really?

Like I said earlier, I Googled "Topic ideas for blogs" which led me to a site that gave me "101 Great Posting Ideas." I think the author came up with the title for that post and really liked it, so even though they only had about 10 good ideas, they struggled to come up with 101. Most of them were lame, but the one that caught my eye was this:

50. Make a post turning a negative into a positive through humor (e.g. tell a joke: "My parents tell me I'm autistic. I tell them they have an attitude problem.")

I hate when I run across "jokes" like this because they make me feel really stupid. I'm obviously missing what makes this funny. 

wait for inspiration to come?

The topic of my blog yesterday was about not knowing what to write about in my blog. Part of me thinks (and I'm guessing a lot of people would agree) that if I don't have something interesting to talk about, then maybe I should just wait to share until I do. This sounds good in theory, but it means that I would probably only end up posting once a month! 

Instead I use the advice that my journal writing teacher gave me- just pick up the pen and start writing. (On a side note, my journal writing teacher just passed away a few weeks ago. She was easily one of the best teachers I ever had and will be missed. R.I.P., Mrs. G.) In my journal writing class we got graded on quantity, not quality. While this may seem like a stupid way to do it at first, you have to think, who are you to be able to judge someone's journal? So we were graded by the number of pages written. 

When I first found out about this grading system I was stoked. Easy A! Here I come! Then I despaired. How was I going to come up with five pages worth of blabber every day? Luckily, I have big, sloppy handwriting, but still, five pages a day is a lot. Her advice was to just start writing. Tell what happened in your day. What did you have for lunch? Who did you eat with? Those things in and of themselves aren't necessarily interesting but as you write you discover things that you had a reaction to. Perhaps someone at lunch said something that ticked you off. Why did it make you upset? Suddenly the words are flying onto the page. 

Not everything that I write in this vein is fascinating. Sometimes it really is just a boring description of my lunch. But more often than not, when I look back on my journals I will be surprised by the little gems sprinkled throughout. Little gems that I never would have come up with if I had waited to write until I had something "interesting" to say. 

Life before Google

Seriously, what was life like before Google? I was sitting here wondering what I should blog about today. Inspiration was being elusive. I looked around my room for a minute to see if any of my person belongings would inspire a rant. 1000 words about my humidifier? No thanks. So I Googled "Topic ideas for blogs." And voila! I had 74,600,000 hits. 

I think we have become so used to having the internet and Google right at our finger tips that we forget how amazing it is. I still remember writing a report about dolphins in the third grade. My sources for the report were a giant picture book and the encyclopedia- which I copied practically verbatim. 

I heard a statistic yesterday that one issue of The New York Times has more information in it than a person in the 18th century would come across in their entire lifetime. 

So is having access to all this information improving our lives? My vote is for yes. What if the encyclopedia entry that I read about dolphins had incorrect information in it? What if it was written by someone who was biased against dolphins because... okay, I can't come up with a reason why anyone would be biased against dolphins! My point is that the more sources of information that you have, the move viewpoints you are given and you, therefore, have the ability to form a more complete picture of a situation or thing. I mean, what if your only source of news came from watching Fox News? 

I do think our lives are improved by having access to all this information. I still wonder though, why our lives aren't even better. Part of me believes (or wants to believe) that hate crimes and the like stem from ignorance. People are afraid of people that are different from them. So shouldn't all this information let us learn more about each other and therefore let us see the world from each other's eyes and let us stop being afraid of each other and hating each other? Man, I wish it was that simple. 

How did I get from lack of blog ideas to hate crimes??

My point is, Google is amazing. I have a friend who is trying to learn to live more in the moment. I think that is a good idea for all of us. So the next time you Google something- whether it be a recipe, whereabouts and happenings of an ex-boyfriend or information about dolphins- just stop for a second and be thankful for this amazing technology that we have! 

Grammar

I'd like to apologize in advance to some of my readers who are sticklers for good grammar. Reading my blog is going to drive some of them crazy. It isn't even that I don't know how to use proper grammar, punctuation and capitalization. I know how, I just choose not to. I prefer to think of myself like e.e. cummings. I scoff in the face of rules! Though in truth it is part laziness. Largely though, I enjoy writing sentence fragments. And it gives me a certain pleasure to start my sentences with "And" and "But." 

I wonder if part of the reason for my lack of caring, comes from not having to write anything for my job. I don't have to write papers, type up briefs, memos or emails at my job. In fact, the only writing that I have to do is the notes we write about each client after we finish our massage. These notes are not written in proper grammar. In fact, they are pretty much written in code. An example:

Client req'd FMB. Med --> deep. Exta att n/sh. Started w/ myo. Used lifting/kneading, cir fx and TP to erectors and scap area. Lots of TPs along medial bord of L scap. Has FHP. Tightness in QL, pecs and SCM. Did BMT and snow angel stretch. Tightness around ASIS, released well with melting. Rec'd genuflection stretch. Relaxed well and enjoyed. Increase H2O. 

They don't let you graduate from massage school until you can write like this. 

The reason that I chose to write about this today was because I noticed a typo in one of my earlier posts. I had written "aunt's" where I should have simply written "aunts" and it was really bugging me. I realized that if that one little thing was bugging me, who largely doesn't care about grammar, then all the other mistakes I make in terms of grammar are going to be bugging other people. So my apologies. Does it really count as an apology if you don't plan on changing it? I guess so, because I am sorry that what I am doing might by bugging you. 

anecdote #1

So I was walking down Michigan Avenue yesterday at rush hour. The sidewalk in front of the Water Tower was extremely crowded. I was trying to navigate my way through when I made the mistake of looking up and making eye contact with a young woman. She was probably around 18 years old and she was obviously selling something. She had a pile of papers in her hand. She saw me approach and tried to wave me down. I just sort of shook my head no. She asked me "Are you Jewish?" Which I am pretty sure had something to do with what she was selling, not just a random question. Without even slowing down, I responded, "No," and kept walking. Annoyed with my rudeness she retorted, "Good!" 

To blog or not to blog...

A friend asked me a few weeks ago why I didn't have a blog. My first reaction was "who would want to read my blog?" I can be a bit vain (although I prefer to call it "having very healthy self esteem") at times but I had no delusions that my friends and family were dying to read about my every random thought. 

Why do people write blogs? Most of the people I know that have blogs, do it to keep their extended families updated about their young children. 

I don't have young children. I don't have far away family that needs to be updated on my doings. I don't have a glamourous life that people want details about. 

And so I was very hesitant to write a blog. 

But then I started looking around and seeing people who, like me, were just writing about their single life. Blogging about their jobs and their day to day experiences. And I discovered that I liked reading their blogs. There was nothing in their blogs that was mind blowing or particularly fascinating and yet I enjoyed it. I just like learning more about people. I am guessing that other people feel the same way or things like Facebook wouldn't be so popular. 

I started off by only telling two of my best friends that I was writing a blog. I knew they would be supportive and I tell them everything about my life anyways. But I decided that was cheating. If I am going to do a blog (and be able to check it off my "things to do before I die" list) then I had to do it right. So I posted the link on my Facebook page. Most people I am sure will not notice it, or will have no desire to check it out. But it opens the possibility that hundreds more people COULD be reading this. 

Will my writing change knowing that other people could be reading this? I hope not. I'd like to think that I can keep it as honest and open as though only my best friends were reading it. 

On a side note, at a recently family party one of my aunt's came up to me and said that she really enjoyed my letter. What letter? I hadn't written her a letter. Apparently my grandma likes to share the letters that I write her with other people! My first feeling when I heard this was betrayal! Those letters were for Grandma's eyes only! And then I realized that anything that I would possibly write to my Grandma is something that I would probably not mind the whole world knowing about. Still, it was a reminder that once we put information out there, we can't control what happens to it. Perhaps that is a good lesson for a beginning blogger like myself to remember. 

Why do we find pain funny?

At my volleyball game last night, I saw a guy get hit in the crotch with a ball. Not just tapped, but nailed in the crotch with the ball. The guy that it happened to was, of course, doubled up on the floor in pain. Everyone else who had seen it, was laughing hysterically. Almost to the point of tears. 

Why do we find this funny?

The same goes when we see someone trip and fall down. Our first instinct is to laugh. Or to want to laugh. First we make sure that they are not seriously injured and then we do laugh. Why?

Is this something instinctual or is it something we are taught to find funny?

I know toddlers who can be amused for an hour straight by me pretending to fall down and hurt myself. They laugh and laugh and can't get enough. So is it just a natural reaction?

However, when children are young and fall down, all the grown ups around them try to make light of it by saying things like "boom! down you go!" or my favorite one is a coworker who would yell out "you're safe!" as if the kid had just done a slide in baseball. We do this so the child won't automatically start crying their head off. But is that teaching them that falling down is funny?

Can you do my job?

Do you think you could do your friends' jobs? Do you think they could do yours? 

Let's ignore for the moment that you don't have the training to do your friends' jobs, i.e. you didn't go to med school, so no, you probably wouldn't be a very good doctor. For the sake of this question, just assume that you did have the training- could you do it?

For most of my friends I think I probably could do their job. I could be a teacher. I could be a social worker. I could be a scientist. I could be a kayaking guide. 

Would I be as good as my friends are at their jobs? For some of them, yes. For most of them, probably not. I think we chose jobs in fields that we are good at, that we have a natural talent for and that appeal to us. 

I also have some friends that I could NOT do their jobs. I wouldn't last one week as a lawyer in a big law firm. Mainly because I would shoot myself because of how miserable I would be. I couldn't be a doctor and deal with sick people all the time. I hate hospitals. 

This topic came to mind because whenever my sister tells me about her day, I say to her, "I could NOT do your job." She works in HR for a large firm and has to deal with stupid people all day long. People at her job, in my opinion, are way overpaid and spoiled. And then they sit at meetings and complain about things like they ran out of their favorite candy in the snack machine. They aren't just bringing this to someone's attention- they are quite literally MAD about this. I often tell my sister that at the beginning of meetings she should play footage of Katrina and war torn Iraq to help remind these people of what a real problem actually is. 

Mainly the thing that I couldn't handle about her job is that because of possible law suits, she has to be extremely politically correct. Let's just say, that's not my strong suit. She will give me examples of things that people said in her workplace that she then has to deal with or sexual harassment issues and I will think about most of them, "Wait, that's not so bad. What's the big deal?" And she will explain to me why such and such a thing can't be said. 

I want the world to be run by common sense. Not by stupid rules and fear of being sued. 

I, fortunately, have one of the most relaxed and casual jobs in the world. I am a massage therapist. Do I think my friends could do my job? I have a bunch of friends who I actually think would make good massage therapists. But I think it is a job that you have to have a calling for. 

People ask me what I do when I get a fat client. And let's be honest, they don't ask, "so what do you do when you get a fat client?" They ask, "Oh my god, what do you do when you get a fat client?!? Gross!" And what do I do?  I massage them. It doesn't bother me. We come in all shapes and sizes. 

What do I do when I get a hairy client? I massage them. Granted, depending on the amount and length of hair that the client has, it can get tricky. I will have to use more oil or use shorter strokes. But again, it doesn't bother me. 

I love people and I love their bodies. Not because they are perfect, but because our bodies are amazing. If I were the type of person (which some of my friends are) who was grossed out by a few zits on the back or some ugly feet, I wouldn't have this job. 

I do have a weird job. I'll admit that. What do I do? I meet a total stranger.  I bring them into a dark room. And then I have them take all their clothes off and  I rub oil all over them. 

When I describe it like that it sounds pretty strange. But there is a lot more to it than that. I give people healing, positive touch. Not everyone has a significant other or small children to cuddle with. The most human touch that some people receive in a day is a handshake or bumping into someone on the train. It's sad, but true. We, as a species, need touch. And I give that to people. 

I also help people get out of pain. Sometimes people will come in with a pain that has been bothering them for months. They have forgotten what life is like without pain. I can help take away that pain. There are all sorts of different techniques used- swedish, myofascial, trigger point- and you, as a massage therapist, have to know which technique to use with each client and each problem. So I have to be very good at reading people and at reading their bodies. This is something that is a natural talent, but also something that I have refined over the years. It sounds simple but not everyone can do this. I've had bad massages where the therapist didn't do that. 

You also definitely have to like people to be a massage therapist. For the most part, my clients are extremely nice to me, they know I am going to make them feel better so why wouldn't they be nice to me. I am not the tax collector or the meter maid- again, two jobs I could NOT do. But I also deal with people who are extremely stressed out. They come to me BECAUSE they are completely stressed out. So it is important to remember that if a client is snippy or upset, that it really isn't about me and they are usually displacing their anger. I did have a client recently who was evil. From the moment she walked in and discovered that because she was late that she would not be getting her full time, she was a huge pain in the ass. She even started swearing at my boss and called her a bitch. So how do I take a person like this, that I want to punch in the head, and give her a relaxing, healing and nurturing massage? First of all, I tell myself that I don't know what that person is going through. Maybe she was abused as she was growing up. Maybe she just got dumped by her boyfriend. Maybe her mom just died. Thinking these things help me deal with her more compassionately. My other thought is that someone with this much negativity and anger is someone who really NEEDS a massage and so it is my duty to her and to the world to give her one, and to give her a great one. 

Do you think you could do my job? Do you have any friends who you wish you had their job?

Intro

Hi.

My name is Nikki. I'm twenty-nine. I am single and I intend to stay that way. No, not forever. I haven't decided to join a convent or anything that drastic. But I think it would be good for me to be single. At least for a little bit. It seems my whole adult life I have hopped from one boyfriend to the next. Now it is time to focus on me, so that the next time I get into a relationship, I will have a lot more to bring to the table. 

It has been a weird year for me. I broke up with the man that I fully intended to marry. I tried to date an old friend, only to realize that friendship and love are two completely separate feelings. And I recently moved into my parents' house in the burbs after my apartment in the city got taken over by rats. (lovely, I know!) 

I'm happy with my life. I have a job I love. Friends I love. I get along really well with my family. Oh, and I love them. Sorry, I thought I better throw that in there because after saying that I love my job and friends it seemed like sort of a dis to just say that I got along well with the fam. I'm not swimming in money but I have no problems making all my payments and am even working myself out of debt. And I'm healthy. 

I have a good life. 

So what on earth is my problem? The problem is that I could have a great life. And I want a great life. So I've started this blog to chronicle my journey over the coming year as I transform this good life into a great life. 

Here we go...

My to do list

Our current Family Bookclub selection is a book called "The Next thing on my list." In short, the book is about a woman that accidentally kills a girl in a car accident and then discovers the girl's list of things to do before she is 25. The woman, racked with guilt, decides to accomplish everything on the list for the girl. 

A thought that actually just occurred to me is, "had the girl not gotten into the accident and lived a normal life, would SHE have finished everything on that list?" Because I have been making these "To do" lists my whole life and I rarely accomplish everything that is on them. And I am not talking about "to do" lists filled with things like running errands and vacuuming the living room rug. I am talking about things that I want to accomplish before I die. Things that I think will improve my life. Make my life worth living. 

I enjoy making these lists because it helps me plan out what I want to do with my life. Instead of it just being a castle in the sky, it becomes a goal that I need to accomplish. And the other reason I love making these lists is because I love to go back and reread them years later. I like to see the things that I have wanted that have repeatedly shown up on list after list. I like to see the things that I don't even remember wanting to do. I like to see the things that I have accomplished and give myself a little pat on the back. It's fun to sit back and think, "wow, I made my dream come true!"

I admit, a lot of people would look at my life and not be that impressed by it. I don't make a lot of money. I am 29 and single and living in my parents' house. I don't have children. I'm not famous. I am still in debt. 

But I have lived. I found things that I wanted to do and I did them. I challenged myself. I went outside of my comfort zone. I dared.

And yet I still get scared to go outside of my comfort zone (hence why they call it "comfort zone") even though I know what great things can happen if I do. The best things that have ever happened to me in my life are because I took a chance and tried something that I was scared or nervous to do.

I was looking back at some of my old "to do" lists, some of which go back to 1993. Some of the things on those lists were pretty momentous. Some were quite inane. There were many things on those lists that I accomplished like...

* become a massage therapist

* go to Carleton

* grow out my bangs

* buy a puffy Northface vest

* go scuba diving

* learn French

* live in France

* fall in love

* make out with somebody from a foreign country

* get my black belt in Tae Kwon Do

* learn to like yogurt

* ride on a motorcycle

* bungee jump

And, of course, there are things that were on there that I have not yet accomplished like...

* get my master's degree (this was on several lists but it never specifies in what- apparently any ol' one will do)

* meet George Lucas (pretty random, not sure what I was thinking when I wrote this one, still, it would be nice)

* volunteer giving massage to preemie babies

* have kids

So now I am making a new list. I'm not going to limit it to things that I think I actually will or can get accomplished in the next year. That is thinking too small. I am making my "Grand, amazing list of things that I want to do before I die." 

To do:

#1- ride in a hot air balloon

#2- learn Spanish

#3- do ten pull ups in a row

#4- swim with dolphins again (I did it once when I was younger in Key West but I was so terrified that I didn't fully enjoy and appreciate the experience

#5- get Lasik eye surgery

#6- become a Reiki master

#7- study Thai massage in Thailand

#8 -play at a high rollers table in Las Vegas while super dressed up

#9- milk a cow

#10- go to Australia

#11- make out with a really hot Australian guy

#12- learn to be a ventriloquist

#13- have 1000 count bed sheets

#14- eat at the Jules Vernes restaurant at the top of the Eiffel Tower

#15- increase my vocabulary by 1000 words

#16- get married

#17- play in a soccer game against Mia Hamm

#18- live on a farm

#19- work at a vineyard/winery

#20- find a white wine that I really love

#21- learn to sew my own clothes

#22- have a cameo appearance on The Simpsons

#23- be a question to an answer on Jeopardy

#24- hang out with Ellen Degeneres

#25- floss at least four times a week (cuz let's be realistic, it's not gonna happen daily)

#26- never have another cavity

#27- be in a num chuck (sp?) competition

#28- find a treasure map

#29- win the Lotto (at least a $1000 jackpot)

#30- write a best selling (or at least published) book

#31- beat Dakota's top score on Scramble (this is actually attainable, I realize that beating June will never happen)

#32- get pregnant

#33- give birth (meaning not via c-section)

#34- when a homeless person asks for money, give them $100

#35- get a perm

#36- visit the Whitehouse

#37- forgive my ex-boyfriend

#38- see my Pookie at least once a year

#39- do either stand up comedy or improv comedy in front of a live audience

#40- learn to swing dance and do the sweet moves where I get between my partner's legs and around his back

#41- write a poem every week

#42- write in my journal at least three times a week

#43- start a blog

#44- keep writing my pen pals until I am old and gray

#45- buy a bottle of really good sipping tequila- and then drink it!

#46- get a (consistent) killer serve in volleyball

#47- have a secret garden with a hidden door

#48- get in a food fight

#49- be an extra in a movie

#50- watch all the Seinfeld episodes (because people are FOREVER referencing them)

#51- become a good cook, to the point where people actually say, "oh yeah, Nikki- she's a really good cook!"

#52- go back to the fondue restaurant in Annecy, France and order the Chevre Chaud and see if it really is the best thing I've ever eaten in my life

#53- have my head carved out of a 50 pound block of butter like Princess Kay of the Milky Way at the Minnesota State Fair

#54- be a guest on the Daily Show with Jon Stewart

#55- learn sign language

#56- foil a bank robbery

#57- go to Hawaii

#58- go to New Orleans

#59- overcome my fears (of drowning, being smashed on the coral or being eaten by a shark) and learn to surf

#60- get completely out of debt

#61- learn to fence

#62- have something named after me (a building, a disease, whatever)

#63- learn to see people's auras

#64- learn to drive stick shift

#65- kiss a snake

#66- mud wrestle someone

#67- make an exercise and stretching video

#68- make Chicago wooden blocks

#69- ride a camel in a dessert

#70- see the Pyramids

#71- see Eric Clapton in concert in a small venue

#72- have a message sky written by a plane

#73- forgive myself for all the stupid things that I have done/mistakes that I have made

#74- go on a cross country road trip in either a convertible or a VW van and stop at all the little road side attractions that catch my eye

#75- be on the cover of a magazine

#76- own a really cute pair of Jimmy Choos (not that I would ever wear them since I never bother with heels, but maybe if I had the right shoes I would!)

#77- build and open "Jaimeland"- our very own amusement park

#78- write my grandma a letter every month

#79- get rid of half my possessions

#80- read War and Peace

#81- learn to play the violin

#82- learn to do a really cool magic trick that I can impress drunk people with when I'm out at the bars

#83- see the Redwood forest in California

#84- give an elephant a bath

#85- see the Northern Lights

#86- spend a night in the Ice Hotel in Scandinavia

#87- study with a Native American medicine man

#88- learn to carry a tune

#89- dunk a basketball

#90- get photographed by Annie Leibovitz

I think this list is a good jumping off point. How many will I accomplish in the next year? In my life time? Will accomplishing these things make my life great?