worth every penny

A lot of people ask me why I got a degree in French since I don't want to be a French teacher or a translator. What they don't understand is that French comes in very handy in everyday situations- like filling out crossword puzzles. They like to throw in clues every now and then like "Summer in Paris" which, of course, is "ete." Plus you will find in literature that authors will include little phrases in French without giving you the translations for them. Had I not spent all those years studying French I would miss out on all those subtle nuances. 

Yesterday I had a moment that made all the money I spent learning French seem worth it. I went to the Pirate exhibit at the Field Museum and then was walking along the lake front and ended up next to the Buckingham Fountain. 

A frazzled looking man walked towards me and said, "Parlez-vous francais?" The relief on his face was evident when I told him that I did in fact speak a little French. 

So I'm not going to say that this was the smoothest conversation I have ever had. It did involve a lot of gestures and pointing. It also involved me saying, "I'm sorry, but I have no idea what you are asking. I just don't know that word." He finally was able to convey that he was asking me where the Spire is. Rather than being disappointed when I told him that it didn't exist yet, it was still being built, he seemed almost happy. Like, "Aha! That explains why I can't find it!"

I helped him out with a few other things. He told me that he speaks very little English and was having a very hard time finding anyone who speaks French. He was so happy to have found me. It made me so happy to be able to help the poor guy. And that my friends, is why I was a French major. 

girl power

I work at an all women spa. Which is awesome. Not only am I surrounded by a group of women, but they are a group of massage therapists who are very nurturing and like to make other people feel better. My coworkers who include the front desk staff, other therapists and my two bosses are sweet, funny women who like to bring in lots of baked goods for us to share. They are one of the big reasons why I love this job so much. 

The downside to being surrounded by a group of women is that women are crazy. Yeah, I said it. We are crazy. And when we start PMSing at the same time? Run for cover! 

Our spa is not a fancy spa. But we work hard to maintain a calming and relaxing environment. There are certain things we can't control like the squeekiness of the floor or the sirens going by outside. In the upstairs we have three massage rooms, a restroom, the kitchen/break room and the bosses' office. Everything is very close together and noise travels like nobody's business. In fact, we are only supposed to whisper in the break room because otherwise it can disrupt the massages that are going on. 

Yesterday I was between massages, but one of my coworkers was in the middle of giving a massage. I walked past the office and saw that the door was open and my boss was hammering some cord to the wall. Hammering? Really? Cuz that's not loud or obnoxious at all. We aren't allowed to even talk at normal voices, yet you think hammering is okay?

So I sort of stopped, mainly because I would be PISSED if she were doing this during one of my massages, and I said, "Isn't there a massage going on?" because I figured that she must not know that, otherwise she would not be hammering. And she goes, "Yeah." At which point I am stymied because it means that my boss is just an f'ing idiot. But she looks like she was ready to continue hammering so I say, "Well, don't you think it would be a good idea to not be hammering during a massage?" I didn't think that was something that needed to be said but apparently it was. She didn't take too kindly to that. She responded very snottily saying, "Funny, I thought I could do what I wanted seeing as how I own the place." 

Really?!?

But she stopped hammering. 

funny

So there were three things that I found amusing this week:

1) I was in the kids' section at Borders and they had these chapter books for young readers and they had Star Wars themed books. That's pretty awesome, right? So the main character in one of the books was Yoda. Who is totally rad. So I picked it up and started reading and just had to laugh, because in the book the character talks just like Yoda always talks. Is that really what you want to be teaching to young readers!?! Think so, I do not. 

2) I get a "word of the day" email every day to try and improve my vocabulary. I always feel very special when I get a word that I already know. Today's word was "avoirdupois." I had never heard it before. 

avoirdupois \av-uhr-duh-POIZ; AV-uhr-duh-poiz\, noun:

1. Avoirdupois weight, a system of weights based on a pound containing 16 ounces or 7,000 grains (453.59 grams).
2. Weight; heaviness; as, a person of much avoirdupois.

I should have been able to figure that out because they are the French words "avoir du pois" all smooshed together which literally translates to "have some weight."

So I was watching the National Spelling Bee on tv tonight because, well, because I'm a nerd. It was the finals and one of the kids got "avoirdupois" as their word! I was so excited and totally impressed my sister with my knowledge of the word! 

3) I went to the tennis club and hit some balls in the practice lane this afternoon. All around the tennis club are these big posters from different tennis tournaments. Normal ones like Roland Garros (sp?) and also very random ones that I've never heard of. The one that was directly across from my practice lane was from Pau, France where I did my study abroad my freshman year. The picture on the poster was of the big castle in the town. I was so excited when I saw it that I had to tell the boy at the front desk (who just happened to be a cutie) that I had passed out in that castle! The only time I ever remember fainting in my life was in the middle of a huge French castle! And there it was, just staring at me at the tennis club. 

why oh why am I so shy?

Has anybody ever asked you what one thing you would change about yourself? It seems like it might be a hard question, one requiring a lot of thought. Not for me though, I know exactly what I would change... I would stop being so shy. 

I hate being shy. But I am. Painfully shy. 

Some people may not even realize how shy I am. They probably just think I'm a snotty bitch who refuses to talk to them. And once I've known someone for a while, I am no longer shy around them so it is easy for them to forget how shy I am. 

I've tried to overcome it. And I've definitely improved over the years. I force myself to leave my comfort zone and talk to people. I'm okay in one-on-one situations so I do fine at work. I am actually really good when I am around other shy people. But there are still some situations where it is hopeless. Like yesterday. I went to a party with a group of people who all know each other really, really well. But I don't know them that well. In fact, I hadn't seen most of them since high school. 

It was all I could do to not run into a corner and hide. Thankfully they had some "anti-shy juice" at the party. Otherwise known as beer. And eventually I relaxed and was talking to people more. 

I just wonder why it is that I get so shy. I think it is definitely part of how I was raised. I have shy, quiet, anti-social parents so I think that rubbed off on me some. But I just don't see myself as the typical wall flower. I don't have low self-esteem. It isn't that I don't have anything interesting to contribute. I have funny stories. But I would rather whisper my stories to my best friend and have her tell them than put myself in the spot light. I wonder if that is why most of my really good friends are such extroverts? Having them be the center of attention takes the attention away from me and that is just the way I like it! 

I get so jealous when I see people, like my friend Jake, who can just talk to anybody. I thought that my shyness was something that I would outgrow in time. And I had really been doing so much better lately.  I'm frustrated with myself. Oh well, there are worse afflictions to be had than just being shy. But sometimes I think it's a miracle that I have ever made any friends at all! :) Do you remember the first time I met you? Do you remember me being super shy? 

happy memorial day?

Do we hold nothing sacred anymore? I'm not asking that as a blast against us, just more of a question. Do we? Today is Memorial Day. A day that is supposed to be dedicated to remembering our fallen soldiers. A day of remembrance. A day of observation. A day to put flowers on graves. A day of gratitude for that which others have given up for us. A day of BBQing? 

I've got nothing against barbeques, in fact I am going to one later today. Who doesn't love a good barbeque? I think it is important to get together with friends. There is a lot to be said for that. But I also think it is a little weird to be given the day off from work for a particular reason, like that we are supposed to be remembering the dead, and instead we spend it partying. I wouldn't take Yom Kippur off from work and then go have a barbeque instead. 

There is a movement to try and get Memorial Day to go back to being celebrated on May 30th rather than the last Monday of May. People who really believe in the holiday think it would have more meaning if it were on a certain day, rather than just being an excuse for a three day weekend. 

Here is the original Memorial Day Order:

Memorial Day Order

I. The 30th day of May, 1868, is designated for the purpose of strewing with flowers, or otherwise decorating the graves of comrades who died in defense of their country during the late rebellion, and whose bodies now lie in almost every city, village, and hamlet churchyard in the land. In this observance no form or ceremony is prescribed, but Posts and comrades will, in their own way, arrange such fitting services and testimonials of respect as circumstances may permit.

We are organized, Comrades, as our regulations tell us, for the purpose among other things, "of preserving and strengthening those kind and fraternal feelings which have bound together the soldiers sailors and Marines, who united to suppress the late rebellion." What can aid more to assure this result than by cherishing tenderly the memory of our heroic dead? We should guard their graves with sacred vigilance. All that the consecrated wealth and taste of the nation can add to their adornment and security, is but a fitting tribute to the memory of her slain defenders. Let pleasant paths invite the coming and going of reverent visitors and fond mourners. Let no neglect, no ravages of time, testify to the present or to the coming generations that we have forgotten as a people the cost of a free and undivided republic.

If other eyes grow dull and other hands slack, and other hearts cold in the solemn trust, ours shall keep it well as long as the light and warmth of life remain in us.

Let us, then, at the time appointed, gather around their sacred remains, and garland the passionless mounds above them with choicest flowers of springtime; let us raise above them the dear old flag they saved; let us in this solemn presence renew our pledge to aid and assist those whom they have left among us a sacred charge upon the Nation's gratitude—the soldier's and sailor's widow and orphan.

II. It is the purpose of the Commander in Chief to inaugurate this observance with the hope that it will be kept up from year to year, while a survivor of the war remains to honor the memory of his departed comrades. He earnestly desires the public press to call attention to this Order, and lend its friendly aid in bringing it to the notice of comrades in all parts of the country in time for simultaneous compliance therewith.

III. Department commanders will use every effort to make this Order effective.

—General Orders No. 11, Grand Army of the Republic Headquarters^[1].

I won't be going to put flowers on any graves today, but I will take a moment to think about and thank the soldiers who gave their lives so that I could live in this idyllic world where my biggest concern is what to wear to the barbeque later today. 

you're a Becker, aren't you?

Like all families, my family has many little inside jokes. One of our jokes is that I am adopted. I'm not exactly sure how this joke started, no doubt it started when we were all sitting around playing cards and ripping on each other. I probably said something like "I can't believe I am related to you." And my brother replied, "Don't worry, you're not." It probably would have just ended there but then my mom got into it and made some joke about me being adopted and so of course it has become a running gag. 

There's absolutely nothing wrong with being adopted, but the reason why we find the joke so funny is that I am the spitting image of my mother. Apparently I have the exact same face that she had when she was my age. Unfortunately she was skinnier with much narrower shoulders so I can't fit into any of her awesome 60s dresses.

I also look a lot like my siblings. A LOT like my siblings. Growing up we often called my sister Chris my "thirteen year older twin." Back when I was growing up and my siblings were still in town, I would have people on the street come up to me and say, "You're a Becker, aren't you?" That's right, people I had never met or seen before would recognize me simply from my facial structure. Isn't genetics amazing?

It's been awhile since that has happened. But last night at Target I was trying to find a certain kind of pretzel when I heard a voice behind me pipe up, "Are you guys Beckers?" It was my brother's best friend from childhood. 

It just goes to show that no matter how much I think I have grown and changed, I am still a Becker through and through.

this means war

Sometimes I feel like I'm at war with my body. Over the years I have developed more and more allergies. First it was dust, then fertilizer, then grass, then pollen, then animal saliva, then bug bites. Those all sucked. But I could deal with them. My latest allergy... the sun.  WTF! What's next- oxygen??

emotional release

I had a massage (received, not gave) with Jen today. She is one of my favorite massage therapists. Not to diminish Jen's skills in any way, but that's not really saying all that much because I am a massage whore and have about six favorite therapists. But I specifically chose to go see Jen today because she is amazingly talented and does Shiatsu. 

Shiatsu is a massage form where you lay on a mat on the floor, you wear workout clothes and the therapist moves your body all around and uses their knees, hands and elbows to work pressure points all over your body. It is relaxing and can work out your knots and tension, for sure. But I have found it to be really good for effecting the energy levels in your body. The therapist works the pressure points following the meridians or energy pathways in your body. The idea being that if an area is bothering you, there is usually a blockage in the meridian. 

It was a ninety minute treatment, working the whole body, and it ended with me being face up and Jen working the fronts and  insides of my legs. When she was working my inner left shin I felt all this tension stir up inside of me. Not in a bad way, like it was stressing me out, just in a sort of working itself out way, like it had been lurking in the depths of my being and was coming to the surface so that it could leave. So that was good. 

Then she started working my inner right thigh. And I almost started sobbing. Not out of pain. It felt really good. Just pure emotion. 

When you go through massage school they spend a lot of time teaching you about emotional releases and what to do if your client has one. They are not a negative thing at all. As crazy as it might sound, we store emotions and memories in our muscles and tissue. So when the muscle is worked or a tightness is released, it can stir up lots of different feelings. It can stir up fear, tension, sadness and anger. It can also stir up happy emotions like joy, calm, love and happiness. Sometimes a client will feel like laughing for no particular reason. That's a fun emotional release. Sometimes a client will cry. It can be as little as a few drops or it can be a full on sob fest. Our job as massage therapists is to help them navigate the release. Let them know it is normal and good for them and ask them what they want. Some clients want you to continue with the massage. Some clients want you to hand them a box of kleenex and leave them be. Sometimes it happens during the massage and sometimes it happens in the day or so after the massage. 

Like I said, today I had an emotional release. A doozie of an emotional release. Luckily it was slow at the spa so there was an extra, empty massage room for me to hang out in after my massage. I got into the spare room and turned out the lights and sobbed for fifteen minutes straight. Not just tears, but actual body heaving sobs. Sure, I'll cry from time to time but nothing like this. I sobbed until I couldn't sob any more and then I started laughing. Which, to be honest, is quite similar in a lot of ways to sobbing. 

Normally after a bout of crying I will feel worn out. Exhausted. Dehydrated. Spent. This was different. It was like with each sob I was letting something go. Getting lighter. Until I finally had gotten rid of all the stuff that had been nagging at me and felt great. 

I don't normally talk about it because I don't want to seem like some kooky, hippie, nut case, but energy work is some powerful, powerful stuff. Those old Chinese and Japanese dudes knew a thing or two. 

I've been trying to let this stuff go for a while. But you can't just tell your mind, "Let it go," and have it magically happen. Sometimes you need a little help. Thank you, Jen, for that help. 

Look at me being all productive!!!

They say that the key to really successful people is that they don't procrastinate. They decide to do something and then they do it. They don't do it tomorrow. They do it right now. What a concept. 

I had an amazingly productive day. And it really wasn't that difficult. If I was this productive all the time, it would be mind blowing how much I could accomplish. 

Here is a list of things that I accomplished today...

* cleaned the kitchen

* checked to see if we have paint that I could use down the basement

* saw that we did have paint and said "well, there's no time like the present..." and painted the entire kitchen

* went through all my papers and sorted them into "recycle" or "shred" piles, then I recycled them

* put many things away (where they belonged) in the basement, which required several trips up and down the stairs

* swept and washed the stairs and woodwork and glass in the front stairway because apparently this should be done at least once every three years (it was kind of ridiculous how dirty it was!)

* sent some emails

* prodded a client to sign up for a private massage, which she did

* did NOT eat the entire French Silk pie that is sitting in the fridge, it was tempting so this is one that I am very proud of

* found my drill

* charged my drill

* put my flowers into new pots

* drilled holes in the bases of my current pots so that they will now drain

* got my sister's CDs out of her car and copied them onto my computer, then put them back

* fixed the DVD player in the back room that has been not working for four months

* moved the big plywood board down the basement that has been bugging me for six months

* did my laundry

* showered

* did my sister's dishes

* updated my blog

** and I still managed to check Facebook about five times and watched the latest Indiana Jones movie! 

And the day's not over yet! 

mercury poisoning

I can't wait til Mercury stops being in retrograde. 

Did that sentence really just come out of my mouth? (Or hands as the case may be.) I don't usually pay much attention to horoscopes. Especially because my horoscope for this year said that I would have five bad months and seven neutral months. Um, where are the good months? And then I think about some of the crappy stuff that has happened this year and I think, "Oh god, was that a neutral month or a bad month? Cuz if that was just a neutral month, I don't want to see a bad month!"

Mercury (the planet, not the metal) is in retrograde. I'm not exactly sure what that means. My coworkers today explained that it has something to do with the orbits of all the planets and it looks like Mercury is moving backwards in the sky but really it is still moving forward. This happens a couple of times a year. What it means in terms of horoscopes is that everything SUCKS! You feel like you are crazy. You shouldn't take on new projects. It's a good time to do some cleaning. You will have problems with electronics. (?) I thought that was an odd one but one coworker's camera is missing and the other one's cell phone broke. 

Like I said, I don't put much stock in this. And yet... I have noticed over the years that when I am out of sorts, and I mean REALLY out of sorts, it coincides with the time periods when Mercury is in retrograde. And I didn't know that it was in retrograde til after the fact. 

It ends on May 30th or so. Just a few more weeks. 

And then I'll have to find something else to blame my crankiness on! :)

random thought of the day #1

What if women took all the time that they currently spend stressing out and thinking about how much they weigh and how they look, and instead used that time to do something useful and productive? What if we spent that time thinking of ways to improve the world or to accomplish world peace? Sure, it is important to be healthy and fit, but the way we obsess with being healthy is unhealthy. We sure waste a lot of time on that bullshit. 

insomnia

Do you know what's great about insomnia? Absolutely nothing! Okay, that's not entirely true. When I finally give up on trying to sleep and open up my computer, I get all sorts of things done. Like catching up on my blog reading and writing. 

I suppose that's another good thing about being single- I can sit in bed with my computer on at 2 AM and not bother anyone. And I can just blabber on and on about any ol' topic I want and then blame my incoherent writing on insomnia. 

So let's talk about motorcycles. And how I absolutely love motorcycles. Lately we've been having some days that are absolutely perfect for riding. I want nothing more than to hit the road with a big beefy boyfriend. For some reason, maybe because the stereotypical biker is big and beefy, I feel safer with a big guy behind the wheel, rather than some skinny guy. 

I realize that I could drive one myself, but I hate to drive. And honestly, there are very few people that I would trust to drive me around on a motorcycle. The whole idea of motorcycles terrifies me. In fact, riding on a motorcycle was one of those things that I never thought I would do. 

The first time I was ever on one was a few years back. I was on a blind date. The only blind date I've ever been on actually (screw your roommate doesn't count!) I had had a few drinks and my date offered me a ride. In my skirt and cute little dressy sandals. And I said yes. And I was hooked! 

You know how on a warm day you will roll the windows down in your car and stick your hand out and let it glide on the wind? I feel like motorcycle riding is sort of like that but with your whole body. 

I miss it! 

Motorcycle riding and scuba diving. Two of the things that sounded cool but I never thought I'd do because they terrified me. And still do terrify me. Yet, they were two of the most awesome experiences of my life. 

A friend had asked me what I would do if I only had a month to live. Some of the things on that list were things like more motorcycle riding, sky diving, scuba diving with sharks. He asked why I would have to wait until I only had a month to live to be willing to do that stuff. A good question. But it's the whole risk factor. I don't want to spend the rest of my life as a vegetable because I got in a stupid motorcycle accident. But if the rest of my life was only going to be one month, that's worth the risk. 

Have you ever done anything that terrified you that turned out to be awesome?

just another typical day on the el

Maybe it's time that I just gave up and renamed this blog "Tales from the El." As I was telling a friend the other day, I wouldn't have nearly as many great stories if I drove everywhere instead of taking public transportation. 

The hardest part about taking the el (besides the crazy people) is that I am a bit of a germ phobe. So yesterday when I heard a girl start to cough and sniffle in the seat behind me, I really started to cringe. The el car that I was on was practically empty so I said, "Screw this! I am moving to another seat!" So I got up and moved a few seats away. I accidentally looked up and made eye contact with the girl, and then felt guilty about moving away. Then she put her forehead down on the back of the seat in front of her (my former seat) and started coughing without covering her mouth. I no longer felt guilty. 

About a minute went by and I heard a splash. At first I thought someone had knocked a drink over. But then I heard another splash. Nope, not a drink. The girl was just hurling everywhere. She was literally throwing up on her feet. 

Okay, I know this is gross and I shouldn't be writing about it. But you just have to hear about it- I had to see it! Can I tell you just how thankful I was that I decided to switch my seat? Oh, thank you baby Jesus! 

Then I was torn- do I go over there and try to help her? What could I really do for her? And quite frankly, I don't really want to be by the sick girl. So I stayed away. Which made me feel like a big jerk. But a big jerk who thankfully did not have vomit on her! 

is it just me?

Is anybody else intimidated when they go into Home Depot or is it just me? Everyone just seems so knowledgeable and handy. Lots of burly men in their paint splattered Carrharts who look at me like I don't really belong. And to be fair... I don't. Though I'm not completely worthless around the house. I can paint a room and put together all my furniture from Ikea by myself. 

The only thing that made me feel slightly better was when I asked the worker where the grout was, and he didn't know what grout was. Of course, my first thought was that I was saying it wrong or had just made up some unknown word. Nope, the second worker steered me right to it. I, of course, got overwhelmed and decided to wait till my brother could help me before I tackled the project of regrouting my shower floor. 

The main reason that I went to Home Depot today was simply to get some flowers for the boxes on my balcony. Simple task, right? It was so daunting. First of all, there were crazy amounts of people. Normally having my day off on a Tuesday rocks because there are no lines when I go places. But I didn't think about the fact that gardening is a popular hobby with old retired people who also have nothing better to do than go to Home Depot at 10 AM on a Tuesday morning! Second of all, everyone around me was talking so knowledgeably. All I know is that I want full sunlight plants that are pretty. Is that too much to ask? It seriously stressed me out. 

Am I the only one? What stupid thing or place intimidates you?

f u birds

I mentioned in an earlier post how I could commiserate with bird lovers as they got angry at squirrels stealing their precious bird food. But now I am changing my tune. (Yes, the pun is intended!)

I hate birds. Hate 'em! Mainly because they are the loudest little pests in the world. Do you know what time they start chirping in the morning? 3:38 AM!!! There is nothing worth singing about at 3:38 AM. Trust me on this! That's when the little guy starts. I can sort of tune him out but there is no ignoring the big guy when he chimes in at 4:18 AM. 

I could understand a few chirps, tweets and coos just to let your neighbors know you are awake but do they need to sing a whole friggin' opera? 

I looked to see if there was a reason why they needed to wake me up every day, thinking that if there was a really good reason, maybe, just maybe I could tolerate it more. The closest thing I found to an answer was this:

One reason may be that dawn is the best time for sound to travel, because there is little wind and less other noise and disturbance. Songs broadcast at dawn can be 20 times as effective as that broadcast at midday. And this is a time when birds can't do much else. Light intensity is low, making it difficult for them to hunt and forage. Low temperatures keep their insect prey on the ground. By singing at dawn, when their energy reserves are low after the night, male birds may be telling females that they are nevertheless still fit for breeding. A male singing lustily is demonstrating that he has spare energy in abundance. Dawn may be a good time to sing, but there is likely to be a lot of vocal competition. So there is an advantage in singing at a different time of day, particularly when two different species have similar songs: Two birds of the Californian chaparral, the wrentit and the Bewick's wren, share the same habitat, and also have similar songs. But they manage to alternate their singing bouts so that they are never in direct conflict.   The Berwick’s wren starts the session in the morning and dominates the airways for the first hour. The wrentit stays quiet to avoid competition, but gets his turn sing in the second hour, after which the Berwick’s wren starts again. And so this astonishing sharing of the stage goes on. Bird song travels best at night. The few night songsters, like the nightingale, may dominate the airways for hours with their beautiful songs.

Okay, I swore to never use this blog as a outlet for venting about irrelevant crap but that was before I became cranky Nikki who hasn't gotten a good night's sleep all week. Let's just hope that the birds are going to take the weekend off! 

your lost calling?

Okay, I swear that I won't make every post this month be about tennis, but I get so pumped when I play so I need to talk about it at least a little. 

I had another lesson today. This time it was with Ollie. Or "the Australian from Wales" as we like to refer to him. He's not actually Australian at all. He's actually just from Wales. Regardless, he has a great accent. And the way I figure it, if I am going to have somebody yell at me for an hour about holding the racket wrong and hitting the ball wrong, I might as well listen to somebody with a great accent. 

Now I realize that he is getting paid to teach and encourage me, but I do think I genuinely impressed him when he made me switch my racket to my left hand and hit a bunch of balls left handed. Little did he know that I have practiced being ambidextrous for years! He commented that he thought I had missed my calling and I was meant to be a professional tennis player. 

I replied that there was still time! 

A lovely daydream. I just had a good laugh as I pictured myself trying to return Venus Williams' serve! I can't even return a thirty mile an hour serve! 

I think massage is definitely my calling, but what other callings have I not heeded? What could/ would/ should I have been?

My mom says that one of the things she regrets is that she didn't push us to do more theater when we were kids. And by "more," I mean "any." But what if she had? Nikki B, movie star extraordinaire? I can't see it. 

But Nikki B, tennis star and Wimbledon champion, has a nice ring to it. I can see that. Is it too late? Think of the field day that the media would have with the 29 year old girl who takes up tennis on a whim and becomes a champion. Then I would definitely have something to write for my college newsletter! Hmmm... the fact that nobody thinks it is possible makes me tempted to try it even more. What's the worst that can happen, I don't become a champion but still become good at tennis and get to play all the time? That doesn't sound so bad. Okay, it's official, I am going to become a ranked tennis player with in the next two years. Bring it on! 

That's my lost calling. What is your lost calling? If your life had played out differently, what were you meant to do?

need to step it up a notch

Can I tell you how much I love tennis? Thankfully the weather is getting better so soon I will be able to play more tennis. Once a week just isn't cutting it. 

I've improved a lot but still have a ways to go. I have a client that also happens to be friends with my tennis instructor. She asked my instructor how I was doing. His response? "Nikki is really athletic." Is that sort of the tennis version of saying, "She has a really great personality?" 

So I still can't play tennis worth a damn but at least I'm really athletic (which means I MIGHT someday be good at this game) and most importantly I am having fun. And on the plus side, my racket didn't accidentally go sliding out of my hands (still trying to block last week's lesson from my memory) and halfway across the court today. That's always a good thing! 

things that made me laugh yesterday

People are funny. 

Really, really funny. 

I don't believe in Creationism, but if God did create us, I bet it was just to keep himself constantly entertained by watching us. 

The best part of my job is that I get to deal with people all the time. Yesterday I had amazing clients. Usually I will have a couple of good clients mixed in with a couple of just okay clients and then every once in a blue moon I will get a bad client. But not yesterday. The stars were aligned just right and I had five amazing and funny clients. 

The massages all went well, which is important but they were also cracking me up. The one girl was there because her friends were treating her to a "spa day" because they couldn't make it to her bridal shower. She told me that she had just been laid off yesterday. Later on in the conversation I asked her what she did for a living and she said, "Well I did, blah, blah, blah, but like I said, I got laid off yesterday." And I said, "Doh! I forgot! Sorry to bring that back up." And she jokingly goes, "Yeah, thanks a lot. Totally just ruined this massage!" 

Another client was a bit of a smart ass with a dry sense of humor. When I flipped her over half way through the massage I asked her if she was doing okay. Her response? "There are worse ways I could be spending my time." What made it funny was that she was actually really enjoying the massage. If I didn't know she liked it I might have been a little worried. When she came out of the room at the end I asked her how she was feeling. It is always good to get feedback. Most people respond by saying, "Good," "Great," "Relaxed," "Sleepy," "Sore," "Amazing." But not this girl. Her answer was, "Stoned." Which I have to say, was A) hilarious, and B) the perfect description for how you feel after a good massage.

The last thing that made me laugh wasn't a client, it was a friend I went out to dinner with. When I said something about giving a ninety minute massage he asked, "Ninety minutes straight?!" That cracked me up. I can just imagine telling my clients, "You just lie here, I'm going to go have a little coffee break, I'll be back in ten minutes!" Maybe I should try that today! 

home safe

I made a huge mistake tonight. When a crazy man on the el asked me if I had gum or a breath mint, I actually gave him a piece of gum. What's the harm in that, you might ask? You obviously have never ridden the el late at night. That is when seemingly innocent acts take on much more serious consequences. 

Giving this guy a piece of gum somehow made him my new best friend. And did I  mention that he was crazy? And incoherent? Actually, to be fair, it is possible that he wasn't crazy at all and that everything he said was making perfect sense- I just couldn't understand 2/3 of what he was saying! 

After I foolishly gave him a piece of gum (what was I thinking!?) he decided to thank me by serenading me. His song, which lasted quite a while, went something along the lines of, "If I had the whole world, I'd give it all to you. I'd lay it down at your feet...." That's sort of sweet, right? Well, it would have been if he hadn't followed it up with, "And when you shower, I'll drink all the water. And then (mumble, mumble) your pussy." 

Which of course, (of course!) led him to asking me if I was a model and some mumbling about taking my picture. I was ignoring him the best I could (pretending to listen to my ipod and not laugh.) And then he said something about kissing me. I thought it was best to inform him that I would punch him if he tried to kiss me. He laughed, but I think I got the point across because he stayed away. 

I know better. I do. Why I continue to ride on the el late at night by myself is beyond me. 

What I find interesting though is the different breeds of crazy. This guy was mostly harmless, singing songs, speaking nonsense. I mostly ignored him and it was fine. I ignore most people on the el, and on the streets of Chicago. I do this out of self preservation. I'd guess that it would be fine to talk to about 99% of them, but you never know if the one percent that you are talking to is going to be the one percent that is going to freak out and attack you. 

If I had yelled at the crazy guy on the train and told him to get away from me and stop talking to me, it is possible that he would have just left me alone. It is also possible that it would have just set him off and he would have freaked out and whipped out a knife and stabbed me. You never know. 

I know it's not that interesting of a topic but it is interesting to think of how we alter our actions out of fear. I would act so differently if I were indestructible.