meltdowns

Older siblings really get the short end of the stick. And this is coming from a youngest child, mind you.

While hanging out with my nieces this weekend, I would see Lily, the five-year old, constantly have to give up stuff to the three-year old, Ella. Why? Because we knew that Lily could control herself and live with the disappointment whereas we didn't want to deal with Ella's meltdowns. How fair is that? Not fair at all!

But it does amaze me how many times a day little kids can break into tears. A) they seem to fall and hurt themselves a lot. I'm not sure if they just have low pain tolerances. Or if my nieces are unusually clumsy. But that happens at least ten times a day. And B) they cry out of disappointment.

It got me thinking about being an adult. I don't think our feelings change as we get older... we just learn to control them better. Can you imagine if we broke out into tears because our favorite TV show was not shown because of a stupid important breaking news cast? We don't. But is it healthier to keep all of our disappointments bottled in like we do?

I don't know if it is healthier, but I know that I don't want to deal with crying people all day long, so I am glad we learn to control it.

easter bunny

There is nothing, and I mean NOTHING, like walking in the door after a long day at work to find a man dressed as a giant bunny in your kitchen!

While that in and of itself, is always fun. It was ten times better because the man was a stranger!

Okay, so it turns out it was our friend's cousin, but I had never met him before. I'm still not sure how they convinced him to put the Bunny suit on. But we had an impromptu egg hunt and the girls were thrilled!

I mean, who doesn't love a visit from the Easter Bunny?

the massage from hell

How hard is it to receive a massage? You would think that it would be the easiest thing in the world, right? All you have to do is f'ing lay there and relax!

Some people are really good at receiving massage. Some people are pretty good at it but still lock up their arms or neck when you try to work them.

And then some people are like the client I had today.

Two of the other therapists that I work with have already refused to work on this woman. I asked not to be put with her but she keeps requesting me which makes that awkward so I have just said okay and worked with her.

We think that she has fibromyalgia, though her stupid doctor said that she didn't. Not that he did any tests on her or anything, or even checked out her body, he just told her it was all in her head. How is a doctor like that still practicing??

Anywho, she is a massage therapist's worst nightmare. Not only does she like to micro-manage the massage, telling you what body part to work when (and it switches every two minutes) but she only like clockwise circles. Seriously. Clockwise circles on her body for an hour.

Normally, I just suck it up and do it. Today she took it to new lows. Asking me to do annoying things that were physically impossible.

I almost stopped the massage after ten minutes and told her we would just give her her money back.

I finished the massage but was practically in tears by the end.

That sounds crazy as I write it now. How could this woman have affected me so negatively? It isn't like she was a mean person. But she is an energy sucking black hole.

And she is crazy.

Thank goodness I have been doing this for a while, because if I had had a client like her in my first few months as a massage therapist, I am pretty sure I would have quit.

Okay, deep breath. It is over. I am never working on her again. Time to regroup and move on.

mask

I had read about giant South American ground sloths before and I had sort of suspected the author of making them up. Here is proof that they existed!



I got this sweet Triceratops mask at the museum. After I left and as we were walking along the lakefront bike path, it got pretty cold and I like to amuse people so I put the mask back on. The mask was really warm, hence why it being cold matters.

The interesting thing about living in a big city like Chicago, is that most people don't even bat an eye when they see weird things like a girl wearing at Triceratops mask. Though it did make quite a few people smile or do double-takes.

My favorite was the one guy who was running past and sees the mask and starts to call out to me. What does he say?

"Hey... nice shoes!"

Raaarw!

So first I had my bird scare, then as I was sitting at the Field waiting for my friend to get there, I saw this...



And while this is meant to entertain little kids, when it suddenly pops up on the balcony directly above your head and lets out a very loud and unexpected roar, it can really scare the daylights out of a girl!

suddenly the song makes so much more sense

Do you know what this is???



It's a picture of the crazy-ass bird that attacked me yesterday!

I was just minding my own business, walking towards the Field Museum when this bird lands on my head! He scratched at my head with his sharp little talons and pulled my hair. I actually had to whack at him with my hand!

Of course, the one person who saw this was just laughin' and laughin'! Thanks Mr. Oh-so-helpful Grounds Crew Guy!

Apparently red-winged blackbirds make elaborately beautiful nests and wanted my luscious locks as part of that.

But as I was leaving the museum and saw some more of these birds, I saw one attack a seagull for no apparent reason, so maybe the bird is just a jerk!

I've never disliked a bird so much in my life. I would gladly take four and twenty blackbirds and bake them in a pie!

conflict

We always complain when we have problems but can you imagine life in which we had no problems? Where everything just works perfectly?

How mind-numbingly boring would that be?

We need conflict to grow. What if the cavemen had lived in a temperate setting and never gotten cold and had no animals chasing after them? There would have been no impetus to figure out how to control fire.

How we deal with conflicts is what makes us into the people we are. What has made you into the person you are? I bet it wasn't that amazing day when you got up late, ate some food, chilled out for a while on a beach and ate some more and then went to bed.

So why is there good and evil in this world? Because there needs to be. Otherwise we would get lethargic and complacent and do nothing and be nothing. We'd be blobs on auto-pilot.

I can't say that I always enjoy the conflicts but for today I am feeling very zen and thankful for their part in my life, in making me into me.