Think about your friends for a minute. Why are you friends with these people? Because they are awesome, because they are funny, because they are smart. Right? Sure, but I think a big reason that people overlook is that you are friends because you came in contact with them. That is sort of a key step to becoming friends with someone.
Let's take college for example. My best friend and I met because we were both on the soccer team. But what if she hadn't played soccer her freshman year? We only had one class together our entire four years at school and that was because we finally chose a class our senior year just so we could be together. We lived in different dorms. We would possibly have never met. But because we did meet and I, therefore, was on her floor all hours of the day and night, I ended up meeting her roommate Dotty who is a very good friend of mine now and Dave who lived down the hall and who I ended up dating for a few years and David who was a SWA for that dorm and is now my penpal. But to become friends with these amazing people, I first had to meet them. That's sort of how it works.
When I first joined Facebook I was only "friends" with people that I was legitimately friends with in real life. But I don't think that is the point of Facebook. So nowadays I will befriend acquaintances that I like and that I wish I knew better. And Facebook is a nice, non-invasive way to do that.
I've come to know more about some of those acquaintances and realized that if we had ever actually gotten to know one another, we would be really good friends. I can just tell.
I met my friend's wife for the first time at their wedding. Yet we had heard a lot about each other through her husband. I thought she summed it up perfectly when she said, "If we only knew each other, I think we would be really good friends."
I've started hanging out with some girls from high school this past year. Notice how I didn't say friends from high school. We were not friends in high school. I met them for the first time at our 10 year high school reunion. And I adore them. There is no reason for us not to have been friends back in the day. Maybe if I had had a class with them back in high school or been on a team with them we would have become friends back then. And yet, we probably walked by each other in the hallways a million times. They were right there.
Just think about how many potentially awesome friends you have missed out on. That girl who sat on the bus next to me last week, maybe she would have become my best friend if we had started talking. The guy behind me at Chipotle last month, maybe he would be my boyfriend now if I had said hello.
Granted, meeting someone isn't a sure fire way to guarantee that you will become friends. I've meet plenty of people that I don't like.
But not meeting them pretty much stops you from becoming friends.
I don't know. In some ways it makes me a little sad knowing that I was potentially so close to meeting these awesome people. But mainly it just makes me happy knowing that there are still so many awesome people out there that I could end up being really great friends with. And, of course, I am thankful for the wonderful people that I did meet and that I am friends with. Love you guys!
Monday, August 31, 2009
Sunday, August 30, 2009
quotes
I love quotes. I think my love of quotes started in high school. My sophomore year English teacher and I didn't get along that well, until the very end of the year. I can't remember why we didn't get along or why we suddenly clicked but we ended up being good friends. For the next two years I would visit her class in the mornings before school. She would put a quote on the board every day. She let me go through her big box of quotes and choose one. Occasionally she had specific ones that she wanted that tied into whatever her class was reading but usually I got to pick whatever struck my fancy.
It's because of teachers like her that I occasionally think about going back to school and becoming an English teacher. And then I remember what all my friends who have either become teachers or tried to become teachers have told me about their experiences. You don't just get to teach prospective Carleton students who love to read and learn. You have to teach the pesky little students too. The ones who don't want to be there and want to make your life a living hell. No thanks.
Where was I going with this? Sorry, I am very hung over right now. Quotes. Right, quotes. My new favorite quote that I ran across a few months ago and that has really stayed with me is:
"Just think how happy you would be if you lost everything you have right now, and then got it all back again."
It's so true. I have so much to lose. I have my health, I have my family, my friends, my teeth, my looks, my athletic ability, my house, my job, my possessions, my safety, my security, my brain.
I would hate to lose any of that. So who cares if I didn't win the huge lotto jackpot on Friday? I've still got an amazing life.
It's because of teachers like her that I occasionally think about going back to school and becoming an English teacher. And then I remember what all my friends who have either become teachers or tried to become teachers have told me about their experiences. You don't just get to teach prospective Carleton students who love to read and learn. You have to teach the pesky little students too. The ones who don't want to be there and want to make your life a living hell. No thanks.
Where was I going with this? Sorry, I am very hung over right now. Quotes. Right, quotes. My new favorite quote that I ran across a few months ago and that has really stayed with me is:
"Just think how happy you would be if you lost everything you have right now, and then got it all back again."
It's so true. I have so much to lose. I have my health, I have my family, my friends, my teeth, my looks, my athletic ability, my house, my job, my possessions, my safety, my security, my brain.
I would hate to lose any of that. So who cares if I didn't win the huge lotto jackpot on Friday? I've still got an amazing life.
Thursday, August 27, 2009
recipe for disaster
Um, so I was going through some of my old notebooks trying to find this scene I had written for my book a few years ago. I didn't find it, but I did find some other things that I had written and forgotten about.
Some of the things I had written were kind of funny. Some were insightful. Some were poems. Some were stories. Some were just random sentences. This one was obviously written when I was not in a happy place. I don't remember writing it but it is in my handwriting. I have to laugh when I read it because it is a little ridiculous. I don't think that was the reaction I was going for when I wrote it, but then again, I don't remember writing it, so maybe it was. Without further ado, here it is:
Recipe for Disaster
In a bowl, mix all your hopes and wishes and dreams
Whip until bright and fluffy and full of light
Now add in a boy
Mix until the love surrounds everything
Now add:
2 Tablespoons of mean
1 empty message pad from when he never called
1 cute outfit that you never wore because he never showed up
2 ounces of forgetfulness
Add a half cup of pain
1 cup of hurt
In a seperate bowl bring four gallons of tears to a boil
Slowly stir in disappointment and pride and simmer for many days
Add enough salt to cover all your wounds
Shread your old love letters
Seperate the words that were true from those that were a pack of lies
Add a dash of bitterness
Now beat until the light in your eyes fades to a dull glow
And you've got yourself a broken heart
Some of the things I had written were kind of funny. Some were insightful. Some were poems. Some were stories. Some were just random sentences. This one was obviously written when I was not in a happy place. I don't remember writing it but it is in my handwriting. I have to laugh when I read it because it is a little ridiculous. I don't think that was the reaction I was going for when I wrote it, but then again, I don't remember writing it, so maybe it was. Without further ado, here it is:
Recipe for Disaster
In a bowl, mix all your hopes and wishes and dreams
Whip until bright and fluffy and full of light
Now add in a boy
Mix until the love surrounds everything
Now add:
2 Tablespoons of mean
1 empty message pad from when he never called
1 cute outfit that you never wore because he never showed up
2 ounces of forgetfulness
Add a half cup of pain
1 cup of hurt
In a seperate bowl bring four gallons of tears to a boil
Slowly stir in disappointment and pride and simmer for many days
Add enough salt to cover all your wounds
Shread your old love letters
Seperate the words that were true from those that were a pack of lies
Add a dash of bitterness
Now beat until the light in your eyes fades to a dull glow
And you've got yourself a broken heart
books
Hi everyone!
Guess what? This is my 100th blog post! How exciting. I can't believe I am at 100 posts already. I guess I had a lot to say. Not a lot of important things to say, but still, a lot to say.
So what to blog about on this historic post? I guess I'll just blog about what I was going to blog about before I realized that it was my 100th post.
Books.
I love books. I can't even begin to tell you the role that books have played in my life.
I once complained that my parents didn't read to me as a child, because I can't remember it. They were actually upset when I said that. Apparently I was the most well read to child ever. I don't remember it at all. I can't tell you what my favorite book was when I was four years old. (Isn't it sort of sad that we put so much effort into raising these toddlers/ small children and they aren't even going to remember it when they grow up!?!)
The first book that I remember being read was The Happy Hollisters. My sister Chris would read it to me before bed. I LOVED it. So much so that when we were finished with that first book I read the entire rest of the series by myself.
When I was in fifth grade our teacher read us A Wrinkle In Time. It seems like fifth grade is a little old to still be being read to but it is one of my fonder memories and it really helped our class calm down.
I was joking that when I had my Lasik eye surgery done that my sister could read me a book that night since I wasn't supposed to be using my eyes. She didn't. Why is it that we don't get read to as adults anymore? Probably because it is a pain in the butt for the reader and we can just do it ourselves. But I miss it.
My then-boyfriend Matt and I were driving from Minnesota to Chicago and it is about a seven hour trip. I HATE to drive so Matt made me a deal that if I would read aloud to him (we were both reading the new Harry Potter book that had come out) that he would drive the whole way. So I did. By the way, it is really hard on your voice to read aloud for that long. And there were a lot of words in the Harry Potter series that I did not know how to pronounce. I just made up my own words.
Books are awesome. My sister asked me the other day how I felt about Kindle. In principle I know it is a good idea. Better for the environment. A space saver. Convenient. But it still just feels so wrong. Because it isn't just reading that I love, it is actual books. I love the feel of the cover. I love the heft of the weight in my hands. I love the smell of the book. I love how they get faded and "well loved looking" in time. I love how you can see how far along you are by seeing how many pages are left. I love that you can burn them as fuel when you start getting cold. I love to see it sitting on my night stand, like a friend waiting for me. I love books.
Guess what? This is my 100th blog post! How exciting. I can't believe I am at 100 posts already. I guess I had a lot to say. Not a lot of important things to say, but still, a lot to say.
So what to blog about on this historic post? I guess I'll just blog about what I was going to blog about before I realized that it was my 100th post.
Books.
I love books. I can't even begin to tell you the role that books have played in my life.
I once complained that my parents didn't read to me as a child, because I can't remember it. They were actually upset when I said that. Apparently I was the most well read to child ever. I don't remember it at all. I can't tell you what my favorite book was when I was four years old. (Isn't it sort of sad that we put so much effort into raising these toddlers/ small children and they aren't even going to remember it when they grow up!?!)
The first book that I remember being read was The Happy Hollisters. My sister Chris would read it to me before bed. I LOVED it. So much so that when we were finished with that first book I read the entire rest of the series by myself.
When I was in fifth grade our teacher read us A Wrinkle In Time. It seems like fifth grade is a little old to still be being read to but it is one of my fonder memories and it really helped our class calm down.
I was joking that when I had my Lasik eye surgery done that my sister could read me a book that night since I wasn't supposed to be using my eyes. She didn't. Why is it that we don't get read to as adults anymore? Probably because it is a pain in the butt for the reader and we can just do it ourselves. But I miss it.
My then-boyfriend Matt and I were driving from Minnesota to Chicago and it is about a seven hour trip. I HATE to drive so Matt made me a deal that if I would read aloud to him (we were both reading the new Harry Potter book that had come out) that he would drive the whole way. So I did. By the way, it is really hard on your voice to read aloud for that long. And there were a lot of words in the Harry Potter series that I did not know how to pronounce. I just made up my own words.
Books are awesome. My sister asked me the other day how I felt about Kindle. In principle I know it is a good idea. Better for the environment. A space saver. Convenient. But it still just feels so wrong. Because it isn't just reading that I love, it is actual books. I love the feel of the cover. I love the heft of the weight in my hands. I love the smell of the book. I love how they get faded and "well loved looking" in time. I love how you can see how far along you are by seeing how many pages are left. I love that you can burn them as fuel when you start getting cold. I love to see it sitting on my night stand, like a friend waiting for me. I love books.
Tuesday, August 25, 2009
snoozing
Do you know that feeling where you aren't necessarily super tired but you don't want to get out of bed yet because your body is just so dang comfortable? Your muscles are completely relaxed, you are the perfect temperature, you don't have to pee and the sheets and blankets feel so soft? You are so happy and you don't want to get out of bed quite yet and then you realize that you don't have to?
Yeah, that's the best.
Happy Tuesday!
Yeah, that's the best.
Happy Tuesday!
Monday, August 24, 2009
the path not taken
What is your biggest regret in life?
They say that often times the things you regret the most are the things you DIDN'T do, not the things you did do.
I would say that my biggest regret is not going to Mali, Africa on the study abroad program in the winter of my junior year of college. I was already going to Paris, France that spring and it just seemed like too much time away and too much money. I wish I had gone. What a wasted opportunity. I daydream about calling up Cherif and asking him if I can tag along with the current students the next time he goes.
How would it have changed and influenced me? I'll never know. But every decision we make ends up changing us in some way or other.
Had I gone to Cornell instead of Carleton I would have had a completely different life. I never would have met Jamie. I would have taken soccer much more seriously. And I probably wouldn't have been a French Major. It would be interesting to see how my life had turned out if I went to Cornell, but I don't regret my decision to go to Carleton. Not for a second.
Nor do I regret the relationships I've had. I don't regret having them (because I learned something from each of them) nor do I regret ending them because they weren't right for me.
I could be living in Minnesota, married with children right now. That could be my life. I'm glad it's not. That just wasn't for me. (For all my Minnesotan readers, I am not knocking it, it just wasn't for me!)
I could be married to a Chicago cop, seeing him become more and more bitter as the years wore on. No thanks.
I could be living the high life in New York. Never bored but never a moment's peace. Nope.
I don't have any regrets in regards to my relationships. Ya know why? Because I tried them. I gave them my all. I don't have to wonder what would have happened if I had just been more patient or tried a little harder. I tried as hard as I could.
I'm working on my novel writing skills right now. It is something that I've wanted to do since I was about eight years old and though it may not amount to much, I don't want to regret not giving it a serious try. I don't want to look back in twenty years and wonder, "what if?"
That's my new goal in life. I never want to have to wonder, "What if?"
They say that often times the things you regret the most are the things you DIDN'T do, not the things you did do.
I would say that my biggest regret is not going to Mali, Africa on the study abroad program in the winter of my junior year of college. I was already going to Paris, France that spring and it just seemed like too much time away and too much money. I wish I had gone. What a wasted opportunity. I daydream about calling up Cherif and asking him if I can tag along with the current students the next time he goes.
How would it have changed and influenced me? I'll never know. But every decision we make ends up changing us in some way or other.
Had I gone to Cornell instead of Carleton I would have had a completely different life. I never would have met Jamie. I would have taken soccer much more seriously. And I probably wouldn't have been a French Major. It would be interesting to see how my life had turned out if I went to Cornell, but I don't regret my decision to go to Carleton. Not for a second.
Nor do I regret the relationships I've had. I don't regret having them (because I learned something from each of them) nor do I regret ending them because they weren't right for me.
I could be living in Minnesota, married with children right now. That could be my life. I'm glad it's not. That just wasn't for me. (For all my Minnesotan readers, I am not knocking it, it just wasn't for me!)
I could be married to a Chicago cop, seeing him become more and more bitter as the years wore on. No thanks.
I could be living the high life in New York. Never bored but never a moment's peace. Nope.
I don't have any regrets in regards to my relationships. Ya know why? Because I tried them. I gave them my all. I don't have to wonder what would have happened if I had just been more patient or tried a little harder. I tried as hard as I could.
I'm working on my novel writing skills right now. It is something that I've wanted to do since I was about eight years old and though it may not amount to much, I don't want to regret not giving it a serious try. I don't want to look back in twenty years and wonder, "what if?"
That's my new goal in life. I never want to have to wonder, "What if?"
Sunday, August 23, 2009
"in love" vs "love"
Have you ever been in love?
I was talking to one of my favorite coworkers the other day and discovered that she has never been in love. Say what?!? With some people that wouldn't come as a surprise. I would just think to myself, "Yeah, you're ugly and I don't like you. I can see why you've never been in love." But my coworker is AMAZING. And pretty and loving and lovable. So it came as a shock to me that she has never been in love.
She has been in relationships and has loved people but has never been "in love." And I think there is definitely a big difference. I love my parents but I'm not in love with them. I loved my dog but I wasn't in love with him. I love my friends but am not in love with them.
We are surrounded by movies and songs and books that talk about love and being in love. We are bombarded with it. To the point where if you haven't been in love you start to ask- well why not? What's wrong with me? Am I incapable of falling in love?
I think everyone is capable of falling in love. But you do need the right person. You can't force it. Speaking as someone who has done their fair share of dating (no comments from the peanut gallery) you don't fall in love with everyone you date, not by a long shot.
But should you date someone you aren't in love with? I realize those feelings of being "in love" can fade but shouldn't you have them at some point?
I've seen marriages where two people come together who love each other and then years later the marriage falls apart when one of them meets someone else and falls "in love." And while I was angry at the guy at first for throwing his marriage away, I can't say that I totally blame him. He had never been in love before. Until he met this new woman he didn't even know that he could feel this way. But now that he knows that he CAN feel this way, how is he supposed to be happy with what he and his wife had?
Being in love is a really strong and powerful feeling. And I don't think it is necessarily just the excitement and newness of the relationship that makes it seem so strong, but it is an actual different feeling than simply loving someone. Not that love should be underrated. Love is amazing. Love is powerful. But being in love is like love on heroine. It's intense. It's something that I think everyone should experience. It's awesome. It's a pretty valid legal defense: "I know that my actions were ridiculous, your Honor, but I was in love!"
I was talking to one of my favorite coworkers the other day and discovered that she has never been in love. Say what?!? With some people that wouldn't come as a surprise. I would just think to myself, "Yeah, you're ugly and I don't like you. I can see why you've never been in love." But my coworker is AMAZING. And pretty and loving and lovable. So it came as a shock to me that she has never been in love.
She has been in relationships and has loved people but has never been "in love." And I think there is definitely a big difference. I love my parents but I'm not in love with them. I loved my dog but I wasn't in love with him. I love my friends but am not in love with them.
We are surrounded by movies and songs and books that talk about love and being in love. We are bombarded with it. To the point where if you haven't been in love you start to ask- well why not? What's wrong with me? Am I incapable of falling in love?
I think everyone is capable of falling in love. But you do need the right person. You can't force it. Speaking as someone who has done their fair share of dating (no comments from the peanut gallery) you don't fall in love with everyone you date, not by a long shot.
But should you date someone you aren't in love with? I realize those feelings of being "in love" can fade but shouldn't you have them at some point?
I've seen marriages where two people come together who love each other and then years later the marriage falls apart when one of them meets someone else and falls "in love." And while I was angry at the guy at first for throwing his marriage away, I can't say that I totally blame him. He had never been in love before. Until he met this new woman he didn't even know that he could feel this way. But now that he knows that he CAN feel this way, how is he supposed to be happy with what he and his wife had?
Being in love is a really strong and powerful feeling. And I don't think it is necessarily just the excitement and newness of the relationship that makes it seem so strong, but it is an actual different feeling than simply loving someone. Not that love should be underrated. Love is amazing. Love is powerful. But being in love is like love on heroine. It's intense. It's something that I think everyone should experience. It's awesome. It's a pretty valid legal defense: "I know that my actions were ridiculous, your Honor, but I was in love!"
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