home safe

I made a huge mistake tonight. When a crazy man on the el asked me if I had gum or a breath mint, I actually gave him a piece of gum. What's the harm in that, you might ask? You obviously have never ridden the el late at night. That is when seemingly innocent acts take on much more serious consequences. 

Giving this guy a piece of gum somehow made him my new best friend. And did I  mention that he was crazy? And incoherent? Actually, to be fair, it is possible that he wasn't crazy at all and that everything he said was making perfect sense- I just couldn't understand 2/3 of what he was saying! 

After I foolishly gave him a piece of gum (what was I thinking!?) he decided to thank me by serenading me. His song, which lasted quite a while, went something along the lines of, "If I had the whole world, I'd give it all to you. I'd lay it down at your feet...." That's sort of sweet, right? Well, it would have been if he hadn't followed it up with, "And when you shower, I'll drink all the water. And then (mumble, mumble) your pussy." 

Which of course, (of course!) led him to asking me if I was a model and some mumbling about taking my picture. I was ignoring him the best I could (pretending to listen to my ipod and not laugh.) And then he said something about kissing me. I thought it was best to inform him that I would punch him if he tried to kiss me. He laughed, but I think I got the point across because he stayed away. 

I know better. I do. Why I continue to ride on the el late at night by myself is beyond me. 

What I find interesting though is the different breeds of crazy. This guy was mostly harmless, singing songs, speaking nonsense. I mostly ignored him and it was fine. I ignore most people on the el, and on the streets of Chicago. I do this out of self preservation. I'd guess that it would be fine to talk to about 99% of them, but you never know if the one percent that you are talking to is going to be the one percent that is going to freak out and attack you. 

If I had yelled at the crazy guy on the train and told him to get away from me and stop talking to me, it is possible that he would have just left me alone. It is also possible that it would have just set him off and he would have freaked out and whipped out a knife and stabbed me. You never know. 

I know it's not that interesting of a topic but it is interesting to think of how we alter our actions out of fear. I would act so differently if I were indestructible.