woke with the strangest feeling

I woke up this morning and had the strangest feeling. I realized that I actually really like my body. I felt good. I looked in the mirror and liked what I saw. When does that happen?

Granted, it could be because I am comparing it to the body that I had three weeks ago before I started my hardcore workout regime. Though I haven't lost much weight, I have definitely lost a couple of inches.

It just seems weird to admit that I like my body. My first thought is that it seems like a vain thing to say. But ya know what? It's not vain... it's healthy! Feminists have for years been trying to combat the negativity that we are bombarded with by the media. Teaching us to love our bodies.

Well ya know what? It's working. I love my body. I love that it does what I tell it to. I love that I can rollerblade for miles every day. I love that I can feel my muscles flexing under my skin. I love my curves. I love the softness of my skin.

Sure, I'd still like to drop some weight, mainly so I could fit back into all my pants! I currently can only fit into one pair of jeans. These are the jeans that I finally went out and bought a few months ago. I didn't want to buy them because they were size 12. But they fit. And as my sister and I were just discussing... only you ever see the size label on your clothes. So suck it up and buy clothes that actually fit you. You'll look a lot better in the 12's than trying to squeeze your ass into those 8's.

In my job we learn to treat every person and every body with "unconditional positive regard." Really it should be "unconditional love" but "positive regard" was more P.C.

I can see the beauty is everyone else's body, so why not my own? Would you ever tell your friend that her thighs were too fat? Do you not like your friend because her under arms sag?

It is time to treat yourself like you would treat your friends. Love yourself for who you are.

Sure, there are always going to be things you want to improve about yourself, but that doesn't mean that you can't love yourself for who you are right now.

***

On a side note, my blogs have been annoying lately. Well, they've been annoying me lately anyways with their chirpy optimism and promises of change and improvement and blah, blah, blah. I've got to move away from that crap. But I was really happy this morning and realized how rare that is so wanted to share.

happy

My happy thought for the day is this: Julia Child didn't learn to cook until she was 35.

There is hope for me yet.

:)

time to get a move on

It's been a few months since I've started this blog and what have I accomplished? Not a whole lot.

I've learned to play tennis and do some cool hula hoop moves. Which is nice. But not really something to write home about.

I've had a great time hanging out with friends- new and old. There's a lot to be said for that. It makes life worth living.

As a result of living with my sister and taking frequent long walks with her, we have bonded and gotten to know each other in a whole new way.

I've grown really comfortable being single and feel stronger. Don't get me wrong... every now and then I still throw little pity parties for myself where I dwell on the fact that I might never fall in love again. But I don't really believe that's true.

So all that is something, but not enough. It's time to step it up. I seem to be pretty good at adding things to my "to do before I die" list but I don't seem to be that good at actually crossing things off.

But that's about to change.

I'm starting by getting Lasik eye surgery. I have to start somewhere, right? I've always wanted it and the technology has improved to the point where they can fully correct my vision. It's expensive. Damn expensive, but with the payment plan and zero interest I will have it paid off in a year and a half. Not bad.

And because of deciding to get Lasik and therefore having to go get an exam, I got to dreamily gaze at an adorably cute optometrist all afternoon. See, good things happen when you decide to take control of your life!

chicago baseball

A lot of people think you have to choose between being a Cubs fan and a Sox fan. But you don't. I like them both. I think the reason that I can like them both is because I'm not a die hard fan. I go to more Sox games because it is easier to get tickets to those games and because I have a lots of Sox fan friends, but I actually prefer the Cubbies. Though both teams have their fair share of idiot fans.

I am a rarity though. Most people love one team and hate the other.

Anyways, the funniest thing I have seen this week was when I was watching a Sox game on TV. It was an away game and there wasn't much of a crowd. The camera panned to one section that was all but deserted. There were only four people in the section. It was a family- a mom and a dad and two young boys.

The mom and dad sat with the younger son between them and were huddled together under a Sox blanket. The older son sat about 12 rows up by himself... under a Cubs blanket!

Classic Chicago!

are you special?

Do you think you are special?

Maybe I am just lucky to be surrounded by really amazing people but I wouldn't describe any of my friends as just a normal person.

I've always believed that everyone in their hearts thinks that they are truly special and different. Maybe I am completely wrong about that.

I got a friend request from someone on Facebook that I didn't know. So I looked at their info and in their "about me" column they had written "I'm just a regular guy, no bells and whistles."

Really? Perhaps it is because I really am different but I would never describe myself that way. Nor would I want to. Again, what's the fun in being normal?

Which made me think about why someone would want to be "a regular guy." Well, it can feel good to fit in. It means that you have things (beliefs, activities, etc) in common with lots of other people. Especially if you were ever ostracized before, being accepted and fitting in could be ideal. And it can be a much more succinct description for a guy rather than saying, "I like cars and sports and beer and boobs, etc."

Yet I think every person, especially the more you get to know them, is special. So that even if they are doing "normal" things with their life it doesn't make them any less special.

On a sort of related note, I have heard that when asked to rate their appearance on a scale of 1 to 10, that over 75 percent of the population will rank themselves as a 7 or 8. How would you rank yourself?

I'd probably give myself a 7 or 8. Anyways, this means that most of the population thinks that they look above average. Which ties in with my belief that I thought that everybody sees themselves as being better than average.

nerd alert

Okay, I'm going to admit something that is kind of embarrassing and nerdy. On Twitter I follow some friends, some news feeds and... some celebrities. That's right, I stalk celebs via Twitter.

It started because I had heard that John Mayer was an obsessive tweeter and he gets made fun of for doing it so much so I wanted to check it out and see how annoying he was. In case you were wondering, it's true, he is sort of obnoxious. But amusing too. His latest tweet?

johncmayerJust figured out Rock Band. The right hand has to stay down the entire length of the note. Dumb. But I'm rocking now. @tonyheld is toast.

Then there is my personal favorite- Sarah Silverman. She might be the funniest tweeter I have ever met.

What makes me super nerdy is that in my head I pretend that I am totally friends with these people. Like, "oh yeah, Sarah Silverman is sending out a tweet to me. That's cool."

Such a nerd. I was skeptical at first but I am liking twitter. I don't have to worry about annoying people with constant facebook updates now. I update via twitter instead. I have a lot of friends in facebook so my news feed is made up of info from lots of different people. I was thinking about my friends though who only have twenty or thirty friends on facebook- I worry that their home page is comprised entirely of updates from me!

let's get physical

I was walking home the other day and I was in a funk. I was focusing on things that other people had and that I wanted. That is always a recipe for destruction.

It was a lovely summer day, everything was lush and green. The air was a little cool but it was a nice change from the heat wave we'd been having. There were pretty flowers everywhere. There were little birds hopping around discovering treasures in the grass. There were children playing in the playlot, letting out delighted shrieks in the way that only children can do. But was I seeing any of this? If I was it wasn't registering.

I walk fast. I knew that in a couple of minutes I would get home and I would still be in a funk.

I told myself to stop being in a funk. Stop thinking about the stuff I didn't have and focus on the great stuff I do have. I told myself to stop.

And so I did. I stopped. To a passerby it must have looked kind of weird for me to be striding down the sidewalk at full tilt and then come to a screeching halt but that's what I did.

I stopped. And took a few breaths. And looked around me. And smiled.

Wow. I could have told myself to stop having those negatives thoughts all day and nothing would have come of it. But actually stopping, stilling my body, looking at the world, did the trick.

It made me think about how important physical actions are. How just standing up straight can make you feel stronger and more confident. How smiling even when you don't feel like it, can make you feel happier.

Try it. Take a deep breath. Now give yourself a little hug. Now sit up straight, with your head held high. Take another deep breath. Now smile. And know that right now I am smiling back at you.

Don't you feel better?

“This is my depressed stance. When you're depressed, it makes a lot of difference how you stand. The worst thing you can do is straighten up and hold your head high because then you'll start to feel better. If you're going to get any joy out of being depressed, you've got to stand like this.” -Charlie Brown