I miss the old christmases

Do you remember when Christmas used to be fun and magical?

Christmas as an adult is different. It's expensive. And exhausting. And emotional.

That's not to say it's not lovely. It's still fun. I still enjoy parts of it. I do. Really.

But when we were at my aunt's house last night I got pretty down. I had been doing really well, but last night it was baby central. It seems like all of my cousins (who are younger than me) are popping out babies. There were four babies under the age of 2 years-old there last night. And lots of happy aunts/grandmas cooing and cuddling them and it was sweet. And I wanted to punch them all in the face.

And then Mike sees me get upset and then he gets upset. And then I think about all the people who are single and how hard it might be for them to be there pretending it is all great. And then I think about all the people with anxiety and other problems who struggle to be in those situations and how hard it is for them. And then I think about all the people who are missing someone who has passed away and how hard it is for them.

Like I said, do you remember when Christmas used to be fun and magical?

I have an amazing life. I have the best husband ever. But that doesn't stop me from getting sad sometimes. As much as my brain tries to convince my heart to be happy, it doesn't always get with the program.

Was 2014 a good year? It was a hard year. Lots of hurdles. Lots of challenges. Lots of being in limbo, especially in regards to Mike opening his restaurant, which I have no control over.

It wasn't a bad year. I did lots of growing. I totally rocked this school year. I learned more than I ever thought capable. And I did pass my comps, by the way!

But given the choice, I would not repeat this year. I'm glad to have it behind me.

I could post about the awesome presents I got for Christmas, and the amazing dinners my husband cooks me and tell you about my upcoming trip to Puerto Rico. I could paint a picture that would make you super envious of my life. But that's what Facebook is for! Ha! Here on my blog, you get the more balanced picture. Yes, my life is amazing, but I'm a little down right now. And that's okay.

Balance is good. It makes you appreciate what you have. And right now I have a bed that is calling my name!

I hope everyone reading this had a wonderful Christmas and found more reasons to smile than to cry this year.