My uncle Roger had a stroke back in November and was paralyzed on his left side. Some of the movement is coming back but he is an old stubborn man who is not the best patient to say the least. He is not allowed to drink anything because he can not swallow and apparently our ability to swallow is what makes the liquid go into our stomachs instead of our lungs.
He started at one hospital and just got moved to another place but it nowhere near ready to go home. Though of course that is what he wants to do.
He never took care of himself. In fact, he rather abused his body. He told my mom when she went to visit him that he had "thought he was invincible." He never thought that something like this would happen to him.
I'm racked with guilt because I haven't been to visit him. Mind you, we aren't super close or anything. It's not like I am not visiting my mom or something. But I just can't bring myself to go over there. I don't want to see him like this.
My Aunt Claudia sends out updates to the family. Mostly she just repeats whatever my Aunt Pam and cousin Butch (Roger's wife and son) tell her.
Here is the latest update...
Roger's been transferred to the 2nd floor in Manor Care.
He was transferred because a bed became available and if he stayed on the 1st floor and his insurance ran out and there was no bed available on the 2nd floor, they'd have to transfer him out of Manor Care.
Pam didn't see Roger today (Tuesday), because on her way to the dentist, her car started steaming and smelled like something was burning, so she went right to her mechanic. He told her it was a metal pipe from the cooling system that rusts out and there's no 'after market' product, so the part had to be ordered from Ford. It's supposed to come in tomorrow. So she had Eric pick her up and she went home to go through more paperwork. Someone also smashed one of the windows in her van on Sunday, so it was not a good car day for her.
Monday, Roger had his therapy with George in the morning, then in the afternoon, Bonnie gave him his therapy. When Pam got there, Roger told her to go find Bonnie, because Bonnie told Roger they weren't done and she would be coming back. So Pam found Bonnie in the therapy room and gave her Roger's message. Bonnie said she didn't say that and that Roger was done with his therapy. Bonnie did say that Roger was very tired that day and she had taped his hand, because it was very swollen and she put the edema glove on him, because the brace was too tight now.
When Pam was back in the room, Roger told her that he had a dream that he didn't know where he was and was abducted by aliens. Then he told her when he woke up, he got in his wheel chair and heard Ronnie Frank (a friend of theirs) telling him to go by the window. Pam told him Ronnie Frank was dead, so Roger said it must have been his brother Jack. Roger told Pam the Notre Dame Church was going around visiting people and that's why Jack was there. (Unfortunately, none of this was true, but again, Roger knew the alien abduction was a dream, but he believed that Jack had really been there and that he had gotten himself up and in his chair. ???)
Pam asked Roger is he remembered how he got to Manor Car and Roger said no. Then she asked him is he remembered coming to Manor Care in the wheelchair, riding in the medi-van and again he said no. At 5:45 p.m. Roger rang for the nurse and Pam asked him why. Roger told her he had to get dressed for therapy. (Before that, Dorothy, the speech therapist, had her session with Roger and said he did okay but that he was very tired.) Pam told Roger he was done with therapy, but Roger thought it was the morning. Pam told him it was night and showed him the television shows that were on at night. Then she asked Roger if he remembered when he got sick in Reno, (16 years ago, I think). They had come home Sunday night and Pam was taking him to the ER and they were crossing over the bridge in the dark. Roger had commented that he couldn't believe there was no traffic because it was rush hour. Pam told him it wasn't rush hour, it was night. Roger said if it was night, they were going to Al's, so they went to Al's and the next day Roger saw Dr. Monoco. Pam told Roger she told him that story to explain to him that this is what he was going through now - that his mind is not focusing on stuff the right way.
Then, George, the therapist, walked past and Roger told Pam to call George, because Roger's leg brace had come in and was there. Pam told him the brace wasn't coming in until Tuesday, but Roger insisted it was there and told Pam to go find George. So Pam found George and told him that Roger said to tell him his brace was in. George, said, "Okay, you told me. Just like I told him it wouldn't be in until Tuesday."
Now it's Tuesday and Pam is at home and Butch calls her to tell her that Roger is being moved to the second floor. Prior to that, Roger told Butch he needed to go and wanted a bed pan. So they pushed the button for the nurse, but no one answered and Roger pooped all over. (I know it's gross, but you have to know this for the rest of the story to make sense.) Butch told Pam the smell was making him sick and Butch didn't know how Pam could do this every day. Then Butch asked if Pam washed his clothes, or if the nursing home did it. Pam told him to bag everything and bring it home and she would take care of it. By 6 p.m. Butch wasn't by Pam, so she assumed he wasn't coming. Pam was upstairs doing paperwork when she heard Butch come in. She went down to talk to him and again Butch told her he didn't know how she was handling all this, because it was such a mess and Roger was telling Butch his weird dreams and Butch was gagging just telling Pam about the mess Roger had made.
Then Butch told Pam that Roger's new roommate has his area set up like home. He's got a plastic storage unit with drawers and a shelf set up with all his snacks on it. Butch told Pam he didn't know what to do with Roger's stuff, so he just put it in the room and told Pam she'd have to take care of it.
Wednesday, Pam has to go downtown for a copy of her marriage license, so Kim and Ali are going to go with her.
At some point during all this, Dorothy, the speech therapist, told Pam to prepare herself that when Roger leaves, the stomach tube will still be in and she'd have to learn how to take care of it. Pam said that's one of the reasons she doesn't want him home all that soon. Plus, she's afraid that once he's home, he'll sneak food. Dorothy told her that if he did that, he'd get pneumonia and be sick again. (Even Dorothy has had the experience of swabbing out Roger's mouth and him trying to suck all the liquid off of it. She told him he couldn't do that or he'd get sick, but you can imagine how hard it must be, not to be able to eat or drink.)
Since Roger can't eat, Pam was telling him about Samantha's family questionnaire and the question "Which food would you miss the most?" She asked Roger what his food would be. At first he said coffee, but then changed his mind and said bananas. Then Pam asked him another question from the questionnaire: If he could only eat one food for the rest of his life, what would he choose? Roger's answer was hamburgers. Pam said her answer was cookies, but that hamburgers made more sense.
Back to Butch - (I write these reports up as Pam tells them to me, so forgive me for the jumping around, but as you know, Pam has a lot on her mind.) When Butch was with Roger on Tuesday, he noticed Roger was huffing and puffing and thought all that Roger had been through with the poop mess and changing rooms was too stressful for him. The nurse checked his oxygen level and it was down to 70. (I think it's supposed to run around 90.) So the nurse said they would give Roger 2 liters of oxygen. Butch told her that wasn't enough and that he needed at least 5. (Pam doesn't know why Butch thinks he knows how much oxygen Roger needs.) Anyway, after Butch said he needed 5 liters, the nurse gave Roger 3 liters. But Roger was still huffing and puffing and had ragged breath, so Butch called the nurse and told her Roger still couldn't breath. So the respiratory therapist was called and gave Roger a breathing treatment and eventually his breathing was back to normal.
And, believe it or not, after all that, this report is done.
It makes me so grateful for what I have. And it makes me want to take care of myself better. And it makes me want to jump and laugh and smile and enjoy every moment that I am given.
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