portable urinal

I had another lovely experience riding the el last night. Yes, another one. I do, for the record, have days like today where absolutely nothing of note happens while riding the el, but most days there is at least one notable/ bloggable event.

Last night I was calmly sitting enjoying my book. I was towards the end of the car, but was not in what I call "the booth"- the section of the el where the conductor would be if it were the lead car. However, there was a man sleeping in there. A second man got on and walked over to the booth. Let's call him Crazy Homeless Guy. So Crazy Homeless Guy looked pretty perturbed that there was already somebody sitting there. We all have our favorite seats. I chalked it up to that. Later, however, when the first guy left, the Crazy Homeless Guy moved into the booth.

I didn't think anything of it.

I was deep in the thralls of my book.

Until I heard a noise.

An unmistakable noise.

Well, my oh my, that sure sounds like somebody peeing! I look up at the Crazy Homeless Guy in the booth (which, did I mention was about five feet away from me??) and sure enough, he has his pants unzipped and is leaning up against the wall, peeing.

I decided that was my cue to switch seats. His friend, an overweight lady, who he went and joined at the other end of the car when he was done, was giving me the stink eye. Really? Because I didn't want to sit next to the urinal?

The thing that got to me the most was that this occurred on the Brown Line. I mean sure, the Green Line, you expect that stuff- but the Brown Line?!? The Brown Line has got class!

I relayed the story to my client tonight and she was in shock. She asked me if I called the police.

No, I did not. She asked me if there was a button on the train so that I could tell the conductor. There was, but I did not.

It just got me thinking, at what point is enough enough?

As sad as it is, when you are dealing with crazy people on the el, it is just better to let them be. As long as I am not physically or emotionally threatened or harmed, I am going to just put up with it. You know why? Because you never know when that Crazy Homeless guy is going to go ape-shit crazy and start peeing on me!

Sure, it would be nice to live in a world where you saw something bad happen so you called the police and they showed up and the problem was solved. But that isn't how Chicago works.

If somebody ever lays a finger on me, they are gonna regret it. But if someone quietly goes off and pees in the corner, I'm gonna write about it on my blog but that's about as far as it's gonna go.

Have I mentioned how sick I am of riding the el?