Thursday, February 4, 2010 7:05 PM

From:

"notification@facebookmail.com"

Add sender to Contacts

To:

imafrenchie@yahoo.com

We were talking on the forum, remember me? I am Maria from Russia!
My Dating Site

celebrity sightings

Have you ever met or seen a celebrity? My only real celebrity sighting was when I saw Sinbad (at the height of his popularity) going through the airport at 5 AM back when I was around eleven years old.

My friend/client Jaime sees celebrities everywhere. David Hasslehoff just sat next to him in the lounge at the airport. He once ran into David Schwimmer on the street. And I mean, RAN into him.

He will tell me about these sightings and it made me realize something. I potentially see celebrities everywhere- but I just don't recognize them. He recognized drummers from random bands. He recognized actors that had bit parts on Law and Order. Unless it is someone truly famous who is in Us Weekly, I am not going to recognize them on the street.

But what is it about seeing a celebrity that is special anyways? Why would we want their autograph? Proof that we met them? What is so great about meeting them? It is a weird phenomenon.

Universal truths

I gave my coworker Becky a massage the other day. It's always a little stressful when giving a fellow massage therapist a massage because you want them to really like it and think highly of you. We only had half an hour and with a seriously tight shoulder, we didn't get the kinks fully worked out.

However, when I saw her for the first time, two days after the massage she said to me, "You are a massage genius."

She told me that my style of massage is completely different from hers. I approach the knots in a completely different way. And it worked wonders. But she would have never have thought to do it that way.

That led to us having a conversation about the different types of massage and how they all do work. One isn't right and the other wrong. They can all be really effective, one isn't necessarily better but are more just a matter of person preference.

Which Becky said fit in really well with her belief in universal truths. She said that if something is an universal truth, that people will take many different paths but still come to the same conclusion. In this case the truth is the manipulating the body with your hands can relieve knots and tension. But there are other truths.

Take energy work and movement for example. It is practiced in many different ways all around the world but does the same thing. The Chinese came up with Tai Chi, the Indians came up with Yoga and the Native Americans did drumming and dancing. All different ways to get the energy flowing through your body.

I like her theory. But does that mean that God is an universal truth? If all these different cultures have gone about it in different ways but came to the same conclusion that there is a god up there looking down on us, does that mean it is true?

funny mama

My mom cracks me up.

She was annoyed with the give-away people who failed to come pick up our stuff yesterday like they were supposed to. She is sitting cleaning the snow off of all of our stuff now.

She muttered under her breath, "I'd love to give those people a piece of my mind... but I don't have much left."