I can see!!!

On Friday night I had LASIK surgery. I kept waiting to get nervous. I mean, for Christ's sake, they are taking a laser to my eye ball, that's something to get nervous about, right? But it just didn't happen. I was excited. Giddy. A little worried that at the last minute they would sorry, but you aren't a good candidate. But I never really got nervous.

After they gave me another eye exam (they are unbelievably thorough) and made me watch another video (of what to expect and frequently asked questions) they took me back into the doctor's office where I finally met the doctor who was to perform my surgery. The most interesting things that he told me was that if I wash my hands but then don't thoroughly dry them afterwards it doesn't really count as washing them. Also I am not allowed to wear any make-up for a week. This has really cut down on my time getting ready in the mornings. I mean, I only ever spent about ten minutes getting ready in the first place, but now that I don't have to put in contacts or put on make-up, it takes no time at all.

He told me that in a week from now when I do start wearing eye make-up again, I have to wear all new make-up. To avoid infections. It is just more sanitary. In a month I can go back to my old make-up.

And then they took me into the room with the "laser." They make me lay down on a little bed and then they handed me a stuffed teddy bear to hold on to. That was such a good idea. I wasn't freaking out, but just having that teddy bear to hold on to really helped me stay calm. I asked if they always had the teddy bear or if after doing a bunch of these surgeries they finally figured out that people needed something to hold. They have always had it. They laughed about the big, macho tough guys who grasp onto it for dear life. They also have a stuffed sheep but it is much less popular.

At one point the doctor said to me, "Don't worry, your eye isn't burning." Which I thought was an odd thing to say because I wasn't worried that my eye was burning. It hadn't even occured to me. Sort of like if you went up to someone on the street and said, "Don't worry, your hair's not on fire." But then a few seconds later I started to smell the burning smell that was coming from the laser. It turns out it was a good thing he told me that it wasn't coming from me, because that is not the smell you want to smell when you are taking a laser to your eye ball.

The entire procedure lasted less than five minutes. They don't give you any real medication but they put a lot of numbing drops in your eyes. It's weird to have somebody touching your eyes and you can't even feel it. The part that I was worried about the most was where they put something directly on your eye to keep the eye open and stop it from moving around and your vision fades out for a few seconds.

I was worried that I was going to panic and jump out of the chair, yelling, "I'm blind! I'm blind!"

I didn't.

In fact, it didn't even bother me. And the thing that they put on my eye wasn't scary either. I was picturing some big suction cup or a vacuum attached to my eye. I didn't even really see what it was but it wasn't a big deal.

Then they have you stare into a blinking red light for 40 seconds on each eye. And then you are pretty much done.

Maybe it was easier for me because I have been putting contacts in my eyes for the last 16 years so I am used to poking myself in the eye and having stuff in my eyes doesn't bother me. Maybe it was easier for me because without my glasses on I am practically completely blind so I couldn't really see what they were doing during the surgery. But it was a piece of cake.

My vision was a little blurry afterwards but right away I could read the clock that was on the wall. That's insane. Without my glasses I would have guessed that the round blob on the wall was PROBABLY a clock, but I couldn't have told you for sure.

That night they tell you to go straight to bed because the next four hours are the worst. There is no sharp pain, but there was a dull pain behind my eyes as though I was starting to get a headache. I went home, took some Advil, put in some eye drops, donned my awesome goggles that I have to wear while showering and sleeping for the next week and went to sleep. Sure enough, when I woke up around midnight, the pain was gone.

My eyes are a little bit dry, which is to be expected while I recover, but not painfully so and eye drops take care of that. The worst part, in my opinion, is the steroids drops I have to put in my eyes that actually leave a gross, metallic taste in the back of my mouth. But even that is tolerable, just a little unpleasant and I only have to take them for four more days.

I woke up the morning after my surgery and looked around and started to cry. Sure, I could see my clock without having to put on glasses. That was great. But that wasn't why I was crying. I was crying because my vision is amazing. I never saw this well with glasses. It is like a whole new world. I suspected that people could see this well, but didn't believe that I would ever be able to. For the past few years my vision has deteriorated and I was having trouble seeing stuff like street signs. I'd go to the doctor thinking that I needed a new prescription and they'd say my prescription was fine. WTF?? I am guessing the problem was my astigmastism, which also got corrected with the surgery.

It is amazing. I wish I did this years ago. I can see!!! You silly people with your awesome vision have no idea how amazing this is. It seriously is a miracle. If Jesus really existed and cured people's blindness, I can understand why they would follow him around and worship him.

I just can't stop looking at stuff. In the car with my sister I would point out signs and tell her what they said. She was like, "Uh-huh, I know."

I'm sitting here doing my little happy dance in my chair because I am just that excited. This rocks!

And I just checked one thing off of my "to do before I die" list. Go me!