forgiveness

Do you ever have a moment of zen?

If you have then you know what I am talking about. Just a moment of blissed-out happiness where you feel totally at peace with the world.

I had one last night.

I was getting ready for bed but realized I wasn't really tired yet. There was nothing I wanted to see on TV and I don't have a book to read, so instead I spent a moment filling up a sheet of paper with things that I love. It only took me about three minutes. There are so many things and people that I love. Like you!!!! Mmmmmwwwaaahhhh!

Then I started reading my Dictionary of Quotations, which, as I am sure you guessed, is a book full of quotations. It is divided by themes such as Alcohol, Children, Democracy, Disease, God, etc.

Last night I read the section on Forgiving. My favs were:

"He who has not forgiven an enemy has not yet tasted one of the most sublime enjoyments of life." -Johann Lavater

and

"I can pardon everyone's mistakes but my own." -Marcus Porcius Cato

And then my moment of zen came. I felt any and all grudges that I have ever held- all the hurt that I was clinging to- everything, just slip away.

There were things that I had wanted to forgive in my past but for whatever reason hadn't been able to yet... and suddenly I was able to. You cheated on me... okay. You talked about me behind my back... okay. You blew me off... okay. You treated me like crap... okay. I forgive you.

I. Forgive. You.

Forgiving myself is a bit harder. But I even made progress there. Cut myself some slack.

And it just feels good.