Do you remember when Christmas used to be fun and magical?
Christmas as an adult is different. It's expensive. And exhausting. And emotional.
That's not to say it's not lovely. It's still fun. I still enjoy parts of it. I do. Really.
But when we were at my aunt's house last night I got pretty down. I had been doing really well, but last night it was baby central. It seems like all of my cousins (who are younger than me) are popping out babies. There were four babies under the age of 2 years-old there last night. And lots of happy aunts/grandmas cooing and cuddling them and it was sweet. And I wanted to punch them all in the face.
And then Mike sees me get upset and then he gets upset. And then I think about all the people who are single and how hard it might be for them to be there pretending it is all great. And then I think about all the people with anxiety and other problems who struggle to be in those situations and how hard it is for them. And then I think about all the people who are missing someone who has passed away and how hard it is for them.
Like I said, do you remember when Christmas used to be fun and magical?
I have an amazing life. I have the best husband ever. But that doesn't stop me from getting sad sometimes. As much as my brain tries to convince my heart to be happy, it doesn't always get with the program.
Was 2014 a good year? It was a hard year. Lots of hurdles. Lots of challenges. Lots of being in limbo, especially in regards to Mike opening his restaurant, which I have no control over.
It wasn't a bad year. I did lots of growing. I totally rocked this school year. I learned more than I ever thought capable. And I did pass my comps, by the way!
But given the choice, I would not repeat this year. I'm glad to have it behind me.
I could post about the awesome presents I got for Christmas, and the amazing dinners my husband cooks me and tell you about my upcoming trip to Puerto Rico. I could paint a picture that would make you super envious of my life. But that's what Facebook is for! Ha! Here on my blog, you get the more balanced picture. Yes, my life is amazing, but I'm a little down right now. And that's okay.
Balance is good. It makes you appreciate what you have. And right now I have a bed that is calling my name!
I hope everyone reading this had a wonderful Christmas and found more reasons to smile than to cry this year.
Friday, December 26, 2014
Tuesday, December 16, 2014
winter break! woohoo!
A friend just complained that I haven't updated this since September... so in honor of the one person that actually still checks this, here goes...
I just finished my "hell week" which was actually more like two weeks. I had six finals and then my "comps" the big scary end of the year test (which consists of eight different sections) which you need to pass to move on in the program. It was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I had to know the locations and actions of over 200 acupuncture points. I had to know the Chinese and Latin names of over 200 herbs as well as their functions and I had to be able to identify them based on their looks. And I had to try and remember something about how to practice Chinese medicine and the theory behind it. I haven't gotten my grades back yet but the only portion that I bombed was actually the bio-science portion which is odd because that's one of my strengths. However, the questions were not at all relevant to what I am going to be doing in real life so I'm not that upset about not doing well on it. For example, one of the questions was which type of plant is more common: angiosperms or gymnosperms? There were four possible answers but I ruled out whatever the other two were. And then I just had to guess. Because WHO FUCKING CARES??? How is that going to matter as an acupuncturist? I just looked up the answer and it is that there are more known species of angiosperms that all other types of plants combined. So I got that right, so maybe I got lucky on some others too? Fingers crossed!
Here are all the herbs I had to learn!
Now I'm on vacation. And it's lovely. And I don't know what to do with myself! I'm almost done reading my first book. I have several more lined up. Vacation is lovely. Oh, I already mentioned that. Well, it is!
I went to the eye doctor yesterday and she had me do the Snellen chart (I bet you didn't know that had a name!) where you read the letters that she has on the far side of the room. And I was able to read the bottom line so she put up an even smaller line and I could read that too! She told me that she only asks people who have had Lasik if they can read that one- it means I have 20/15 vision! Woohoo! Seriously, getting Lasik was the best thing I ever did. She told me that a lot of professional athletes are coming in and getting Lasik to TRY to get to 20/15 vision to give them an advantage!
Christmas is coming and I'm very much looking forward to it. What's your favorite part about Christmas? Mine in my stocking! My parents' rule was that you only got stockings while you were in school but I love them so much that Santa (my sister!) took over for them and has continued to fill it year after year. Did I tell you that I got Mike a Justin Bieber stocking? He hates it, but I think in twenty years time when it becomes "retro" that it will be awesome. You have to think ahead on things like this.
I got really pissed at a client the other day. She wanted super duper amounts of pressure. More than I wanted to give her, but she was adamant and said it felt great and was really helping and how she gets migraines when people massage her with less pressure. So I gave it to her. And then she complained later that she was really, really sore. No fuck! Grrrrr!
Mike and I are already plotting ideas for next year's christmas card. Some of Mike's friends didn't realize that this year's was a Word Find puzzle. How do you NOT realize that it is a word find puzzle? It SAYS it is a word find puzzle. It has a list of words. It looks like a word find puzzle. I don't understand. Well, they are all stoners so perhaps that has something to do with it.
There is no room in our tiny apartment for a Christmas tree, so I "put up" at tree on our fridge. I was going to decorate it with paper ornaments and garland but Mike had the great idea of using the Christmas cards we receive as "ornaments." It turned out kinda cute, all things considered, but we are running out of room.
Speaking of Mike, he is doing well- as I type this he is off talking to a chef he hopes to hire. We are just waiting on one teeny tiny stupid woopid permit from the City of Chicago zoning department and then we can get our small business loan! Again, fingers crossed!
Alright, buddy (you know who you are!), I've posted something, are you happy now?
Merry Christmas everyone!
I just finished my "hell week" which was actually more like two weeks. I had six finals and then my "comps" the big scary end of the year test (which consists of eight different sections) which you need to pass to move on in the program. It was probably the hardest thing I've ever had to do. I had to know the locations and actions of over 200 acupuncture points. I had to know the Chinese and Latin names of over 200 herbs as well as their functions and I had to be able to identify them based on their looks. And I had to try and remember something about how to practice Chinese medicine and the theory behind it. I haven't gotten my grades back yet but the only portion that I bombed was actually the bio-science portion which is odd because that's one of my strengths. However, the questions were not at all relevant to what I am going to be doing in real life so I'm not that upset about not doing well on it. For example, one of the questions was which type of plant is more common: angiosperms or gymnosperms? There were four possible answers but I ruled out whatever the other two were. And then I just had to guess. Because WHO FUCKING CARES??? How is that going to matter as an acupuncturist? I just looked up the answer and it is that there are more known species of angiosperms that all other types of plants combined. So I got that right, so maybe I got lucky on some others too? Fingers crossed!
Now I'm on vacation. And it's lovely. And I don't know what to do with myself! I'm almost done reading my first book. I have several more lined up. Vacation is lovely. Oh, I already mentioned that. Well, it is!
I went to the eye doctor yesterday and she had me do the Snellen chart (I bet you didn't know that had a name!) where you read the letters that she has on the far side of the room. And I was able to read the bottom line so she put up an even smaller line and I could read that too! She told me that she only asks people who have had Lasik if they can read that one- it means I have 20/15 vision! Woohoo! Seriously, getting Lasik was the best thing I ever did. She told me that a lot of professional athletes are coming in and getting Lasik to TRY to get to 20/15 vision to give them an advantage!
Christmas is coming and I'm very much looking forward to it. What's your favorite part about Christmas? Mine in my stocking! My parents' rule was that you only got stockings while you were in school but I love them so much that Santa (my sister!) took over for them and has continued to fill it year after year. Did I tell you that I got Mike a Justin Bieber stocking? He hates it, but I think in twenty years time when it becomes "retro" that it will be awesome. You have to think ahead on things like this.
I got really pissed at a client the other day. She wanted super duper amounts of pressure. More than I wanted to give her, but she was adamant and said it felt great and was really helping and how she gets migraines when people massage her with less pressure. So I gave it to her. And then she complained later that she was really, really sore. No fuck! Grrrrr!
Mike and I are already plotting ideas for next year's christmas card. Some of Mike's friends didn't realize that this year's was a Word Find puzzle. How do you NOT realize that it is a word find puzzle? It SAYS it is a word find puzzle. It has a list of words. It looks like a word find puzzle. I don't understand. Well, they are all stoners so perhaps that has something to do with it.
There is no room in our tiny apartment for a Christmas tree, so I "put up" at tree on our fridge. I was going to decorate it with paper ornaments and garland but Mike had the great idea of using the Christmas cards we receive as "ornaments." It turned out kinda cute, all things considered, but we are running out of room.
Speaking of Mike, he is doing well- as I type this he is off talking to a chef he hopes to hire. We are just waiting on one teeny tiny stupid woopid permit from the City of Chicago zoning department and then we can get our small business loan! Again, fingers crossed!
Alright, buddy (you know who you are!), I've posted something, are you happy now?
Merry Christmas everyone!
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