don't read this

I am warning you now, you don't want to read this post.

Trust me, you don't.

You are still reading? Well, don't say I didn't warn you...

We have some visitors in town, staying with us for a few days. Alan is an opthamologist. He is also in the Air Force reserves and has served some time overseas.

We were talking about some of the "interesting" things he has seen.

Again, stop reading this, you don't want to know about this...

When he was in Saudi Arabia they had a bit of a problem with Sheep Bot Flies.

Do you want to know what sheep bot flies do?

You don't.

I wish I didn't know.

They fly into your eye and deposit their larvae!

And then Alan has to take his tweezers and a big magnifying glass and individually remove all of the little larvae from your eyes!

I was going to post a picture of this but it grossed me out so much that I couldn't do it.

I told you that you didn't want to know. Yeck!

don't be insulted

There are certain phrases that you should never begin a conversation with, such as "Don't take this the wrong way..." or "I don't mean to be rude but..."

Yesterday a woman sitting behind me on the el tapped me on the shoulder.

I turned around and she said, "Excuse me, can I tell you something? But I don't want you to be insulted..."

Oh brother! How can that sentence lead to anything good?

But my curiosity got the better of me so I said, "Sure."

And she responds, "The Lord loves you very much. He knows and He cares."

Well, that was a LOT better than what I expected her to say! And that was coming from a place of love so I said, "Thank you," and started to turn back around.

She said that some people get insulted when they hear that but she just wanted me to know.

My question is if she says that to everyone? Did she just have a powerful vision and really see how much the Lord loves me? Did I have an upset look on my face and did she think I needed comfort?

I was not insulted. Mainly I was just relieved that she wasn't telling me that I had bird poop on the back of my shirt, which is what my first thought was.

high heels

I want to wear high heels. I do.

As my friend quoted to me the other night, "Flats are for quitters."

I can give you all sorts of reasons why I don't wear high heels. They are uncomfortable for my wider feet, there is a much greater chance that I will re-sprain an ankle in them, they are bad for your body alignment (but keep wearing them girls because they are great for my business!), I have to walk a couple of miles daily to get to and from work, and I have to go through some seedy areas where I want to be able to protect myself by being able to either run or fight someone at a moment's notice. I just feel safer in flat shoes.

That being said, I wish I was one of those cute girls wearing high heels. I'm always amazed when I see people wear high heels. Even more amazed if their faces aren't contorted into a rictus of pain.

I often wonder how people can do it. And for some of the people I know their trick... they don't walk in them. They walk to their car/taxi, get in, and arrive right at their destination. Even I could do that in heels. My friend and I had to park two measly blocks away from our destination the other day and she was complaining because her shoes were uncomfortable to walk in. How does she get around all day?

But other people DO walk in them. I was at a concert on Monday night when my friends and I saw a girl in three-inch heels. And not just heels, but stilettos. My friends and I all looked at each other and started laughing saying "She's gonna regret that by the end of the night!"

But by the end of the night, she was still going strong, laughing and smiling and dancing up a storm. I would have been hobbled, sprawled in a corner applying neosporin to my blisters. More power to her! Of course, she did have the benefit of being completely wasted. I'd like to see how her feet and body were doing the next morning! Then again, I've heard that some people's feet were just designed to wear heels (like Carrie Bradshaw!) which makes sense because there are some people whose feet are designed to never wear heels (like me!)

Pictionary

I love board games.

I don't need a reason to play, just an opportunity.

And I don't mean to brag, but I am pretty good at them.

There is one game in particular that I love and that I rock at... Pictionary.

For those of you who live under a rock, Pictionary is a game where you read a clue (usually one word) and then have a limited amount of time to draw it.

What I've learned over the years is that people with artistic abilities often kind of suck at this game. Why? Because they spend way too much time with their drawings. They actually want what they are drawing to look like what they are trying to draw. I know better. I know that if I draw a blob with a little thing dangling off the lower right side that everyone will guess "The United States!" It's like this game was made for people like me who can only draw stick figures.

I'm good at this game in general but my sister Sam and I have this weird sister connection. It only comes out in Picitonary. But for some reasons it is like our minds meld into one and I know what she is trying to draw before her pen hits the paper. Our family recognized this a long time ago and now forbids us to be partners when we play.

Our new family friend Allison had never seen us play and nothing we said could convince her that we weren't cheating.


Cheating? Us?!? Heavens, no! I mean, obviously everyone could tell that this is "Galileo." I mean, what else could it possibly be. Soooo obvious.






And this one took me a little longer than usual but it is obviously "kidnapped."

If only Win, Lose or Draw was still on TV so that my sister and I could use our amazing talent to actually win some money!

writing style

I wonder how hard it is to change one's writing style/voice?

Whenever I read a particularly well-written book I think about how I should change my writing to sound more enjoyable, to sound more like the author that I am reading that day.

I'll be honest, I don't put that much time and energy into these posts. I sit down and write and just let it flow and very, very rarely do I edit. Some of my friends write beautiful blog posts but since they put a couple of hours into each post, that means they rarely find the time to post, maybe two a month.

I'm not going to change my style because this is me and it's better to be me (flawed as I am) than a copy of someone else. Though, perhaps I could use a few more descriptors. A well-constructed sentence can be such a pleasure to read. A few of those wouldn't hurt. We'll see.

I write like I talk. Simple. To the point.

I think this is a direct result of having to (or rather trying to) read Madame Bovary in French in college. It's not a bad book. But it is one of those books that takes two paragraphs to tell you that there is a vase sitting on the table.

Here is one quick example...
"To reach the nurse's house, they had to turn left at the end of the road, as though going to the cemetery, and follow, between small houses and backyards, a little path bordered with privet. It was in flower, and so were the veronica, the eglantines, the nettle and the young brambles that sprang out of the bushes. Through the hole in the hedge, they could see, around the hovels, a pig asleep in the sun on a dunghill, or cows with their wooden collars, rubbing their horns against the tree-trunks. Together, side by side, they strolled along, she leaning on his arm and he slowing his stride to the measure of hers; ahead of them, a swarm of flies drifted along, humming in the warm air."

Now imagine trying to read that in French. You end up looking up about every third word, because believe it or not, "eglantines" and "dunghill" are not your typical third-year French vocabulary words.

After taking fifteen minutes to read just one page, I began to pray for a simple sentence or two. I believe that is a big reason why I write in simple sentences now, even when writing in English instead of French.

to ponder...

Do I get hit on/ flirted with more when I wear a skirt because I just look cuter and more feminine when I am in a skirt?

Or do I get hit on more when wearing a skirt because I FEEL cuter and as a result project that cute/sexy image more?

good book

There are two types of good book... the kind that you can't put down... and the kind that you KEEP putting down because you want to savor it and don't want it to be over yet so you try to make it last as long as possible!