special day

Today is October 15th which is a very special day. It is the start of Carleton's basketball season, which I have to admit, doesn't really mean that much to me. But it is also Jamie's birthday!

Happy birthday, Pookie!

I love you!

what is cool anyways??

Every now and then I wish that I was "cooler" and trendier. I see these hipsters rockin' down the street in their tight ass pants. I see people who really make a devotion to their "look." And then I look down and see my jeans and Sambas. I could definitely try harder, it's true.

But then I have this thought... how lame is it to dress like other people just so that you can seem cool??? It is so much cooler just to be yourself, even if being yourself means that you wear a t-shirt every day.

So maybe I'm not cool, but at least I'm not trying to be something I'm not.

The Bell Jar

Reading a story about a girl's descent into mental illness and her attempts to commit suicide that is written by an author who went on to commit suicide a month after the book was published is a really intense experience.

paths to follow

As much as I claim not to have been impressed by the book Siddhartha, there are parts of it that have stuck with me weeks later. Isn't that the sign of a good book?


The most insightful thing that I've learned was that everyone has to follow their own path and you can't choose it for them, even if you don't think it is the right path.

That's an easy thing to say, but a hard thing to put into practice.

Especially when you see people making what you think are huge mistakes. Sure, you can give them your opinions and advice but when it comes down to it, they sometimes need to learn things the hard way. It's their life. And people aren't going to live the lives that YOU think they should live, they are going to live the lives that they want to live.

I just want to say thanks to my parents for letting me be me. Sure they forced me to do some stuff like take piano lessons and play on the soccer team even when I hated the girls on the team, but they also let me be me.

I have a friend who asked me what I would do differently from my parents when I raise kids. I'm sure there are things I would do differently, but I hope to be as accepting as my parents were. Of course, maybe I was just their sixth kid and they had given up! :)

gray skies

How can gray skies make such a big difference on my attitude? Every other factor can be the same- same temp, same amount of wind, same place- yet if the sky is gray instead of blue, I just feel like crap.

Does the amount of light really make that much of a difference? Is it psychological?

Blaaaaaaaaah!

random emails rock

I hereby declare this week to be random email week. How great is it when you get a random email from a friend that you haven't heard from in years just out of the blue?

It's awesome. So now it is your turn... go write someone you haven't talked to in a while an email.

Go! Do it! If you are reading this blog it means that you have nothing better to do anyways!!!

will I become another statistic of this poor economy?

What to write about today? Let's write about the fact that I may be losing my job. The horror! It is nothing definite yet but the spa has been struggling for quite some time and is in some danger of closing. The bosses actually sent out a mass email to our client list that basically said that in this tough economy the spa has been hard hit and if it continues like this that the bosses would have to make some "tough decisions."

My brother thought this was terrible marketing. After they sent it out though, the phones started ringing and we started booking up. Hopefully this will last for more than just a week. We also received tons of really sweet emails back from people telling us how much they loved the spa.

How many times have you gone by a place and noticed it was now closed and said, "Damn! I loved that place! If I had known it was struggling I would have gone there more or sent my friends there!"

So we'll see. Maybe the spa will pull through.

Would it be the worst thing in the world if I lost this job? Yes and no. I'll never find another job like it again. My coworkers are amazing. The staff is incredibly supportive. It is a healthy and fun place to work. I love my job.

But there are lots of massage jobs out there and I still have my private clients and it could be just the push I need to finally start focusing on writing like I keep saying I want to do.

I don't want to still be working at the spa ten years from now (not full time anyways) but how do you quit a job that you absolutely love?

Now maybe I won't have to. Maybe the decision will be made for me. Maybe the fates have been reading my blog and know that I need a little kick in the butt to do something more with my life.

That was actually one of the other things that the tarot card reader said to me. She told me that I was "half-assing it." She told me that my life was fine and that other people might be happy with it but that I would never be happy with it since I was just half-assing it and that I could and should do more.

I hate it when people are right.