But Mike's boss LOVES Mike and was really excited to finally get to party with him (because Mike is an old man and rarely goes on all-night benders like these young hipsters do.)
In my defense, talking to people I don't know is my idea of torture, and yet, I did surprisingly well and had several funny conversations with people. I want that noted for the record.
And then after a couple of hours, my throat hurt and my back was spasming and I said, "fuck it." Mike helped me find a cab home and then he went back inside. Mike's boss's band was playing and Mike went onstage to sing a couple of songs with them. Funny how (apart from our wedding) I've never seen Mike perform in front of people.
You know how it is... a guy is onstage singing and suddenly he is really hot? Well at the end of the night two girls got in a mini catfight over Mike. Both (of these skanky whores) wanted to make out with him. I have two things to say about that... first is- WHAT IS WRONG WITH THESE WOMEN??? They KNOW he is married and in fact, met me (his wife) earlier that very evening. And this is probably why these women are single... they have no self-respect or respect for others.
The other thing I have to say, is that it is really nice being with someone that I trust so completely. Mike and I jokingly talked about the fact just the other day that he could never cheat on me because he could A) not handle the sad puppy-dog look I would give him when I found out and B) he would never get away with it because I have an amazing sense of smell and would be able to sniff it out and know if he tried something. Whose perfume is this? Did you hug someone who showered with Dial soap? I would know.
My other thought is that while it is nice that Mike and I can tell each other anything... that doesn't mean you necessarily SHOULD. Because now I'm going to have to kick his slutty skank-face coworkers in the head the next time I see them. Hipsters, man, fucking hipsters.
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