What is your biggest regret in life?
They say that often times the things you regret the most are the things you DIDN'T do, not the things you did do.
I would say that my biggest regret is not going to Mali, Africa on the study abroad program in the winter of my junior year of college. I was already going to Paris, France that spring and it just seemed like too much time away and too much money. I wish I had gone. What a wasted opportunity. I daydream about calling up Cherif and asking him if I can tag along with the current students the next time he goes.
How would it have changed and influenced me? I'll never know. But every decision we make ends up changing us in some way or other.
Had I gone to Cornell instead of Carleton I would have had a completely different life. I never would have met Jamie. I would have taken soccer much more seriously. And I probably wouldn't have been a French Major. It would be interesting to see how my life had turned out if I went to Cornell, but I don't regret my decision to go to Carleton. Not for a second.
Nor do I regret the relationships I've had. I don't regret having them (because I learned something from each of them) nor do I regret ending them because they weren't right for me.
I could be living in Minnesota, married with children right now. That could be my life. I'm glad it's not. That just wasn't for me. (For all my Minnesotan readers, I am not knocking it, it just wasn't for me!)
I could be married to a Chicago cop, seeing him become more and more bitter as the years wore on. No thanks.
I could be living the high life in New York. Never bored but never a moment's peace. Nope.
I don't have any regrets in regards to my relationships. Ya know why? Because I tried them. I gave them my all. I don't have to wonder what would have happened if I had just been more patient or tried a little harder. I tried as hard as I could.
I'm working on my novel writing skills right now. It is something that I've wanted to do since I was about eight years old and though it may not amount to much, I don't want to regret not giving it a serious try. I don't want to look back in twenty years and wonder, "what if?"
That's my new goal in life. I never want to have to wonder, "What if?"
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OMG! (I know, I sound 13.) Not going to Mali is one of my biggest life regrets too. Perhaps my biggest. I think about that a lot -- I still don't know how I would've afforded it, but it's not like I'm ever again going to have that opportunity to just spend 3 months there. I wish I had made it work. Would we have been there at the same time?
ReplyDeleteI think a lot about "what I want to do with my life." I don't want to look back with regret on more missed opportunities. Like you, I've decided to go after some writing-related goals so I don't ever have to wonder "what if?" Thanks for the reminder/dose of inspiration!
It's funny to hear someone else say that not going to Mali is also the biggest regret of their life. To other people that might seem like a random regret to have in common but since we were both French majors and that was a program offered by the French Department, that makes total sense!
ReplyDeleteI think we would have been there together. (sigh!)
I'm so glad to hear that you are going after writing-related goals. You are such a great and talented writer! Good luck!