Think about your friends for a minute. Why are you friends with these people? Because they are awesome, because they are funny, because they are smart. Right? Sure, but I think a big reason that people overlook is that you are friends because you came in contact with them. That is sort of a key step to becoming friends with someone.
Let's take college for example. My best friend and I met because we were both on the soccer team. But what if she hadn't played soccer her freshman year? We only had one class together our entire four years at school and that was because we finally chose a class our senior year just so we could be together. We lived in different dorms. We would possibly have never met. But because we did meet and I, therefore, was on her floor all hours of the day and night, I ended up meeting her roommate Dotty who is a very good friend of mine now and Dave who lived down the hall and who I ended up dating for a few years and David who was a SWA for that dorm and is now my penpal. But to become friends with these amazing people, I first had to meet them. That's sort of how it works.
When I first joined Facebook I was only "friends" with people that I was legitimately friends with in real life. But I don't think that is the point of Facebook. So nowadays I will befriend acquaintances that I like and that I wish I knew better. And Facebook is a nice, non-invasive way to do that.
I've come to know more about some of those acquaintances and realized that if we had ever actually gotten to know one another, we would be really good friends. I can just tell.
I met my friend's wife for the first time at their wedding. Yet we had heard a lot about each other through her husband. I thought she summed it up perfectly when she said, "If we only knew each other, I think we would be really good friends."
I've started hanging out with some girls from high school this past year. Notice how I didn't say friends from high school. We were not friends in high school. I met them for the first time at our 10 year high school reunion. And I adore them. There is no reason for us not to have been friends back in the day. Maybe if I had had a class with them back in high school or been on a team with them we would have become friends back then. And yet, we probably walked by each other in the hallways a million times. They were right there.
Just think about how many potentially awesome friends you have missed out on. That girl who sat on the bus next to me last week, maybe she would have become my best friend if we had started talking. The guy behind me at Chipotle last month, maybe he would be my boyfriend now if I had said hello.
Granted, meeting someone isn't a sure fire way to guarantee that you will become friends. I've meet plenty of people that I don't like.
But not meeting them pretty much stops you from becoming friends.
I don't know. In some ways it makes me a little sad knowing that I was potentially so close to meeting these awesome people. But mainly it just makes me happy knowing that there are still so many awesome people out there that I could end up being really great friends with. And, of course, I am thankful for the wonderful people that I did meet and that I am friends with. Love you guys!
Monday, August 31, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
quotes
I love quotes. I think my love of quotes started in high school. My sophomore year English teacher and I didn't get along that well, until the very end of the year. I can't remember why we didn't get along or why we suddenly clicked but we ended up being good friends. For the next two years I would visit her class in the mornings before school. She would put a quote on the board every day. She let me go through her big box of quotes and choose one. Occasionally she had specific ones that she wanted that tied into whatever her class was reading but usually I got to pick whatever struck my fancy.
It's because of teachers like her that I occasionally think about going back to school and becoming an English teacher. And then I remember what all my friends who have either become teachers or tried to become teachers have told me about their experiences. You don't just get to teach prospective Carleton students who love to read and learn. You have to teach the pesky little students too. The ones who don't want to be there and want to make your life a living hell. No thanks.
Where was I going with this? Sorry, I am very hung over right now. Quotes. Right, quotes. My new favorite quote that I ran across a few months ago and that has really stayed with me is:
"Just think how happy you would be if you lost everything you have right now, and then got it all back again."
It's so true. I have so much to lose. I have my health, I have my family, my friends, my teeth, my looks, my athletic ability, my house, my job, my possessions, my safety, my security, my brain.
I would hate to lose any of that. So who cares if I didn't win the huge lotto jackpot on Friday? I've still got an amazing life.
It's because of teachers like her that I occasionally think about going back to school and becoming an English teacher. And then I remember what all my friends who have either become teachers or tried to become teachers have told me about their experiences. You don't just get to teach prospective Carleton students who love to read and learn. You have to teach the pesky little students too. The ones who don't want to be there and want to make your life a living hell. No thanks.
Where was I going with this? Sorry, I am very hung over right now. Quotes. Right, quotes. My new favorite quote that I ran across a few months ago and that has really stayed with me is:
"Just think how happy you would be if you lost everything you have right now, and then got it all back again."
It's so true. I have so much to lose. I have my health, I have my family, my friends, my teeth, my looks, my athletic ability, my house, my job, my possessions, my safety, my security, my brain.
I would hate to lose any of that. So who cares if I didn't win the huge lotto jackpot on Friday? I've still got an amazing life.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
recipe for disaster
Um, so I was going through some of my old notebooks trying to find this scene I had written for my book a few years ago. I didn't find it, but I did find some other things that I had written and forgotten about.
Some of the things I had written were kind of funny. Some were insightful. Some were poems. Some were stories. Some were just random sentences. This one was obviously written when I was not in a happy place. I don't remember writing it but it is in my handwriting. I have to laugh when I read it because it is a little ridiculous. I don't think that was the reaction I was going for when I wrote it, but then again, I don't remember writing it, so maybe it was. Without further ado, here it is:
Recipe for Disaster
In a bowl, mix all your hopes and wishes and dreams
Whip until bright and fluffy and full of light
Now add in a boy
Mix until the love surrounds everything
Now add:
2 Tablespoons of mean
1 empty message pad from when he never called
1 cute outfit that you never wore because he never showed up
2 ounces of forgetfulness
Add a half cup of pain
1 cup of hurt
In a seperate bowl bring four gallons of tears to a boil
Slowly stir in disappointment and pride and simmer for many days
Add enough salt to cover all your wounds
Shread your old love letters
Seperate the words that were true from those that were a pack of lies
Add a dash of bitterness
Now beat until the light in your eyes fades to a dull glow
And you've got yourself a broken heart
Some of the things I had written were kind of funny. Some were insightful. Some were poems. Some were stories. Some were just random sentences. This one was obviously written when I was not in a happy place. I don't remember writing it but it is in my handwriting. I have to laugh when I read it because it is a little ridiculous. I don't think that was the reaction I was going for when I wrote it, but then again, I don't remember writing it, so maybe it was. Without further ado, here it is:
Recipe for Disaster
In a bowl, mix all your hopes and wishes and dreams
Whip until bright and fluffy and full of light
Now add in a boy
Mix until the love surrounds everything
Now add:
2 Tablespoons of mean
1 empty message pad from when he never called
1 cute outfit that you never wore because he never showed up
2 ounces of forgetfulness
Add a half cup of pain
1 cup of hurt
In a seperate bowl bring four gallons of tears to a boil
Slowly stir in disappointment and pride and simmer for many days
Add enough salt to cover all your wounds
Shread your old love letters
Seperate the words that were true from those that were a pack of lies
Add a dash of bitterness
Now beat until the light in your eyes fades to a dull glow
And you've got yourself a broken heart
books
Hi everyone!
Guess what? This is my 100th blog post! How exciting. I can't believe I am at 100 posts already. I guess I had a lot to say. Not a lot of important things to say, but still, a lot to say.
So what to blog about on this historic post? I guess I'll just blog about what I was going to blog about before I realized that it was my 100th post.
Books.
I love books. I can't even begin to tell you the role that books have played in my life.
I once complained that my parents didn't read to me as a child, because I can't remember it. They were actually upset when I said that. Apparently I was the most well read to child ever. I don't remember it at all. I can't tell you what my favorite book was when I was four years old. (Isn't it sort of sad that we put so much effort into raising these toddlers/ small children and they aren't even going to remember it when they grow up!?!)
The first book that I remember being read was The Happy Hollisters. My sister Chris would read it to me before bed. I LOVED it. So much so that when we were finished with that first book I read the entire rest of the series by myself.
When I was in fifth grade our teacher read us A Wrinkle In Time. It seems like fifth grade is a little old to still be being read to but it is one of my fonder memories and it really helped our class calm down.
I was joking that when I had my Lasik eye surgery done that my sister could read me a book that night since I wasn't supposed to be using my eyes. She didn't. Why is it that we don't get read to as adults anymore? Probably because it is a pain in the butt for the reader and we can just do it ourselves. But I miss it.
My then-boyfriend Matt and I were driving from Minnesota to Chicago and it is about a seven hour trip. I HATE to drive so Matt made me a deal that if I would read aloud to him (we were both reading the new Harry Potter book that had come out) that he would drive the whole way. So I did. By the way, it is really hard on your voice to read aloud for that long. And there were a lot of words in the Harry Potter series that I did not know how to pronounce. I just made up my own words.
Books are awesome. My sister asked me the other day how I felt about Kindle. In principle I know it is a good idea. Better for the environment. A space saver. Convenient. But it still just feels so wrong. Because it isn't just reading that I love, it is actual books. I love the feel of the cover. I love the heft of the weight in my hands. I love the smell of the book. I love how they get faded and "well loved looking" in time. I love how you can see how far along you are by seeing how many pages are left. I love that you can burn them as fuel when you start getting cold. I love to see it sitting on my night stand, like a friend waiting for me. I love books.
Guess what? This is my 100th blog post! How exciting. I can't believe I am at 100 posts already. I guess I had a lot to say. Not a lot of important things to say, but still, a lot to say.
So what to blog about on this historic post? I guess I'll just blog about what I was going to blog about before I realized that it was my 100th post.
Books.
I love books. I can't even begin to tell you the role that books have played in my life.
I once complained that my parents didn't read to me as a child, because I can't remember it. They were actually upset when I said that. Apparently I was the most well read to child ever. I don't remember it at all. I can't tell you what my favorite book was when I was four years old. (Isn't it sort of sad that we put so much effort into raising these toddlers/ small children and they aren't even going to remember it when they grow up!?!)
The first book that I remember being read was The Happy Hollisters. My sister Chris would read it to me before bed. I LOVED it. So much so that when we were finished with that first book I read the entire rest of the series by myself.
When I was in fifth grade our teacher read us A Wrinkle In Time. It seems like fifth grade is a little old to still be being read to but it is one of my fonder memories and it really helped our class calm down.
I was joking that when I had my Lasik eye surgery done that my sister could read me a book that night since I wasn't supposed to be using my eyes. She didn't. Why is it that we don't get read to as adults anymore? Probably because it is a pain in the butt for the reader and we can just do it ourselves. But I miss it.
My then-boyfriend Matt and I were driving from Minnesota to Chicago and it is about a seven hour trip. I HATE to drive so Matt made me a deal that if I would read aloud to him (we were both reading the new Harry Potter book that had come out) that he would drive the whole way. So I did. By the way, it is really hard on your voice to read aloud for that long. And there were a lot of words in the Harry Potter series that I did not know how to pronounce. I just made up my own words.
Books are awesome. My sister asked me the other day how I felt about Kindle. In principle I know it is a good idea. Better for the environment. A space saver. Convenient. But it still just feels so wrong. Because it isn't just reading that I love, it is actual books. I love the feel of the cover. I love the heft of the weight in my hands. I love the smell of the book. I love how they get faded and "well loved looking" in time. I love how you can see how far along you are by seeing how many pages are left. I love that you can burn them as fuel when you start getting cold. I love to see it sitting on my night stand, like a friend waiting for me. I love books.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
snoozing
Do you know that feeling where you aren't necessarily super tired but you don't want to get out of bed yet because your body is just so dang comfortable? Your muscles are completely relaxed, you are the perfect temperature, you don't have to pee and the sheets and blankets feel so soft? You are so happy and you don't want to get out of bed quite yet and then you realize that you don't have to?
Yeah, that's the best.
Happy Tuesday!
Yeah, that's the best.
Happy Tuesday!
Monday, August 24, 2009
the path not taken
What is your biggest regret in life?
They say that often times the things you regret the most are the things you DIDN'T do, not the things you did do.
I would say that my biggest regret is not going to Mali, Africa on the study abroad program in the winter of my junior year of college. I was already going to Paris, France that spring and it just seemed like too much time away and too much money. I wish I had gone. What a wasted opportunity. I daydream about calling up Cherif and asking him if I can tag along with the current students the next time he goes.
How would it have changed and influenced me? I'll never know. But every decision we make ends up changing us in some way or other.
Had I gone to Cornell instead of Carleton I would have had a completely different life. I never would have met Jamie. I would have taken soccer much more seriously. And I probably wouldn't have been a French Major. It would be interesting to see how my life had turned out if I went to Cornell, but I don't regret my decision to go to Carleton. Not for a second.
Nor do I regret the relationships I've had. I don't regret having them (because I learned something from each of them) nor do I regret ending them because they weren't right for me.
I could be living in Minnesota, married with children right now. That could be my life. I'm glad it's not. That just wasn't for me. (For all my Minnesotan readers, I am not knocking it, it just wasn't for me!)
I could be married to a Chicago cop, seeing him become more and more bitter as the years wore on. No thanks.
I could be living the high life in New York. Never bored but never a moment's peace. Nope.
I don't have any regrets in regards to my relationships. Ya know why? Because I tried them. I gave them my all. I don't have to wonder what would have happened if I had just been more patient or tried a little harder. I tried as hard as I could.
I'm working on my novel writing skills right now. It is something that I've wanted to do since I was about eight years old and though it may not amount to much, I don't want to regret not giving it a serious try. I don't want to look back in twenty years and wonder, "what if?"
That's my new goal in life. I never want to have to wonder, "What if?"
They say that often times the things you regret the most are the things you DIDN'T do, not the things you did do.
I would say that my biggest regret is not going to Mali, Africa on the study abroad program in the winter of my junior year of college. I was already going to Paris, France that spring and it just seemed like too much time away and too much money. I wish I had gone. What a wasted opportunity. I daydream about calling up Cherif and asking him if I can tag along with the current students the next time he goes.
How would it have changed and influenced me? I'll never know. But every decision we make ends up changing us in some way or other.
Had I gone to Cornell instead of Carleton I would have had a completely different life. I never would have met Jamie. I would have taken soccer much more seriously. And I probably wouldn't have been a French Major. It would be interesting to see how my life had turned out if I went to Cornell, but I don't regret my decision to go to Carleton. Not for a second.
Nor do I regret the relationships I've had. I don't regret having them (because I learned something from each of them) nor do I regret ending them because they weren't right for me.
I could be living in Minnesota, married with children right now. That could be my life. I'm glad it's not. That just wasn't for me. (For all my Minnesotan readers, I am not knocking it, it just wasn't for me!)
I could be married to a Chicago cop, seeing him become more and more bitter as the years wore on. No thanks.
I could be living the high life in New York. Never bored but never a moment's peace. Nope.
I don't have any regrets in regards to my relationships. Ya know why? Because I tried them. I gave them my all. I don't have to wonder what would have happened if I had just been more patient or tried a little harder. I tried as hard as I could.
I'm working on my novel writing skills right now. It is something that I've wanted to do since I was about eight years old and though it may not amount to much, I don't want to regret not giving it a serious try. I don't want to look back in twenty years and wonder, "what if?"
That's my new goal in life. I never want to have to wonder, "What if?"
Sunday, August 23, 2009
"in love" vs "love"
Have you ever been in love?
I was talking to one of my favorite coworkers the other day and discovered that she has never been in love. Say what?!? With some people that wouldn't come as a surprise. I would just think to myself, "Yeah, you're ugly and I don't like you. I can see why you've never been in love." But my coworker is AMAZING. And pretty and loving and lovable. So it came as a shock to me that she has never been in love.
She has been in relationships and has loved people but has never been "in love." And I think there is definitely a big difference. I love my parents but I'm not in love with them. I loved my dog but I wasn't in love with him. I love my friends but am not in love with them.
We are surrounded by movies and songs and books that talk about love and being in love. We are bombarded with it. To the point where if you haven't been in love you start to ask- well why not? What's wrong with me? Am I incapable of falling in love?
I think everyone is capable of falling in love. But you do need the right person. You can't force it. Speaking as someone who has done their fair share of dating (no comments from the peanut gallery) you don't fall in love with everyone you date, not by a long shot.
But should you date someone you aren't in love with? I realize those feelings of being "in love" can fade but shouldn't you have them at some point?
I've seen marriages where two people come together who love each other and then years later the marriage falls apart when one of them meets someone else and falls "in love." And while I was angry at the guy at first for throwing his marriage away, I can't say that I totally blame him. He had never been in love before. Until he met this new woman he didn't even know that he could feel this way. But now that he knows that he CAN feel this way, how is he supposed to be happy with what he and his wife had?
Being in love is a really strong and powerful feeling. And I don't think it is necessarily just the excitement and newness of the relationship that makes it seem so strong, but it is an actual different feeling than simply loving someone. Not that love should be underrated. Love is amazing. Love is powerful. But being in love is like love on heroine. It's intense. It's something that I think everyone should experience. It's awesome. It's a pretty valid legal defense: "I know that my actions were ridiculous, your Honor, but I was in love!"
I was talking to one of my favorite coworkers the other day and discovered that she has never been in love. Say what?!? With some people that wouldn't come as a surprise. I would just think to myself, "Yeah, you're ugly and I don't like you. I can see why you've never been in love." But my coworker is AMAZING. And pretty and loving and lovable. So it came as a shock to me that she has never been in love.
She has been in relationships and has loved people but has never been "in love." And I think there is definitely a big difference. I love my parents but I'm not in love with them. I loved my dog but I wasn't in love with him. I love my friends but am not in love with them.
We are surrounded by movies and songs and books that talk about love and being in love. We are bombarded with it. To the point where if you haven't been in love you start to ask- well why not? What's wrong with me? Am I incapable of falling in love?
I think everyone is capable of falling in love. But you do need the right person. You can't force it. Speaking as someone who has done their fair share of dating (no comments from the peanut gallery) you don't fall in love with everyone you date, not by a long shot.
But should you date someone you aren't in love with? I realize those feelings of being "in love" can fade but shouldn't you have them at some point?
I've seen marriages where two people come together who love each other and then years later the marriage falls apart when one of them meets someone else and falls "in love." And while I was angry at the guy at first for throwing his marriage away, I can't say that I totally blame him. He had never been in love before. Until he met this new woman he didn't even know that he could feel this way. But now that he knows that he CAN feel this way, how is he supposed to be happy with what he and his wife had?
Being in love is a really strong and powerful feeling. And I don't think it is necessarily just the excitement and newness of the relationship that makes it seem so strong, but it is an actual different feeling than simply loving someone. Not that love should be underrated. Love is amazing. Love is powerful. But being in love is like love on heroine. It's intense. It's something that I think everyone should experience. It's awesome. It's a pretty valid legal defense: "I know that my actions were ridiculous, your Honor, but I was in love!"
Friday, August 21, 2009
shop local
Oak Park has a ton of little shops and restaurants. A ton of shops and restaurants that typically fail after a year or two, that is. Though, to be fair, most of these shops close because they have ridiculous hours. You are only open on Mondays, Tuesdays and Thursdays from noon to 5 PM and you wonder why you aren't getting any business? Or the restaurants that close at 6 PM. WTF?
Yet, there are other business that have been around for decades and seem to be surviving if not thriving. Johnnies Italian Beef not only has lines out the door at all hours of the day, but they even have their own security guards. I still think they are a front for the Mob.
A few blocks from my house is a little supply store called Pieritz Bros. They sell pens, paper, notebooks. I often wonder how they have stayed in business all these years. I, personally, hadn't been inside the shop for years and have rarely seen people inside when I walk past.
The shop is cute. Adorable really. Like something out of Harry Potter. There are old fashioned type-writers in the window. My favorite part about the store is that they have signs in the window telling you to buy a pen. These change throughout the seasons. "Going back to school? Buy a pen!" "Buy a pen for your recent graduate!" "Mother's Day is coming. Buy Mom a pen!" Or my personal favorite, "Buy your mailman a pen!"
On a hunch, I decided to stop in to see if they have my favorite notebooks. Yes, I have a favorite notebook which I am actually quite superstitious about and which are impossible to find. They had them!!! And they had my pilot g-2. All in all, a most successful shopping venture. Plus, the guy was as nice as can be. He at first asked me if I was getting ready to go back to school. Then he asked me if I worked for a newspaper- at which point I was really tempted to lie and make up this elaborate fantasy life for myself.
Anyways, the point is, I need to make more of an effort to shop at the local little places because this place rocks and my town is better for having it.
Yet, there are other business that have been around for decades and seem to be surviving if not thriving. Johnnies Italian Beef not only has lines out the door at all hours of the day, but they even have their own security guards. I still think they are a front for the Mob.
A few blocks from my house is a little supply store called Pieritz Bros. They sell pens, paper, notebooks. I often wonder how they have stayed in business all these years. I, personally, hadn't been inside the shop for years and have rarely seen people inside when I walk past.
The shop is cute. Adorable really. Like something out of Harry Potter. There are old fashioned type-writers in the window. My favorite part about the store is that they have signs in the window telling you to buy a pen. These change throughout the seasons. "Going back to school? Buy a pen!" "Buy a pen for your recent graduate!" "Mother's Day is coming. Buy Mom a pen!" Or my personal favorite, "Buy your mailman a pen!"
On a hunch, I decided to stop in to see if they have my favorite notebooks. Yes, I have a favorite notebook which I am actually quite superstitious about and which are impossible to find. They had them!!! And they had my pilot g-2. All in all, a most successful shopping venture. Plus, the guy was as nice as can be. He at first asked me if I was getting ready to go back to school. Then he asked me if I worked for a newspaper- at which point I was really tempted to lie and make up this elaborate fantasy life for myself.
Anyways, the point is, I need to make more of an effort to shop at the local little places because this place rocks and my town is better for having it.
all in the details
I think it is interesting how the little details can say a lot about a person.
Yesterday I was at Walgreens picking up my prescription when I saw a woman buying an ironing board. My sister likes to make fun of me because I don't even own an iron. And I have to admit, I like it that way. To anyone who has seen my extensive t-shirt collection, this will come as no surprise.
I also remember back to when my friend Jenny started dating her now-husband Peter. She was telling us what a great guy he was and then threw in, "And he doesn't even wear a watch!"
I've been working on writing a lot lately and I think it is important for me to remember that small details like that can say a million times more about a character (and say it better) than giving a two paragraph description about their attitudes and actions.
Yesterday I was at Walgreens picking up my prescription when I saw a woman buying an ironing board. My sister likes to make fun of me because I don't even own an iron. And I have to admit, I like it that way. To anyone who has seen my extensive t-shirt collection, this will come as no surprise.
I also remember back to when my friend Jenny started dating her now-husband Peter. She was telling us what a great guy he was and then threw in, "And he doesn't even wear a watch!"
I've been working on writing a lot lately and I think it is important for me to remember that small details like that can say a million times more about a character (and say it better) than giving a two paragraph description about their attitudes and actions.
Tuesday, August 18, 2009
running
Do you know what my favorite part about taking up running again is? The delightful way that my thighs start to chaffe from rubbing together. That's lovely.
I now remember why I don't wear cotton shorts to work out in.
On a side note, I saw a guy running in khaki shorts yesterday. Who does that?
I now remember why I don't wear cotton shorts to work out in.
On a side note, I saw a guy running in khaki shorts yesterday. Who does that?
when will it wear off?
I keep waiting to just wake up one day and be like "So, I can see. What's the big deal?"
But it hasn't happened yet. I still wake up every morning and am amazed at the way I can see. I can't get over how pretty the world is. And not just the actual pretty parts- I ride past the ghetto on my commute and can't get over how detailed everything is.
My new favorite things are trees. I can seriously stare at them for hours. I got lost in the intricacies of the bark. I feel like I am on drugs where you can just sit and stare at your hand for an hour. Except I feel that way about the whole world.
This rocks!
But it hasn't happened yet. I still wake up every morning and am amazed at the way I can see. I can't get over how pretty the world is. And not just the actual pretty parts- I ride past the ghetto on my commute and can't get over how detailed everything is.
My new favorite things are trees. I can seriously stare at them for hours. I got lost in the intricacies of the bark. I feel like I am on drugs where you can just sit and stare at your hand for an hour. Except I feel that way about the whole world.
This rocks!
Monday, August 17, 2009
what are you thinking?
People always ask me what I think about when I am giving massages. Sometimes I talk to my clients, like the math professor that I worked on two days ago that I talked to about calculus and when children start becoming modest about nudity. (Those two subjects were not linked, by the way.) Usually, however, I am silent so that my clients can fully relax and get lost in the massage.
That leaves me with a lot of free time. I try to be present and focus on my client's body and her energy. Now that I've been doing massage for so long (over six years) that all comes sort of naturally and doesn't require as much conscious thought on my part.
I notice things about my client's muscles like, "her tissue feels gluey like she is dehydrated. I bet she is dehydrated, grrr, I wish my clients drank more water. Their muscles release so much easier when they are hydrated and it makes my job so much easier, plus it makes me look like a better therapist."
Or I will notice things like "there are a lot of knots and trigger points in between her scapulas, that's usually a sign of hypertonic muscles. I bet the subscapularis is tight (move over to that muscle.) Yup, sure enough, hmmmm, I wonder if this is going to be too much pressure for her, I better say something just in case." So then I say something and check in with her and then I continue looking to see if the teres minor and major are tight and work the rotator cuff area, all the while noticing which muscles seem to be getting pulled and which are tight and how the client's body responds to the different techniques and then switch up the techniques if they aren't working.
It seems like a lot to be thinking about, but like I said, it is almost second nature to me now. So getting back to the question, what DO I think about?
Food. And this is true for almost every therapist I talk to. We think about food. What we are going to have for lunch or dinner. What we are going to buy at the store. What we are craving. We think about these things several times during the massages. If guys really think about sex as much as women think about food, then there are some dirty, dirty men out there!
The reason for this post is that yesterday I was thinking about something else. I was noticing my client's underwear. I would say that the vast majority of my clients don't wear underwear. There is nothing wrong with wearing underwear during a massage (I prefer to do it myself) but since a lot of my clients are coming from the steam room or hot tub where they were naked or had a bathing suit on and thus end up with no underwear. On a side note, panties are fine during a massage, but take the dang bra off! It is so hard to give a massage to someone who is wearing a bra because the straps cover the areas that tend to need the most work. And ya know what, nobody cares about your boobs. We don't look at your boobs (which are covered by a sheet anyways.) The only thing that massage therapists notice about your boobs is if there are fake or not. The way you can tell is if the boobs stay pointing directly up to the sky when a client is on her back, then they are fake because normally they fall out to the sides a bit.
Anyways, back to underwear. So if you were going to get a massage, what kind of underwear would you wear? Some people wear thongs, which makes sense because that way you are covering up less skin. I tend to go with more comfy pairs that I don't mind getting oil on (it washes out of cotton a lot better than satin.) But my client yesterday was wearing a pair of really cute red lace underwear. Adorable. Expensive. A little out of the normal for our totally laid back spa. Does she wear super cute underwear like that every day? Did she wear them knowing that other people (like the women in the locker room) would be seeing them? Was it her last clean pair?
That's what I was thinking about during my massage yesterday. That, and if my sister was going to be making stuffed peppers for dinner.
That leaves me with a lot of free time. I try to be present and focus on my client's body and her energy. Now that I've been doing massage for so long (over six years) that all comes sort of naturally and doesn't require as much conscious thought on my part.
I notice things about my client's muscles like, "her tissue feels gluey like she is dehydrated. I bet she is dehydrated, grrr, I wish my clients drank more water. Their muscles release so much easier when they are hydrated and it makes my job so much easier, plus it makes me look like a better therapist."
Or I will notice things like "there are a lot of knots and trigger points in between her scapulas, that's usually a sign of hypertonic muscles. I bet the subscapularis is tight (move over to that muscle.) Yup, sure enough, hmmmm, I wonder if this is going to be too much pressure for her, I better say something just in case." So then I say something and check in with her and then I continue looking to see if the teres minor and major are tight and work the rotator cuff area, all the while noticing which muscles seem to be getting pulled and which are tight and how the client's body responds to the different techniques and then switch up the techniques if they aren't working.
It seems like a lot to be thinking about, but like I said, it is almost second nature to me now. So getting back to the question, what DO I think about?
Food. And this is true for almost every therapist I talk to. We think about food. What we are going to have for lunch or dinner. What we are going to buy at the store. What we are craving. We think about these things several times during the massages. If guys really think about sex as much as women think about food, then there are some dirty, dirty men out there!
The reason for this post is that yesterday I was thinking about something else. I was noticing my client's underwear. I would say that the vast majority of my clients don't wear underwear. There is nothing wrong with wearing underwear during a massage (I prefer to do it myself) but since a lot of my clients are coming from the steam room or hot tub where they were naked or had a bathing suit on and thus end up with no underwear. On a side note, panties are fine during a massage, but take the dang bra off! It is so hard to give a massage to someone who is wearing a bra because the straps cover the areas that tend to need the most work. And ya know what, nobody cares about your boobs. We don't look at your boobs (which are covered by a sheet anyways.) The only thing that massage therapists notice about your boobs is if there are fake or not. The way you can tell is if the boobs stay pointing directly up to the sky when a client is on her back, then they are fake because normally they fall out to the sides a bit.
Anyways, back to underwear. So if you were going to get a massage, what kind of underwear would you wear? Some people wear thongs, which makes sense because that way you are covering up less skin. I tend to go with more comfy pairs that I don't mind getting oil on (it washes out of cotton a lot better than satin.) But my client yesterday was wearing a pair of really cute red lace underwear. Adorable. Expensive. A little out of the normal for our totally laid back spa. Does she wear super cute underwear like that every day? Did she wear them knowing that other people (like the women in the locker room) would be seeing them? Was it her last clean pair?
That's what I was thinking about during my massage yesterday. That, and if my sister was going to be making stuffed peppers for dinner.
Sunday, August 16, 2009
another happy entry
It's back... the chirpy optimism. The feeling that everything is right in the world. I've tried to tone it down on my annoyingly happy posts but I just can't help it. Life is so good.
Why do I feel the need to write about it? Because it continues to surprise me!
I have dealt with depression my entire life. Seriously, my entire life. I remember curling up in a ball and crying my eyes out when I was eight years old just because I was so sad. In high school with the crazy hormones, it got even worse. Then I made the mistake of going to Minnesota for college. Minnesota winters do not agree with me. It is such a miracle that I graduated on time seeing as how many times I ended up freaking out winter term and dropping a class. I remember one time going up to one of my teachers and just being honest, telling her that the paper I was supposed to write for class was not going to get done in time because right now it was taking all of my energy to keep the suicidal thoughts out of my head.
I've never even come close to committing suicide. I don't want to commit suicide. But there have been times when I've been depressed and the thoughts just kept hammering away at me. Luckily I've always had self control and I could rationalize with myself and find ways to cope and get through it. There was a point after college where not only was I depressed and not only were the suicidal thoughts taking over my mind, but I also felt like I was losing control.
I realized that all it would take was one minute of me not being in control and I might do something that I would regret forever. That was when I decided to go on medication.
I didn't like going on anti-depressants. In fact, I hated it. They made me feel weak. I was ashamed of them. Plus they raised my blood pressure and gave me horrible headaches. But they helped. They didn't make me happy. I was a little disappointed about that. I wanted "happy pills." With the ones that I was on, I felt the same feelings as before, but I felt in control.
I was only on them for a year and then I was able to wean myself off of them. I don't know if the change was physical or just psychological but I feel like I am a new person. I wish I had taken the medication back in high school. I think about all the relationships I ruined because of my crazy mood swings. I think about what college would have been like if I had been in control back then.
But no sense crying over spilled milk. I prefer to think about now. I prefer to think about the fact that I haven't had to deal with depression in God knows how long. I can't even remember the last time I felt depressed. This whole winter I kept waiting for it to hit. Waiting for the darkness to settle on my soul like a straight jacket. And it never happened.
I just feel so light and free... and happy. I think one of the things that I am really enjoying about being single right now is knowing that my happiness doesn't depend on another person. I control it.
I know some people who never deal with depression and have no idea what I am talking about. I know other people who know what I am talking about a little too well. Even when I was going through the worst of it, there were very few people that I talked to about it. It was my secret. My dark secret that was ruining my life.
Now that I'm not dealing with depression, I feel like I've been given a second chance at life. I feel like the world is mine for the taking.
That's why my posts can be annoyingly, blissfully happy at times. I just can't help it. I want to shout it from the roof tops: I'M HAPPY!
Why do I feel the need to write about it? Because it continues to surprise me!
I have dealt with depression my entire life. Seriously, my entire life. I remember curling up in a ball and crying my eyes out when I was eight years old just because I was so sad. In high school with the crazy hormones, it got even worse. Then I made the mistake of going to Minnesota for college. Minnesota winters do not agree with me. It is such a miracle that I graduated on time seeing as how many times I ended up freaking out winter term and dropping a class. I remember one time going up to one of my teachers and just being honest, telling her that the paper I was supposed to write for class was not going to get done in time because right now it was taking all of my energy to keep the suicidal thoughts out of my head.
I've never even come close to committing suicide. I don't want to commit suicide. But there have been times when I've been depressed and the thoughts just kept hammering away at me. Luckily I've always had self control and I could rationalize with myself and find ways to cope and get through it. There was a point after college where not only was I depressed and not only were the suicidal thoughts taking over my mind, but I also felt like I was losing control.
I realized that all it would take was one minute of me not being in control and I might do something that I would regret forever. That was when I decided to go on medication.
I didn't like going on anti-depressants. In fact, I hated it. They made me feel weak. I was ashamed of them. Plus they raised my blood pressure and gave me horrible headaches. But they helped. They didn't make me happy. I was a little disappointed about that. I wanted "happy pills." With the ones that I was on, I felt the same feelings as before, but I felt in control.
I was only on them for a year and then I was able to wean myself off of them. I don't know if the change was physical or just psychological but I feel like I am a new person. I wish I had taken the medication back in high school. I think about all the relationships I ruined because of my crazy mood swings. I think about what college would have been like if I had been in control back then.
But no sense crying over spilled milk. I prefer to think about now. I prefer to think about the fact that I haven't had to deal with depression in God knows how long. I can't even remember the last time I felt depressed. This whole winter I kept waiting for it to hit. Waiting for the darkness to settle on my soul like a straight jacket. And it never happened.
I just feel so light and free... and happy. I think one of the things that I am really enjoying about being single right now is knowing that my happiness doesn't depend on another person. I control it.
I know some people who never deal with depression and have no idea what I am talking about. I know other people who know what I am talking about a little too well. Even when I was going through the worst of it, there were very few people that I talked to about it. It was my secret. My dark secret that was ruining my life.
Now that I'm not dealing with depression, I feel like I've been given a second chance at life. I feel like the world is mine for the taking.
That's why my posts can be annoyingly, blissfully happy at times. I just can't help it. I want to shout it from the roof tops: I'M HAPPY!
Tuesday, August 11, 2009
can't remember
My nephew Beck had something very exciting happen to him on our trip. He got his first loose tooth. He showed me, wiggling it back and forth.
He was very excited about it. And the prospect of the tooth fairy coming.
I know that I lost all of my baby teeth when I was a kid. And it wasn't scary because I knew that my adult teeth were coming in. I know that happened, but I can't really remember it.
It is so hard to imagine losing a tooth. So creepy. If one of my teeth got loose right now I would panic big time.
That is one of the things that scares me the most about getting old. I don't want to lose my teeth. Hopefully science will have figured out a way for me to keep my teeth until I am 102 years old (and yes, that is about how long the women in my family live to!)
Anyways, it is just interesting to think about things that give other people excitement that cause nothing but panic for me.
He was very excited about it. And the prospect of the tooth fairy coming.
I know that I lost all of my baby teeth when I was a kid. And it wasn't scary because I knew that my adult teeth were coming in. I know that happened, but I can't really remember it.
It is so hard to imagine losing a tooth. So creepy. If one of my teeth got loose right now I would panic big time.
That is one of the things that scares me the most about getting old. I don't want to lose my teeth. Hopefully science will have figured out a way for me to keep my teeth until I am 102 years old (and yes, that is about how long the women in my family live to!)
Anyways, it is just interesting to think about things that give other people excitement that cause nothing but panic for me.
Monday, August 10, 2009
seventh grade
Like I said, I just got back from a week with my family, which included my niece Irene. I find it difficult to remember the kids' ages and grades. So I'm a bad aunt. Sue me. I remember their approximate ages and more importantly, I remember their names.
So I was asking Irene what grade she was going into. She told me seventh. I don't think she was expecting my response. I said, "Uggh! Seventh? Good luck with that. Seventh grade is the worst grade ever."
I felt bad about saying that so later I went back to clarify, even though she had not been upset when I said that. I told her that while I was in seventh grade I didn't think it was that bad, it is just that everything keeps getting better and better as you get older. In seventh grade everyone's hormones start to go crazy and they get all moody and backstab each other. She agreed and said she could already see it happening with her friends.
I am so thankful I am not going into seventh grade. So. Very. Thankful.
So I was asking Irene what grade she was going into. She told me seventh. I don't think she was expecting my response. I said, "Uggh! Seventh? Good luck with that. Seventh grade is the worst grade ever."
I felt bad about saying that so later I went back to clarify, even though she had not been upset when I said that. I told her that while I was in seventh grade I didn't think it was that bad, it is just that everything keeps getting better and better as you get older. In seventh grade everyone's hormones start to go crazy and they get all moody and backstab each other. She agreed and said she could already see it happening with her friends.
I am so thankful I am not going into seventh grade. So. Very. Thankful.
parenting tip of the week
I just got back from a week long vacation with my family in San Antonio. It was heaven. Good food. Good times. Surprisingly well behaved kids.
For those of you who don't already know, I have a very large family. I'm the youngest of six kids. Two of my sisters and one of my brothers are married with children. All together there were twenty-one of us living together this week.
It is interesting to see the different parenting techniques that my siblings use. I think they are all good parents but they are all different too.
My brother Mike and his wife Kelly have been taking a parenting class through their church. It's hard to say if the change in their daughter, Ella, is because of the parenting class or just because their daughter is 8 months older than the last time I saw her, or if it is because their daughter has had surgery to fix her very painful throat since the last time I saw her but the difference is night and day. I never saw the girl cry once. She is a happy little girl.
So I asked them what they learned at their class. The most interesting trick they learned was "couch time." Kids want their parents to be together. The kids are happier when you show them that your marriage is one of your priorities. The trick is simply to sit down on the couch, with the kids, and talk. Take time for one another.
I asked if sitting on the couch watching TV counted as couch time. Nope. Nor does making dinner together. Not even taking a walk together. The key is to not be doing anything else, just focusing on each other.
So what are the benefits of couch time? The kids are more secure in your relationship and that makes them happier, but the real benefit that the parents have found is that the kids no longer feel the need to come into the parents' bedroom at night. Often times the bedroom at night was the only place that the kids would see the parents together not doing anything else. Now that they had couch time the kids didn't need to come into the bedroom. My brother said that it worked right away. And then after a couple of days of not having couch time, their daughter started trying to come into their room again!
I like being the youngest- I get to see and learn from the mistakes and discoveries that my older siblings make.
For those of you who don't already know, I have a very large family. I'm the youngest of six kids. Two of my sisters and one of my brothers are married with children. All together there were twenty-one of us living together this week.
It is interesting to see the different parenting techniques that my siblings use. I think they are all good parents but they are all different too.
My brother Mike and his wife Kelly have been taking a parenting class through their church. It's hard to say if the change in their daughter, Ella, is because of the parenting class or just because their daughter is 8 months older than the last time I saw her, or if it is because their daughter has had surgery to fix her very painful throat since the last time I saw her but the difference is night and day. I never saw the girl cry once. She is a happy little girl.
So I asked them what they learned at their class. The most interesting trick they learned was "couch time." Kids want their parents to be together. The kids are happier when you show them that your marriage is one of your priorities. The trick is simply to sit down on the couch, with the kids, and talk. Take time for one another.
I asked if sitting on the couch watching TV counted as couch time. Nope. Nor does making dinner together. Not even taking a walk together. The key is to not be doing anything else, just focusing on each other.
So what are the benefits of couch time? The kids are more secure in your relationship and that makes them happier, but the real benefit that the parents have found is that the kids no longer feel the need to come into the parents' bedroom at night. Often times the bedroom at night was the only place that the kids would see the parents together not doing anything else. Now that they had couch time the kids didn't need to come into the bedroom. My brother said that it worked right away. And then after a couple of days of not having couch time, their daughter started trying to come into their room again!
I like being the youngest- I get to see and learn from the mistakes and discoveries that my older siblings make.
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