emotional release

I had a massage (received, not gave) with Jen today. She is one of my favorite massage therapists. Not to diminish Jen's skills in any way, but that's not really saying all that much because I am a massage whore and have about six favorite therapists. But I specifically chose to go see Jen today because she is amazingly talented and does Shiatsu. 

Shiatsu is a massage form where you lay on a mat on the floor, you wear workout clothes and the therapist moves your body all around and uses their knees, hands and elbows to work pressure points all over your body. It is relaxing and can work out your knots and tension, for sure. But I have found it to be really good for effecting the energy levels in your body. The therapist works the pressure points following the meridians or energy pathways in your body. The idea being that if an area is bothering you, there is usually a blockage in the meridian. 

It was a ninety minute treatment, working the whole body, and it ended with me being face up and Jen working the fronts and  insides of my legs. When she was working my inner left shin I felt all this tension stir up inside of me. Not in a bad way, like it was stressing me out, just in a sort of working itself out way, like it had been lurking in the depths of my being and was coming to the surface so that it could leave. So that was good. 

Then she started working my inner right thigh. And I almost started sobbing. Not out of pain. It felt really good. Just pure emotion. 

When you go through massage school they spend a lot of time teaching you about emotional releases and what to do if your client has one. They are not a negative thing at all. As crazy as it might sound, we store emotions and memories in our muscles and tissue. So when the muscle is worked or a tightness is released, it can stir up lots of different feelings. It can stir up fear, tension, sadness and anger. It can also stir up happy emotions like joy, calm, love and happiness. Sometimes a client will feel like laughing for no particular reason. That's a fun emotional release. Sometimes a client will cry. It can be as little as a few drops or it can be a full on sob fest. Our job as massage therapists is to help them navigate the release. Let them know it is normal and good for them and ask them what they want. Some clients want you to continue with the massage. Some clients want you to hand them a box of kleenex and leave them be. Sometimes it happens during the massage and sometimes it happens in the day or so after the massage. 

Like I said, today I had an emotional release. A doozie of an emotional release. Luckily it was slow at the spa so there was an extra, empty massage room for me to hang out in after my massage. I got into the spare room and turned out the lights and sobbed for fifteen minutes straight. Not just tears, but actual body heaving sobs. Sure, I'll cry from time to time but nothing like this. I sobbed until I couldn't sob any more and then I started laughing. Which, to be honest, is quite similar in a lot of ways to sobbing. 

Normally after a bout of crying I will feel worn out. Exhausted. Dehydrated. Spent. This was different. It was like with each sob I was letting something go. Getting lighter. Until I finally had gotten rid of all the stuff that had been nagging at me and felt great. 

I don't normally talk about it because I don't want to seem like some kooky, hippie, nut case, but energy work is some powerful, powerful stuff. Those old Chinese and Japanese dudes knew a thing or two. 

I've been trying to let this stuff go for a while. But you can't just tell your mind, "Let it go," and have it magically happen. Sometimes you need a little help. Thank you, Jen, for that help.