jealous

I used to be jealous when I saw kids getting ready to go away to college for the first time. I LOVED my freshman year of college because everything was so new and exciting and different. I want that feeling again.

What I realized today is that life as a grown-up doesn't HAVE to be boring and dull. You can still try new things. You can still have excitement.

Perhaps I have lowered the bar a bit in what qualifies as "new and exciting" in my life. I won't deny that. But my point remains the same... there are still a million new and exciting things to experience in my life. Even at the ripe ol' age of thirty. I've got a lot of living left to do. I have a lot of exploring left to do. I have many adventures yet to go on.

Like today...

I tried a new fruit that I had never heard of.

I grew up in a family that only ate apples, bananas, oranges and grapes. Seriously. The first time I had a nectarine was in college and it just about blew my mind.

Today I had a lychee, which is from China.

My first thought when I saw them was "Whoa! What happened to your strawberries??" A friend had to explain to me what they were and then had to explain to me how to eat them.











It looks like a pearl onion but tastes like a juicy grape with a pit in the middle.

All I know is that if there was this crazy fruit out there that I didn't even know about, there must be thousands of great adventures that I can't even imagine still waiting for me out there!

STD testing

Have you ever done an HIV test? I hope so. I think all sexually active people should take them. However, they like to raise my insurance rates whenever I take them- maybe that was just a coincidence, but I put nothing past those horrible insurance companies! - so because of that I have started taking them anonymously.

I wonder how often men take STD tests? I'm not sure why I am so skeptical but I picture men only going in to get checked out if they are displaying outward symptoms.

Some really clever people got together and decided that to get a prescription filled for birth control, women have to come in yearly for a pap smear/ exam. Though it is annoying at the time, I think it is a brilliant idea. Because admit it, if we didn't have to do it yearly, you would just keep putting off and putting off doing the exam.

At the exam they do a manual exam as well as take some tissue samples that then get sent off to be examined. If it comes back "normal" you are all good. If it comes back "abnormal" they do more tests. Though I was displaying no outward symptoms, I once tested abnormal and it turned out that I had pre-cancerous cells that they thankfully caught and destroyed. Had I waited til I showed outward symptoms, it would have been possibly too late to treat it or at the very least would have involved a lot more invasive procedure to take care of it.

So I am thankful for my annual exams. What I learned though, surprised me. Those annual exams don't actually test for STDs. Say what?!? I suppose if you had an STD it might make you show up as abnormal but that's not a guarantee. You have to specifically ask to be tested for STDs. For some of the tests they just scrap off some extra tissue samples. For the syphilis and HIV test they need to draw blood.

So I did that a few weeks ago.

I had no reason to believe I had a STD but I figured it is always better to be on the safe side.

I took the tests...

...and then I had to wait...

...and wait...

...and wait.

And let me tell you something... even though you KNOW that there is no way that you have HIV, there is something about taking the test and having to wait for the results that makes you really paranoid and nervous! There are few things as nerve-racking as waiting for those results!

They told me that they would call me in two weeks if there was a problem and that if I didn't hear from them that it was all good.

Paranoid as I am, I had to call and just make sure that the results were negative. They were. And now I can breathe easy again.

scared

Okay, I'll admit it... I have a lot of fears. I was going to say "irrational fears" but a lot of them are pretty justifiable. And even the ones that I would have considered irrational, like, oh, I don't know, fear of having a bird attack you- turns out to be a pretty rational fear! Stupid red-winged black birds!

So I have lots of fears. I know this about myself and I refuse to let it take over my life. Pretty much all of them are little fears that I never think about unless I am in that particular situation- not the sort that keep me up at night or anything. When the lady behind me on the el is hacking her lungs out I have a fear that I will get sick. When I am swimming in the ocean I am afraid that I will be bitten by some horrible creature. But it isn't like I worry about these things every day.

Most of my little fears don't affect my life in the slightest, to tell you the truth. Because I don't let them.

I do have one fear, though, that is affecting my life a bit. I have acrophobia. A fear of heights. It isn't extreme to the point where I can't ride elevators, go on roller coasters or go up in tall buildings. I do all those things no problem. I can stand on my dresser when I am trying to kill that bug on my ceiling. No problemo.

But ladders just kill me. As soon as I get about ten feet off the ground, I start freaking out. I try to rationalize it to myself. That's how I get over all my other fears... I just talk myself out of them. But that doesn't work with heights. For example, when my brother was painting the house last summer, and climbing up and down ladders and scrambling over scaffolding like a monkey, he needed my help setting up some of the scaffolding. All I had to do was climb up a ladder and lift this scaffolding piece over my head onto the brace that was attached to the ladder. Not a tough job but one that my brother couldn't do by himself.

I felt so ridiculous because as soon as I got up there my knees went totally weak and I felt like I was about to faint. I ended up successfully doing it but I came (<----->) this close to passing out!

I've been trying to learn why this happens. The only answer I have found is that there is a lack of blood flow to the brain when you get scared. Now normally I don't question the way my body works... but this seems like a really bad design flaw to me. I'm up on top of a ladder and get scared and my body's solution is to pass out?!?!

I tried to go out on the roof today to look at the lovely hole caused by the storms this weekend and I only lasted about twenty seconds before I raced back inside. I was actually proud of myself for lasting that long! I had it all planned out in my head... I would just crawl out the window onto the flat part of the roof, then I would scramble up the sloped part of the roof and perch on the peak and look down at the opposite side of the sloped roof where the hole was. No problem!

Um, okay, slight problem... mostly having to do with me being the biggest baby in the world! Oh well, it's always good to have something to work on, right? What fun would it be if I was perfect already?!

true stories

My brother shared this with me yesterday. I liked it. Figured you would too...


STORY NUMBER ONE

Many years ago, Al Capone virtually owned Chicago . Capone wasn't famous for anything heroic. He was notorious for enmeshing the windy city in everything from bootlegged booze and prostitution to murder.

Capone had a lawyer nicknamed "Easy Eddie." He was Capone's lawyer for a good reason. Eddie was very good! In fact, Eddie's skill at legal maneuvering kept Big Al out of jail for a long time.

To show his appreciation, Capone paid him very well. Not only was the money big, but Eddie got special dividends, as well. For instance, he and his family occupied a fenced-in mansion with live-in help and all of the conveniences of the day. The estate was so large that it filled an entire Chicago City block.

Eddie lived the high life of the Chicago mob and gave little consideration to the atrocity that went on around him.

Eddie did have one soft spot, however. He had a son that he loved dearly. Eddie saw to it that his young son had clothes, cars, and a good education. Nothing was withheld. Price was no object.

And, despite his involvement with organized crime, Eddie even tried to teach him right from wrong. Eddie wanted his son to be a better man than he was.

Yet, with all his wealth and influence, there were two things he couldn't give his son; he couldn't pass on a good name or a good example.

One day, Easy Eddie reached a difficult decision. Easy Eddie wanted to rectify wrongs he had done.

He decided he would go to the authorities and tell the truth about Al "Scarface" Capone, clean up his tarnished name, and offer his son some semblance of integrity. To do this, he would have to testify against The Mob, and he knew that the cost would be great. So, he testified.

Within the year, Easy Eddie's life ended in a blaze of gunfire on a lonely Chicago Street . But in his eyes, he had given his son the greatest gift he had to offer, at the greatest price he could ever pay. Police removed from his pockets a rosary, a crucifix, a religious medallion, and a poem clipped from a magazine.

The poem read:

"The clock of life is wound but once, and no man has the power to tell just when the hands will stop, at late or early hour. Now is the only time you own. Live, love, toil with a will. Place no faith in time. For the clock may soon be still."



STORY NUMBER TWO

World War II produced many heroes. One such man was Lieutenant Commander Butch O'Hare.

He was a fighter pilot assigned to the aircraft carrier Lexington in the South Pacific.

One day his entire squadron was sent on a mission. After he was airborne, he looked at his fuel gauge and realized that someone had forgotten to top off his fuel tank.

He would not have enough fuel to complete his mission and get back to his ship.

His flight leader told him to return to the carrier. Reluctantly, he dropped out of formation and headed back to the fleet.

As he was returning to the mother ship, he saw something that turned his blood cold; a squadron of Japanese aircraft was speeding its way toward the American fleet.

The American fighters were gone on a sortie, and the fleet was all but defenseless. He couldn't reach his squadron and bring them back in time to save the fleet. Nor could he warn the fleet of the approaching danger. There was only one thing to do. He must somehow divert them from the fleet.

Laying aside all thoughts of personal safety, he dove into the formation of Japanese planes. Wing-mounted 50 caliber's blazed as he charged in, attacking one surprised enemy plane and then another. Butch wove in and out of the now broken formation and fired at as many planes as possible until all his ammunition was finally spent.

Undaunted, he continued the assault. He dove at the planes, trying to clip a wing or tail in hopes of damaging as many enemy planes as possible, rendering them unfit to fly.

Finally, the exasperated Japanese squadron took off in another direction.

Deeply relieved, Butch O'Hare and his tattered fighter limped back to the carrier.

Upon arrival, he reported in and related the event surrounding his return. The film from the gun-camera mounted on his plane told the tale. It showed the extent of Butch's daring attempt to protect his fleet. He had, in fact, destroyed five enemy aircraft.
This took place on February 20, 1942 , and for that action Butch became the Navy's first Ace of W.W.II, and the first Naval Aviator to win the Medal of Honor.

A year later Butch was killed in aerial combat at the age of 29.. His home town would not allow the memory of this WW II hero to fade, and today, O'Hare Airport in Chicago is named in tribute to the courage of this great man.

So, the next time you find yourself at O'Hare International, give some thought to visiting Butch's memorial displaying his statue and his Medal of Honor. It's located between Terminals 1 and 2.

SO WHAT DO THESE TWO STORIES HAVE TO DO WITH EACH OTHER?

Butch O'Hare was "Easy Eddie's" son.

perspectives

One of my greatest wishes in life is to have a secret camcorder connected to my eyeballs so that I can record everything I see and play it back for people.

Sure, I can tell you about the things I saw today, but I want to show you. People react differently when they know they are on camera, hence why it would have to be a secret camera.

Today I saw a man out walking his two dogs. They were big dogs and they were on leashes. Trailing about fifteen feet behind but walking at the same pace and following them was a cat.

I don't know whether it was his cat or not, but in my mind it was. You always hear people talk about cats that act like dogs. I have a hard time picturing the cat bounding all over the room when the owner says, "Do you wanna go for a walk?!?" But it was still pretty cool to watch the cat going for a walk with the family.

I wish I could record all the special little moments that I see and show them to you. I want to show you the world as I see it.

Two people can walk down the same block and come away with the entirely different experiences. Which is sort of cool, in and of itself.

But I want to share. I want to show you how I see. I want to see how you see the world. I love the feeling you get when you are with someone that you know really well and you both see something at the same time and you turn and share a look and without saying anything you both smile because you know that you are both thinking the same exact thing about what you just saw.

Is that one of the reasons that we all like tv and movies so much? Because while we are watching them we are sharing the same vision?

I don't know. All I know is that I wish I had footage of that cool ass cat!

my calling

Do you know what my problem is?

I know what you are thinking- I only have the one?!?

Anyways, my problem is that I didn't have to think at all when choosing my first career. I knew I was going to be a massage therapist since I was 11 years old. I KNEW it! It felt so right. It was my calling.

Now, as I have decided to embark on a new career, I feel so lost and scared and confused- because nothing is calling me. I think about different jobs and I think, "Sure, I could do that, I guess."

It just feels so wrong because the last time I chose a career I was so certain.

Is this what everybody feels like when deciding on a job?

How did you choose your career/job? How did you know it was right for you? Or, are you in a job that's not right for you?

statistics

I read a disturbing statistic the other day...

In one survey, 70% of female respondants said they would rather have chocolate than sex!

Whoa! Come on, fellas! It's time to step it up a notch!! That's really kind of sad. Because no woman would rather have chocolate than have great sex which means that the sex she is getting really isn't all that.

And that also means it is YOUR fault if your wife is gaining weight! You are driving her into the arms of her chocolate lover!