Does worrying serve a purpose?
Bad things are either going to happen or they are not, but worrying about it just makes you unhappy for that much longer. You are worried and unhappy BEFORE the thing happens and then you are still unhappy when the thing DOES happen.
It isn't like if you worry about it, it suddenly doesn't suck when it does happen.
So shouldn't we just go around being blissfully happy until something bad DOES happen?
I'm not saying we shouldn't think about things. Like we should think about the fact that someone COULD break into our homes and we should try to protect ourselves. But should we worry every night about whether or not someone is going to try to break into our homes? That seems like a lot of stress over a possible nothing.
The only thing that I can possibly say in defense of worrying is that it prepares you. But I'm not sure how good of a defense that even is.
To be blindsided by something bad happening, to go from being perfectly happy to perfectly miserable... yeah, that is a big fall and it is going to be very hard to deal with.
But I contend that if something bad happens that it is going to hurt just the same whether I was happy before it or whether I had already made myself miserable in preparation for it.
So worrying is just robbing me of the potential happiness that I could have in the time before bad things happen.
I think we think that worrying makes us better people. More caring people because we are constantly worrying about bad things rather than enjoying life. Not worrying does not make you shallow and uncaring. Not worrying makes you appreciate the good things and not borrow trouble.
So I will just stop worrying. Right? That's how it works, right? I just make the decision to turn that off and I am done? Oh, you mean that's not how that works? I see.
Maybe I should worry about the fact that I can't stop worrying. :) See how fun this game can be?
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Taking action ALWAYS helps! Always! Whether or not you are talking about your momma, we had a blast making a book of love notes for my mother in law. It took a little time and creativity, and time, did I mention that? To contact the people who love her dearly and would want to contribute, but it is the sweetest book of love I have ever seen.
ReplyDeleteFinding something to do...anything...to take some sort of action, at the very, very least makes you feel a little more in control of whatever is worrying you. And at the most, something beautiful will happen for someone else, and therefore you, from whatever action you take.
Hang in there! SMOOCH!
Dr. Tom talks about worrying with me a lot (obviously). He makes me think about each situation like a test. Worrying about a test, and therefore cramming for it and thinking about it and running through the possible questions, etc. can be beneficial. And in some cases worrying can actually be beneficial - mentally preparing yourself or doing imaginative exposures can be helpful. But only sometimes. So I try to think about whether this worrying is helping me at all. And if it's not, then I have to think about the harm it's doing to me and try to focus on something else instead. Easier said than done, but it's a good barometer.
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