just a quick hello

I'm not going to lie... I did NOT expect grad school to be this hard. It is legitimately hard.

But let's not focus on that. Let's focus on happy...

1. my husband can play the guitar and that is sexy as hell
2. I get to wear yoga pants all week if I want
3. I have a husband who likes to do stupid stuff like pose for silly christmas card pictures with me
4. I don't have major health problems (knock on wood!) that I am currently dealing with
5. I have a straight A average going on
6. I feel at home in my apartment
7. I have an extremely supportive family
8. my clinical counseling class makes me love the world a little bit more every week
9. my classmates are all amazing
10. I got to hang out with mike a lot this weekend
11. I got the highest grade in my class on our last test
12. I can brag on this blog cuz nobody reads it anyways! ha!
13. our new blanket is now the perfect temperature (it was a little too thick for the summer)
14. I like christmas tree lights and now they are all going up
15. I get to go to bed right now.

Do you want to see a picture that came up on the powerpoint presentation in biology last week?

Let me just say that my mind was not the only one in the gutter and there was a LOT of giggling going on!

I think I'll end on that note! Goodnight my lovelies! 

out of balance

Do you know what's kind of ironic? I'm studying Chinese Medicine which is all about how you need balance in your life. This is what we need to teach our clients. This is what we believe to be true.

Yet because I am in school, studying my ass off, I have no balance in my life.

I have no amusing blog posts to write because all I seem to do is work and study.

So working on balance is my big thing right now.

I will share with you my one funny story from the week.

In anatomy lab this week we were going over some of the muscles of the face, including the masseter- or the teeth clencher muscle.

The act of chewing is called mastication.

So our teacher was telling us about when he was in undergrad studying this stuff and he had a professor from China who was new to the US and could speak and understand English but it was still pretty difficult for him. And his prof was getting his PhD and had to get up in front of this big lecture hall full of other students and teachers, etc and answer all these questions that were thrown at him.

So they decided to start him off easy and ask him to talk about the muscles involved in mastication.

Only, like I said, his English wasn't so good, and he thought they asked him about the muscles involved in MASTURBATION!!!

He sat there for a second and then figured, well, okay. And starts explaining the muscles. After a few minutes everyone in the audience realized what has happened and are rolling with laughter... but they let him continue on for about ten minutes!!!

don't work too hard

Hi.

My name is Nikki and I just ate way too many jalapeno peppers. They were pickled so it didn't seem like too many at the time but now my stomach hates me. It's good to do that every now and then just to remind myself that I shouldn't do it.

So what else is new? Yesterday was my birthday and it was pretty non-exciting. I had a full day of classes and then came home and ate delicious tacos (my favorite) and watched Forrest Gump.

Oh, and I had raging PMS which was causing me to almost keep breaking into tears throughout the day.

So that was fun.

I'm feeling much better now. Well, except for my stomach hating me for eating peppers.

Right, anyways. Moving on.

School is kicking my ass. I mean, it's fine and I will get through it fine but I will actually have to WORK to do well. Boo on that. Do you want to know something sort of funny though?

I was receiving an acupuncture treatment in the student clinic today and one of my chronic problems is just a lack of qi or energy. This can manifest in the body in my ways- including the obvious one of just not having very much energy or get-up-and-go. So the clinic supervisor came in and was observing the student working on me and was talking to me. She is this little lady from China with a HORRIBLY thick and difficult to understand Chinese accent. And she likes to yell at me that I am trying to do too much and that I don't have the energy to be doing all of this, that I'm not super woman.

So today her advice to me was to just try to pass- not to stress out and try to get A's. Just pass- don't stress out- don't work too hard. So that's my excuse if I don't ace these tests that I have on Thursday and next week- my teacher told me not to study!

She did not, however, tell me to type blog posts instead of working on my powerpoint presentation for tomorrow. So I better be off. Just wanted to say hi.

first day of school

I, of course, had a nightmare last night about the first day of school. In the dream I really had to go to the bathroom (which is not unusual, I dream about that nightly and it wakes me up so that I can get up and go to the bathroom) but in the dream I had to pee but a class was about to start but a rock concert just let out so I was late to class because 50 people were in line before me to use the restroom.

However, my actual first day went smoothly. I'm not in love with my first class. She just throws lots of information at you. My second class has the best teacher ever. And my fellow classmates are amazing.

One of the things I learned in my first class, however, which I think is awesome is that in olden days in China doctors got paid based on how healthy their clients were. The healthier the clients, the more they were paid. So it was in a doctor's best interest to do preventative medicine and keep everyone super healthy. What a concept!

So the funniest thing that happened this weekend is that Mike and I went out to dinner last night. We were going to a nicer restaurant so I got all dolled up. We got on the bus together but there were no seats together so we were sitting across the aisle from each other. He reached over and put his hand on my leg and I (pretending that I didn't know him) slapped it away with a shocked look on my face! I heard a couple of sharp intakes of breath from people around me- who really believed that I didn't know him and some stranger had just tried to put his hand on my thigh. Until I exploded in giggles. Mike just shook his head and said, "You are such a jerk." It was hilarious!

I also had insufficient funds on my debit card today when I went to Trader Joes. Oops! That should have been embarrassing but I thought it was a mistake by the bank. Nope. I just forgot to transfer funds. Teehee. Sorry to the ten people in line behind me! Maybe I should start keeping a credit card in my wallet. They had to return half of my items so that I could pay for them with the cash I had on me.

Anyways, I've got lots of reading to do, and these classes might kick my butt a little but I am still way ahead of a lot of people in my class who are coming straight from Corporate America.

Time to go read!

grad school

Well, I did it. I got in to grad school and start on Tuesday. I have orientation tonight where I will meet my fellow students. Who knows, maybe I will meet some bosom friends?

My parents are happy because they like the idea of me being in legit school and getting my masters.

I am happy because I get to learn about Chinese medicine which appeals to the spiritual side of me.

What I love about Chinese medicine is that it makes energy work more tangible/physical. There are specific indicators that you can look at- like the tongue or the pulse or someone's finger nails that help you diagnose what is going on in the body.

I'm not knocking Western medicine and for an acute problem I would recommend everyone going to their doctor. You break your arm and you are not going to go see an acupuncturist.

Where I think Western medicine fails is in the preventative stage. Also in the idea of what being well and healthy is. Being healthy isn't simply not being sick. That's just the middle ground. Chinese medicine can help people feel great.

Anyways, I'll be able to tell you a lot more in a few years. But I wanted to write a blog post today because I'm about to set out on a big adventure and it'll be interesting to look back when I am done and see where I was.

So where am I? Living in Chicago in a tiny apartment. Which, to be fair, is huge by New York or Paris standards! And would be plenty big enough if I didn't have so much crap. No children, no pets, but one hell of an awesome husband. Still working at 1000 Waves and really enjoying that. A bit overweight but generally healthy. Trying to give up processed sugar and soda pop- and while it is not completely gone from my diet, it is getting much better.

So where do I hope to be in five years... in a house, with mike who has his brewery/restaurant thriving, with a kid or two and a dog or two and my own space to do massage/acupuncture and qi gong. I also want to see my sister married, my brother have a job he loves, my friends have significant others that they love and enough money that I don't have to feel super stressed out.

just do it

I'm a planner. I like to plan and scheme and dream. I do actually DO things as well. But I tend to hang out in the planning stage for a long time. Don't really rush into things. Not major life decisions anyways. Or do I?

I guess sometimes I just go with my gut. And it leads me to wonderful places.

And now my gut is telling me that I should go to acupuncture school and learn about Chinese medicine.

I'll admit that it's been in the back of my mind for years. But way back on a back burner. Yesterday was the first time that I started talking about wanting to actually do it. My mom told me that I should do it right now. Don't wait. My husband said HELL YES! (but that's just because he likes being my guinea pig!)

And so tomorrow I'm meeting with the admissions officer. And I've already hit a couple of people up for letters of reference.

And it is scary and exciting and new. And I'm loving that. I'm loving getting out of my comfort zone.

Break me wide open so the world can pour in

Holy emotional turbulence, Batman! What a day.

But before I get to that... doesn't it seem weird that we can have so much affection for things like the moon? But I really do love the moon.

Yesterday in shiatsu class we worked our Gallbladder and Liver meridians. To start the class we did a few stretches, a meditation and then a couple of qi gong exercises. And the exercises helped my jaw to finally release. My jaw has been "stuck" for months. Not terribly painful or anything, but somewhat uncomfortable. Like a bone/knuckle that needs to crack that you can't get to go. Or like needing to sneeze and it just won't come.

Well it finally released. And when you've been holding on to something for MONTHS and finally let it go, it's huge. It felt great. But the release of so much tension is overwhelming. So I felt a bit weepy. In a good way, but weepy still.

And then following class I had my free shiatsu session with Steve, the founder/ owner of my school.

Which starts by doing a client intake interview which is a lot of VERY personal questions. And I was weepy to begin with. And they were things that are not easy to talk about. Things that I thought I had gotten a lot better at talking about... but apparently that is just when my protective walls are up.

Because yesterday when my walls were down, suddenly it all felt so very raw.

And suddenly I was bawling on the table.

He starts by working in my hara (abdomen) and he hit the spot for Lungs (which ties in with grief and letting go) and I just lost it. I probably could have been broken open even more but I was a little resistant- I didn't really want to be sobbing on the table with this guy I barely know, so instead I was just heavily crying, instead of outright sobbing.

I hate the "emotional hangover" after a good cry though. And while a good cry is necessary and helpful every now and then, having a good cry in front of someone I don't know is NOT my idea of a good time.

And despite my Lung meridian making me cry so hard, it is actually my Stomach meridian that I need to work on- especially for getting pregnant.

Stomach is about appetite and NOURISHMENT. And while that does involve food and eating, it also means nourishing the soul. So I need to think about what nourishes my life- and do more of that. I was making a list yesterday and was laughing to Mike saying that this will be an excuse to pamper the heck out of myself. I NEED to get pedicures to nourish me so that I can get pregnant, baby! ;)

So obviously this is a short and random list of things that came to me during a five minute period last night but here are some of the things that I came up with that nourish my soul:

pictures of puppies and pandas

trees

the Lake

cuddling

puppets

laughter

getting body work

magic

yahtzee

connecting with people

fancy face cream

baths

swimming

good food

dipping my hand into a bag of beans/grain

using special glasses and plates

helping others

making others smile/laugh

having a clean house

looking pretty

letters

hanging out with friends

scented candles

mood lighting

peter lik photography

flowers

colors

pinterest

good books

working up a good sweat

picnics on the boulevard

fresh sheets

circuses

food art

monet’s paintings

music

a good hair wash

pedicures

baking

hedgehogs

yoga

tai chi

qi gong

tae kwon do

hula hooping

thankful lists

presents

eye lash extensions

good glass of wine

shaving with a good razor

lemony drink

sleeping naked

kisses

hugs

I realize that some of these seem a little bizarre- like "eye lash extensions." But hey, whatever works, right? 

What nourishes your soul???