1) The economy is still bad. I could lose my job at any time.
2) With the money I am saving on rent I get to take tennis lessons.
3) I really like having roommates, but because they are my brother and sister I don't have to worry about if we are going to get along or step on each other's toes.
4) My sister is a really good cook.
5) I have a great balcony and yard where I can hang out outside.
6) I am only a block and a half from the el.
7) All my stuff is at one place. Even when I wasn't living here I was coming out here at least one day a week and so was constantly either having to bring my stuff with me or just make do with what I had.
8) I have cable and internet here which I am getting for a fraction of what I would have to pay on my own.
9) Now that I download podcasts to my ipod, the commute isn't even bad.
10) I like it here.
11) I hate moving and don't want to go through that again.
My parents moved out a couple of years ago (and will be moving back in a couple of years when they retire.) They took a lot of their stuff with them so the house sort of has a deserted feel to it. I decided that if I was going to really live here that I should try to spruce up the place a bit, make it feel more like home, hence why I have repainted the kitchen and unpacked a few of my boxes.
The living room was looking particularly bleak. I had all sorts of ideas of things I could do to furnish it and make it look amazing. And then I stopped myself. The point of living at home is to save money, not to spend a fortune on decorations and furniture and paintings. So I decided to make do with what I have. I went up to the attic to see what I could see.
Attics are some of my favorite places in the world. I love to rummage through old stuff and discover little treasures- like the autograph book from my dad's 8th grade year that all of his classmates and teachers (mostly nuns) signed. I also found a set of shelves and my mom's old collection of elephants (stuffed, porcelain, etc.) from the 1970s. Very funky and weird and perfect for the empty corner in the living room. Sure, if I were to go out and spend a lot of money I could find something that looked better, but I wouldn't be able to find something with as much personality and history and meaning to me.
So I settled for that and for some of my old maps to decorate the walls. It's a marked improvement from what it looked like before and I am proud of myself for not caving in and buying unnecessary stuff.
It's hard living in this material world and not getting sucked into it. But do I really need all that crap? No.
It's also something that I notice when I go out with my friends. My friends are beautiful, sexy, stylish ladies. When we go out they look adorable. So trendy. So hot. And I dig it.
There are times when I get jealous of their things. There are times when I think that I should try to be more stylish. I'm typically the frumpy one in the group. So I think about changing. But the more I think about it, the more I realize that it is just not something that is important to me. And that's not such a bad thing. Cuz it's just stuff. I don't have a lot of money so do I want to spend that money on a shirt that is going to be out of fashion in six months? Not really. It is just stuff. Repeat after me- it is just stuff.
I'm definitely a Libra. I see things from every possible position. On the one hand, we are born, live and die. Just a little blip in the big cosmic swing of things. Does all of this material bullshit and the jobs that we have matter at all? Should we be trying to find more meaning in life? If I die tomorrow is the outfit that I am wearing today going to matter at all?
But on the other hand, if this is it, if this is what our lives are, shouldn't we celebrate that and surround ourselves with beautiful things that make us happy like gourmet dinners and cute little outfits?
So what' a girl to do? I'm not ready to go join the Tibetan monks and give up my worldly possessions as I search for higher meaning in this crazy world. But I also don't want to be sucked into capitalist America where we are always wanting what our neighbor has, never content with what we have.
I don't know that I'll ever have it quite figured out. For now I will just try to enjoy what I already have and I'll try to get my pleasure from things like the company of my friends and the warmth of the sun rather than from stuff.
Moving sucks and living with a good cook makes for good living.
ReplyDeleteAnother Libra probably shouldn't comment. And especially just to sit on the fence and say that you have to have balance. But that's exactly what I'll do. I DO believe you need a little of both. The key is to not go overboard - and to realize the value of everything, not just the material things. And I think you do a great job of that. And I think it's human nature to strive for more of everything - that's how progress is made as long as it's a measured thing.
ReplyDeleteOkay I'm being too vague so I'll be quiet now.