race relations

Race can be a touchy subject. It's not something that I talk about very often because somehow even just admitting that you notice things having to do with race can get you labeled as a racist. But here we go...

I was riding the el yesterday (seriously, why does every one of my stories start this way?!) and I noticed that I was the only white person on the el. It's pretty rare that I will be in a group of about thirty people and be the only white person. I'm trying to think of situations (other than riding on the el, where it does happen somewhat frequently) where I am the only white person. I don't think I've ever been in a movie theater, or restaurant or classroom where I was the only white person. 

It made me think about college and high school (though not my grade school, because that was actually very diverse) where there were only one or two black kids in my classes. I often wondered how they felt about that. Did it make them feel awkward? Did they feel like they had to prove themselves more? Did they not even care?

Being the only white person on the train was no big deal. I decided that I couldn't really use that as a comparison to how it would feel to be the only white person in a classroom because I really wasn't interacting with anyone on the train, whereas you have to interact with the people in your class. 

On this particular train ride it didn't matter at all and the only reason I am writing about it is because it was something that popped into my head. But there have been times on the el where it has mattered. Like when the crazy guy was ranting about wanting to kill white people. That was not the most comfortable ride I've ever been on. 

The train I take goes straight through the ghetto. And when I say ghetto, I mean ghetto. It has one of the highest murder rates in the United States. Which is kind of mind boggling. People who live just miles away from me are living a completely different life from me. It's like it's not even the same city. They wear different clothes, eat some different foods (if I told them that my favorite food was Chevre Chaud, AKA hot goat cheese salad, I am guessing they would look at me funny) talk with different slang, and have a whole different set of rules to live by. Seriously, picture Season One of The Wire. 

So I was on the train yesterday. I had my ipod on and was staring out the window, minding my own business and trying to not attract any attention to myself. I've found that this is a good way to survive train rides. Because did I mention that I am going through the murder capital of the country? You never know when you are going to have a crazy person on the train with you.

It was a fairly crowded train. There was a pregnant woman sitting across the aisle from me, she was talking to her friend who was sitting behind her. And apparently there was a third girl sitting behind me. 

The pregnant woman and her friend were talking somewhat loudly but I had my earphones in and was ignoring them, it was actually at this point in time that I was having the thought that being the only white person on the train wasn't the same as the classroom because there aren't interactions between the train riders. Silly me. The pregnant woman started yelling at the woman behind me. 

Why is she yelling at her, you ask. That's a fair question. Apparently the woman behind me looked at the pregnant woman funny. "What you lookin' at? Why you lookin' at me all funny? What the fuck's your problem? You better watch it, I'll fuckin' kick your ass!" 

The woman behind me tried to explain that she was not looking at her funny, that she was just sort of looking around and spacing out. But the pregnant woman was having none of it. I can't blame her, she got looked at funny. She can't just sit there and take that! 

Did I mention that I often wear sunglasses on the train as well, so that I can avoid situations like these? I should seriously write a travel brochure, "Tips for not getting your ass kicked while on the El."

Anyways, so the pregnant woman was extremely upset and hostile and kept yelling at the woman behind me. When someone is all in your face and yelling at you for no reason, it is hard to stay calm so of course the woman behind me started yelling too. This led to one of my favorite arguing techniques which is to talk louder, faster and continuously so that the other person can't get a word in edgewise. "Uh-uh, shut up, oh no you didn't, talk to the cell (?), I'm not even listening to you, talk to the cell, you are so ignorant, it's ignorant asses like you that give black people a bad name..." This was all coming from the pregnant lady. The pregnant lady then continued, "I feel sorry for you. You obviously have man problems." 

By this point I had turned off my music so I could hear better, though I left the earphones in and continued to stare out the window. I was learning new things, like "talk to the cell." I'd never heard that before. Also, saying that someone has man problems is apparently a real insult because the woman behind me got all up in arms when she said that.

But it led to an interesting exchange where the woman behind me said something to the pregnant woman about how she was probably on welfare. 

The pregnant woman admitted that she was on government assistance and rebutted that the woman behind me "probably doesn't even have a shorty (referring to having a child.)" 

The woman behind me admitted to not having a child and said something about how she plans to graduate. 

If I hadn't been a French major I would have been a sociology/anthropology major. I find different societies fascinating. And the great thing is that you don't have to go down to the Amazon and find some hidden tribe, there are all these different societies all around us. The importance of having a child and a man (though there was no wedding ring on the woman's hand) obviously heavily impacted the pregnant woman's decisions. 

She then said something that I found really interesting. She accused the woman behind me of taking birth control pills. "You probably taking birth control pills. Those drugs make you crazy. That's probably why you looking at me so crazy. Those pills make you crazy. You crazy. There ain't no drugs in this body. (pointing to her very pregnant belly) That's what's wrong with you. You crazy. I'll fucking kick your ass. And I'll tell you right now, I don't fight fair. That's right. Ummm, hmmm." 

The woman behind me got off two stops later and there was no actual fighting. Though the pregnant woman continued to tell her friend how she would have kicked the girl's ass and reiterated just how crazy that girl was, for about the next ten minutes. 

I had just never heard someone who lives in a normal, civilized society and who is not super religious ever go off about birth control pills like that. Like I said, it's fascinating how people live just a few miles from me, but their life is so different from mine! 

This exchange also proved that it's not really a race issue because you have the one black woman saying, "I'm actually going to graduate. I'm going to better my life." And the other black woman who felt that having children was the best way for her to establish her role in society. How you are raised and the culture you grow up in makes a huge impact.