I just read about another slew of celebrity divorces.
I was just thinking about marriages and divorces while riding the train yesterday. I was wondering if nowadays if people just don't realize what they are getting into and that is why we end up having so many more divorces. By "what they are getting into" I mean that marriages are really hard and you have to work at them.
Or is this not something new at all, is it just more socially acceptable now. If it were as socially acceptable 100 years ago, would there have been just as many divorces back then?
Is it just a combination of everything... of a turn away from religion, women now in the workplace instead of staying at home, it being more socially acceptable, a shift in values as a society away from "duty" towards "personal happiness"??
As an unmarried 31 year old woman, I see getting married as this big goal and that everything will be great once that happens. Everything in my life will be settled and easy from that point on.
Um, yeah, I am a reasonably intelligent person, and yet for whatever reason in my mind that is what I think.
Why on earth would I think that when I see the divorce rates? And not even just the divorce rates, but the number of unhappy marriages that I see?
Is marriage worth it? Is it just an old stupid tradition that we are hanging onto? Or is it worth it? I've never been married (thankfully!) so I can't really say, you tell me.
I could write a BOOK. We clearly do marriage ALL WRONG, and no, no one knows what they are saying when they get married. People should have to live together for a minumum of 5years and then have 2 children together before being able to apply for a license. You should be eligible to get married after 10 years of parenting and being together. By then, most people would see that they don't need to be married to be committed to eachother. I don't believe it's a GOD thing, to get married- "married" or not married don't mean anything in the big picture (in my own, of course), and the tax break is nice, but come on...if that's not government steering us, what is?
ReplyDeleteOn the flip side, EVERYONE should be able to get married if they so choose. EVERYONE.
But I see clearly why the divorce rate is so high, infidelity even higher. We are doing something very, very wrong. In my own. There are some people who make it 50 years, 30 years, whatever, and YAY for them. They are in the minority.
I love bieng married just as much as I think we do it alllll wrong. 14 years in. Ain't too much we haven't seen, and yet there must be. Hardest work ever, and most rewarding ever- right after parenting I guess. Parents know unconditional love and no matter how much you love your spouse, it's not unconditional. <--- I'm sure someone might disagree with me on that, but to me, the two loves are COMPLETELY different.
That's the shortest version of my thoughts on that that I can choke out right now.